Many things may be out of your control when managing up, but what is in your purview is the type of leader you want to be while aiming to make positive changes. In the book, Influence Without Authority, Dan Olsen talks about when communicating up, success depends on 60% substance and 40% style, so controlling your content and delivery will go a long way to achieving your outcome.
Here are some aspects to think about to manage up successfully:
1. Focus on what you can influence, and accept what you can’t. It can be helpful to accept that sometimes we cannot change senior leadership, we can only change our behavior and be the leaders we wish we had. Embrace the practices that you espouse. For example, if you feel like your manager’s team purpose is non-existent and already pointed out that observation, you can offer your interpretation of the team’s purpose and operate on that view until otherwise told.
2. Acknowledge their authority. Ultimately, the person in power will probably make the final decision, so recognize that. You might say, “I know you’ll make the call here, would you be open to hearing some of my thoughts?” This approach can show respect and offer a reminder of the choices available.
3. Avoid judgments, share facts. When you express concerns, stay away from judgmental words such as “short-sighted” or “hasty” that might set off your manager and has the potential to be taken personally. Sharing facts and examples will help you make your case much better. For example, instead of saying, “I think that first-quarter deadline is naïve,” you can say, “We’ve tried four projects like this in the past, and we were able to do two in a similar time, but those were special circumstances. What has changed or needs to change to deliver this work in the same time period?” You can call attention to the reality of the situation and be future-focused in thinking through how we can make this happen.
4. Share disagreements humbly. Even though your opinion might be well-informed and well-researched, it is still an opinion so talk tentatively where you leave room for the other person to weigh in. Instead of saying “If we set an end-of-quarter deadline, we’ll never make it,” you might offer, “In my opinion, based on where we are now, I do not see how we will make that deadline.” You can also use phrases like, “I’m thinking aloud here.” This will leave room for dialogue, and it shows your curiosity about other perspectives. You can even ask for permission to share your disagreements. “I know we seem to be moving toward a first-quarter commitment here, I have reasons to think that it will not work. I’d like to lay out my reasoning. Would that be OK?” This gives the person choices and allows them to opt out. You can further invite them to respond by asking them, “what might be missing from this assessment?”
5. Approach with inquiry. If your manager has made a decision that has impacted your work, you can lead with open-ended questions such as, “I would love to understand the rationale for this decision, can you tell me what went into this? Assumptions are counterproductive, share your thinking and genuinely seek to understand their perspective and what they are trying to get done. It is helpful to assume positive intent because you only see one piece of the picture, meanwhile they have a more expansive view based on their leadership team meetings and discussions on what is coming down the pike. They could also have stressors that you do not see or fully understand based on where you sit in the company.
6. Pick your battles. If it comes to stylistic differences, give your boss what they want. If they prefer PowerPoint, but you prefer google slides, instead of spending energy arguing on small things, defer to their preferences. Strive to win the big ones and not waste energy and psychological capital on the more minor points.
7. View your boss as your customer. You may feel frustrated that you cannot get your job done because you are working on your boss’ items. It is good to check in with yourself because your priority is your boss.’ How would your mindset be different if you saw your boss as your customer and you were working on satisfying their plans?
8. Ask for their advice. If you have determined that your boss has a “closed mind” about something, you can signal your openness by asking for their advice. Adam Grant offers this example. “Let’s say you want your leader to take mental health seriously, you can use this phrasing, ‘I heard from many people that they are struggling with mental health, which can affect their well-being and I know you care about building a community here. I want people to feel that they are cared about so I’m trying to think about how to do a better job supporting people, I’m not sure what to do next, but I know you are brilliant at getting things done and driving change. Would you be willing to help with these cultural changes?’” People like to feel included and genuine flattery can go a long way. Plus, it is less threatening when you approach your comments not trying to make the person wrong and show that you have a superior way but are open to learning from the leader or co-creating something better together. You come across as an advocate and not an adversary.
Managing up involves both art and science to be successful. You want to have the right content to share, as well as an effective delivery. Using facts and inquiry, approaching disagreements humbly, and seeking true partnership can get you off to a great start.
Quote of the day: “One of the best ways to influence people is to make them feel important. Most people enjoy those rare moments when others make them feel important. It is one of the deepest human desires.” -Roy T. Bennett.
Q: What style do others use to manage up that you see as most effective? Which is the least effective? Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!
[The next blog in this series 6/6 will focus on pitfalls to avoid when managing up]
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.
What is your leadership style when managing up?