The Art of Receiving Feedback (feedback series 2/4)

Does this sound like you? A friend or co-worker offers you some constructive feedback and you immediately feel flustered. Maybe you defend yourself. Maybe you mentally discredit the source. Maybe you decide — quite maturely, of course — that this person will not be receiving a holiday card this year. You are not alone.

Receiving feedback can feel surprisingly personal. Even when it’s well-intentioned, our brains often interpret it as a threat — to our competence, our reputation, or even our belonging. What begins as data quickly turns into emotion. It is also hard because few people enjoy hearing critical comments about themselves.  It could make you feel undervalued, disappointed, discouraged, and even disengaged.  Moreover, defensiveness usually ignites - you may consider the source of the feedback and assess whether they are “qualified” to provide it in the first place, or you may reject the comments on the basis of not being relevant to you, but more reflective of the messenger than you.

But if your objective is growth, feedback is not optional. Even the most self-aware leaders have blind spots. We all operate with incomplete data about how we are experienced by others. An external perspective — especially from someone willing to care personally and challenge professionally — is one of the fastest ways to accelerate development.

High performers don’t merely tolerate feedback. They mine it.

1. Reframe Feedback as Valuable Data. Feedback is not a verdict on your worth; it is data about your impact. You don’t have to agree with every piece of feedback — and you certainly don’t have to act on every suggestion — but dismissing feedback outright eliminates an opportunity to examine it. Instead of asking, “Is this true?” try asking, “What part of this might be useful?”  Curiosity reduces defensiveness and invites learning.

2. Create a Feedback Loop . If you know one area you want to improve, enlist help intentionally. For example, perhaps you suspect that you over-explain in meetings. Ask a trusted colleague to observe and give you immediate feedback afterward. Not in six months and not in a performance review, but immediately. Real-time calibration accelerates behavior change. Your partner can: Flag when you drift into too much detail, reinforce moments when you are concise, and help you experiment with alternative approaches. Progress happens through iteration.

3. Ask Better Questions. If you’re unsure where to focus, create a go-to question that invites actionable insight. For example:

·      What is one thing I could start or stop doing to make it easier to work with me?

·      What behavior, if adjusted, would elevate my leadership most?

·      Where do you see me unintentionally limiting my effectiveness as a great leader/coworker?

·      What’s one new behavior I can adopt that you see really successful in senior leadership?

These questions signal maturity and confidence. Leaders who seek feedback demonstrate that growth matters more than ego.

4. Practice the Discipline of Receiving. Receiving feedback well is a skill — and it requires intentional practice. It involves both cognive and emotional regulation.

A. Pause Before Responding. Don’t be overly reactive to feedback. Pause. Breathe. Let the initial emotional surge subside before you speak. You do not want to inadvertently push well-meaning people away.  When you are soliciting feedback, defensiveness is self-defeating.

B. Listen Fully.   Sometimes our inner commentator dictator hijacks the conversation by responding too soon, thereby missing the benefit of the full report. Practice active listening: focus on understanding more than replying or defending.

C. Thank the Messenger. Even if the feedback is difficult. Even if you disagree. Gratitude keeps doors open. Saying “thank you” does not mean you agree with every point. It does not mean the feedback is accurate, complete, or even well delivered. It simply acknowledges that someone took the time — and often the courage — to share their perspective. That distinction matters. When you say “thank you,” you are appreciating the input, not validating it as objective truth. You are signaling professionalism, openness, and composure — while still retaining your autonomy and discernment. Mature leaders understand this nuance. They can hold two ideas at once: I appreciate you sharing this, and I will decide what to do with it. Gratitude keeps the relationship intact. Discernment protects your judgment.

5. Filter, Verify, and Triangulate. Not all feedback will be equally insightful — some may reflect the giver’s preferences, biases, or experiences. That doesn’t make it useless, but it does require discernment. Tips for filtering feedback well:

·       A. Separate diagnosis from prescription. People are often better at identifying patterns than at suggesting exactly how to fix them. Listen for the underlying insight rather than just the recommended course of action.

·       B. Triangulate across sources. If a theme emerges in feedback from multiple people, that’s stronger evidence for something worth attending to.

·       C. Don’t take everything literally. People’s advice might work for them, but not for you. There are many paths to developing a skill; your job is to figure out what aligns with your strengths and context. Some leaders even use a trusted group of colleagues — a feedback cabal — to help them interpret and refine feedback before acting on it.

 6. Manage the Emotional Impact. Leadership is imperfect people leading imperfect people. You will sometimes receive feedback that is clumsy, incomplete, poorly delivered, or even partially inaccurate. That does not mean it is useless — and it does not mean you need to react in the moment.

Receiving feedback is not just a cognitive task; it is an emotional one. Our brains are wired to interpret criticism as a potential threat — to our competence, our reputation, or even our sense of belonging. When that threat response activates, we may feel defensive, embarrassed, irritated, or suddenly compelled to explain ourselves. None of those reactions make you a bad leader. They make you human. The goal is not to eliminate the reaction, but to regulate it.

If you feel emotionally activated, pause before responding. Slow your breathing. Give yourself a moment to let the initial surge pass so you can hear the message more clearly. Resist the urge to interrupt, justify, or “give feedback about their feedback.”

If you need space, say: “This is a lot to take in. I’d love some time to process it. Can we reconnect tomorrow so I can respond thoughtfully?” That response demonstrates maturity. It protects the relationship and preserves your ability to learn — even when the delivery is imperfect. When you manage the emotional impact in the moment, you stay in leadership rather than slipping into reaction.

 7. Build Recovery Practices That Support You. Even after you’ve handled the moment well, feedback can linger. For some leaders, the emotional charge fades quickly. For others, it stays with them long after the conversation ends. If you tend to feel feedback deeply, build intentional recovery practices that help you reset before drawing conclusions or taking action.

After a difficult conversation, you might go for a walk, work out, or engage in a calming ritual such as a warm bath. You might talk with someone who knows and loves you — someone who can help you separate emotion from insight and remind you of the fuller picture of who you are. The goal is not to dismiss the feedback, but to process it in a way that allows you to return to it with clarity and perspective.

 If you receive written or survey-based feedback, consider asking a trusted partner to review it first and distill the core themes. This can prevent you from over-indexing on one sharply worded comment or isolated critique. It is rarely about any single sentence. It is about patterns.

 Strong leaders do not pretend feedback doesn’t affect them. They create systems to metabolize it well. When you regulate and then recover, you give yourself the best chance to extract insight rather than react from emotion.

8. Respond Productively – Even When You Disagree.  Sometimes you will disagree with the feedback. There is a way you can be discerning about it.  For example, you may be held accountable for outcomes where you don’t have full decision rights. You may be trying new approaches that haven’t yet gained traction. You may simply see the situation differently.

Disagreement is not the problem. How you handle it is.  You will want ownership and collaboration, not defensiveness.  You might say:

· “I really want to make progress here. I’ve tried A and B, and they’re not moving the needle. Can we brainstorm other approaches that you’ve seen work?”

· “Here’s what I’m working on. What else would you add?”

These responses signal commitment without surrendering your perspective. They show you are focused on improvement — not ego.  You can also enlist your leader more directly:  · “If you notice me practicing this skill, I’d appreciate you letting me know how it’s landing.”  That simple request turns feedback into a partnership. It shifts the dynamic from episodic judgment to iterative growth.  Strong leaders don’t treat disagreement as a standoff. They use it to clarify expectations, deepen alignment, and co-create better outcomes.

When you can receive information about how your behavior is impacting others — especially when that impact was not your intent — it becomes a gamechanger. Too many professionals move through their careers unaware of the signals they are sending. Feedback makes the invisible visible, and with visibility comes agency. Agency creates choice, and choice creates improvement. Leaders who stay open and discerning — even when the message is uncomfortable — don’t just grow faster; they build trust, strengthen relationships, and expand their influence. It’s not just a personal skill. It’s a leadership advantage.

Reflection question: What is one behavior in which you would like to get feedback?  Who could you ask to be your feedback partner?

Quote of the day: “God gave us all weaknesses and it is a blessing to find out about them” -Ben Horowitz, CEO and Author

The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on 5 common mistakes to avoid when giving feedback.

As an executive coach, I help leaders strengthen both sides of the feedback equation — giving it with clarity and receiving it with maturity — so performance and trust grow together, contact me to learn more.

Feedback is a gift

The Art of Giving Feedback (Feedback series 1/4)

Giving feedback is one of the most powerful accelerators of development. Without it, people rely on guesswork and delayed course correction. With it, learning compresses. What might take months to refine can improve in weeks. Feedback, when delivered well, sharpens awareness — and awareness dramatically increases the speed of growth.

Yet many leaders still default to the familiar “sandwich” approach: cushioning corrective feedback between two compliments. While well-intentioned, this method often backfires. As Roger Schwarz has noted in Harvard Business Review, praise used as a buffer can feel strategic rather than sincere. Instead of softening the message, it heightens anticipation. The recipient waits for the “but,” and the positive feedback loses credibility.

There’s also a cognitive reality at play. Humans process negative information more intensely than positive information — a phenomenon known as negativity bias. Even when praise is included, the corrective portion tends to dominate memory and emotion. The praise fades. The criticism lingers. And the anxiety both parties hoped to avoid quietly increases.

Great feedback is not about cushioning discomfort. It is about creating clarity, reinforcing standards, and strengthening trust. But here’s what often gets missed: Before the structure, model, and wording, you must set the emotional frame.

Set the Emotional Frame Before the Content.

How you open a feedback conversation often determines how it lands. The first sentence signals whether the person should prepare to defend themselves — or lean in to grow, whether they will feel judged or invested in. A strong emotional frame communicates belief, partnership, and forward momentum. You might say:

·       This may be hard to hear, and I know it’s going to lead to a good outcome.

·       In the spirit of development, I believe in you, and know you can be better than you are / capable of more.

·       I want to live in a world where your impact matches your insight.

This works because it signals care, shared future, confidence in growth, and reduces the threat without diluting the truth. When people feel respected and believed in, their nervous system softens. And when defensiveness lowers, learning accelerates.

From there, structure matters. Below are four frameworks that help leaders move beyond outdated tactics and deliver guidance that truly accelerates growth: Magical Feedback, Radical Candor, the SBI Method, and Intent vs. Impact. Feel free to draw inspiration from any of these methods and develop your own approach to deliver your message effectively.

1. Magical Feedback

It is more appetizing to discard that stale sandwich and replace it with magical feedback, a concept pioneered by a group of psychologists from Stanford, Yale, and Columbia. Their research showed that this particular form of feedback used by a teacher boosted student effort and performance immensely.  It was what researchers called “wise feedback.”

The formula has 3 components: connection, belonging, and high standards.  When those signals are present together, feedback stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling like an investment.

1. Connection: Employees are far more open to feedback when they believe their leader is genuinely invested in them — yet many don’t feel that. A 2018 Employee Financial Wellness Survey found that only 44% of employees believe their manager truly cares about them as a person. When that foundation is missing, feedback feels like evaluation, not development.

Connection doesn’t require over-sharing; it requires intention. When people feel seen, understood, and supported in their growth, feedback lands as partnership rather than criticism. Find out what drives your people.

 2. Belonging:  Humans are wired for belonging, and the workplace is no exception. Gallup’s research shows that employees who report having a “best friend at work” are more engaged and more committed — not because of popularity, but because connection builds trust. When people feel part of a community, they are more open to feedback and more willing to grow.

Framing feedback within belonging reinforces a powerful message: You matter here, and your work affects others. Reminding someone that their teammates rely on them and that their contribution shapes collective success shifts feedback from personal critique to shared accountability — and that makes development far more likely.

 3. Recognizing high standards: The final ingredient is expectation. Wise feedback does not lower the bar — it reinforces it. It communicates two messages at once: the standard matters, and I believe you can meet it. Without standards, feedback feels optional. Without belief, it feels discouraging.

When delivering feedback, name the expectation clearly and anchor it in the person’s strengths. “We hold a high bar for this role, and you’ve shown the capability to meet it.” When leaders pair challenge with confidence, feedback becomes motivating rather than deflating — and that belief often becomes self-fulfilling.

 Separately, each aspect has a limited effect, but when combined, it creates feedback magic and can sound like this. “I’m invested in your growth and in the quality of work we produce together. You’re someone the team relies on for strong, timely execution. When deadlines slip, it creates downstream delays and affects trust with our partners. I know you’re capable of meeting the standard we’ve set — what adjustments would help you get back on track?”

2. Radical Candor

Another powerful approach is Kim Scott’s Radical Candor concept - the ability to care personally while challenging directly. At its core, this model is less about structure and more about stance. It asks leaders to hold two truths at the same time: I respect you, and I won’t lower the standard.

When leaders avoid challenge in the name of kindness, performance suffers. When they challenge without demonstrating care, trust erodes. Radical Candor lives in the tension between the two.

Author Lara Hogan offers a practical way to operationalize this mindset: combine a clear observation with impact, genuine curiosity, and a forward-looking request. The goal is not just to point something out — it’s to strengthen the working relationship and align expectations going forward.

1. Behavior Observation. Describe the who/what/when/where of the situation in which you are referring, keying in on the behavior.

2. Impact.  Describe how your employee’s behavior/action has impacted you or others.

3. Question.  Ask a question to learn more about the situation. This part is important because you can learn about the person’s intentions and draw attention to the intention-impact gap, which can build trust and understanding.

4. Request. You can offer a request for using the desired behavior going forward and even provide an example or co-create one.

That can sound like this: Example 1: When Beth spoke, I noticed you jumped in and cut her off when she was not done explaining her idea (BEHAVIOR). That interruption made her feel like her ideas were not validated, and she will be more hesitant to share next time (IMPACT).  Can you help me understand why you jumped in that way (QUESTION)? How could you give somebody the space to complete their thoughts for next time? Or, I’d like you to give somebody the space to complete their thoughts so they feel safe sharing (REQUEST).

Example 2: When we were in the executive steering committee yesterday, you presented the results as solely your team’s success. I noticed you didn’t mention the cross-functional partners who helped deliver the outcome. I’m concerned that may unintentionally create friction with peers and limit long-term collaboration. Can you walk me through how you were thinking about positioning the win? Going forward, I’d like us to highlight shared ownership when appropriate — it strengthens influence and credibility across the organization.”

3. SBI Method

The SBI approach comes from the Center for Creative Leadership and is one of the cleanest ways to deliver feedback without triggering defensiveness.

S (Situation) - Describe the specific context. When and where did this occur?

B (Behavior) - Describe the observable behavior. Stick to what you saw or heard - not interpretations. Don’t assume you know what the other person was thinking.

I (Impact) - Describe the impact the behavior had on you, the team, or the outcome.

Example 1: In today’s sprint planning meeting (Situation), when the roadmap questions came up, you jumped in quickly and answered most of them before the product managers had a chance to weigh in (Behavior). The impact was that a few team members disengaged, and we may have missed some alternative approaches because the discussion moved forward quickly (Impact).” How did you see that moment? What adjustments might help us get broader input next time?

This feedback ends with inquiry, which keeps it developmental and forward-focused.

Whether the issue is subtle dominance in meetings or a more visible emotional reaction, the structure remains the same.

Example 2: In yesterday’s decision meeting (Situation), after Andy shared his perspective, you raised your voice, left the room abruptly, and closed the door forcefully behind you (Behavior). The impact was that the conversation stopped, Andy felt shut down, the team appeared unsettled, and we were unable to reach a decision (Impact).

By focusing on observable facts and impact — rather than labeling someone as “angry” or “unprofessional” — you keep the conversation grounded in behavior. That makes it easier to address what happened and discuss expectations going forward.

4. Intent v. Impact

Many feedback conversations derail because intent and impact get conflated. When someone feels their character is being questioned, the conversation shifts from growth to self-protection.

Most professionals do not intend to undermine colleagues or silence ideas. Yet even well-meaning actions can create unintended consequences. When feedback implies motive — “You don’t care,” “You’re dismissive,” “You’re controlling” — people defend their identity. When feedback separates intent from impact, it allows both parties to stay focused on outcomes rather than accusations.

The discipline is simple but powerful: acknowledge likely positive intent, then name the observable impact.

For example: “I know your intention in meetings is to move us forward efficiently and keep the discussion focused. When you summarize and redirect before others have finished speaking, the impact is that some team members disengage and hold back ideas. That limits the diversity of thinking we say we value. How can we preserve speed while also ensuring broader input?”

Or, in a more personal moment: “I know it’s not your intent to shut me down, and I believe you value a free exchange of ideas. When you jump in before I’ve finished articulating my thoughts, the impact on me is that I go quiet. I start to feel rushed and question whether I should share unless my ideas are fully formed. I’d like us to find a way to keep discussions efficient while still creating space for contribution. What would you suggest?”

In both examples, intent is respected, impact is clearly articulated, and the path forward is collaborative. By separating motive from outcome, feedback shifts from blame to alignment — and alignment is where meaningful change begins.

As a leader, providing guidance is more than part of your job; it is the right thing to do. When you offer thoughtful feedback, you are investing in someone’s ability to grow. John Stuart Mill captured this idea in On Liberty, “The source of everything respectable in man… is that his errors are corrigible… The whole strength and value of human judgment depending on the one property that it can be set right when it is wrong.” In other words, growth depends on our ability to correct mistakes. Feedback is what makes that correction possible. When you guide someone to improve their work, you don’t just improve performance — you strengthen their capacity to think, judge, and contribute at a higher level.

Quote of the day: “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a [person’s] growth without destroying [their] roots.” – Frank A. Clark

Reflection Question:  What approach do you use in providing feedback to your team? Comment below; we’d love to hear from you.

[The next blog in this series 2/4 will focus on The Art of Receiving Feedback]

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to help them provide effective feedback to their direct reports, teammates, and other stakeholders, contact me to learn more.

Feedback delivery makes all the difference

The Unspoken Power of a Job Half-Done

What if you discovered that the old adage “you should always finish what you have started” is actually not the best advice in all cases?  In fact, stopping something midway could yield some incredible benefits such as causing a surge of creativity.

Ernest Hemingway, a prolific writer who entreated his readers to over 25 classics during his lifetime capitalized on this trick.  One of his favorite productivity techniques would be to stop his writing not at the end of a paragraph, but in the middle of a sentence.  This act created a sense of incompletion that became the driving force to compel him to resume his work the following day with immediate momentum.   

Generally, we like to finish what we have started and when we leave things incomplete, we feel bad about it and are eager to reconcile those feelings. This phenomenon is called the Zeigarnik Effect, which describes the tendency to remember unfinished tasks over finish ones. If we tell ourselves we are done with work for the day and still have incomplete tasks, our mind will eagerly anticipate the moment when we can continue the job with vigor and to a close. 

However, there is one important condition to the Zeigarnik Effect - the undertaking needs to be interesting enough so that it compels a conclusion. If we find the assignment unattractive due to its banality or degree of difficulty, the Zeigarnik Effect ceases to occur.  So, the next time, you are in the middle of your work, try stopping midway and see what direction you take your ideas the following day; you may be surprised with the additional and always-welcomed boost of motivation and ingenuity.

Quote of the day: “Make an empty space in any corner of your mind, and creativity will instantly fill it.” -CEO Dee Hock

Q: What activities in your life do you see this application having the biggest impact? Comment and share with us below; we would love to hear from you!

The Zeigarnik Effect

Start Small, Go Big

How often are you tasked with a hefty assignment or struck with a grand vision, yet the starting point continues to elude you? Maybe, nerves are stalling you and creating an influx of debilitating thoughts of whether or not you will do a good job.  Often, the culprit is just a general lack of direction – not knowing how or where to begin, accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of simply needing to do too much.

 Whatever the reason, all equally harrowing, the key to getting started is simply just that, sit down and begin. 

 Here are some tips that I have used to help me ignite my start:

 1. Break down your idea or project into reasonable bites.  As Mark Twain noted, "the secret to getting ahead is getting started, the secret to getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small, manageable tasks and then starting on the first one."

 2. Ask for help. 90% of the questions you have which are causing you to worry have simple solutions that you begin to unearth once you start asking people.  Having knowledge of how to get something done is empowering and energizes you to take on the task(s) at hand.

 3. If you need to write, take action and begin at any part and with any word.  More often than not, the body of work that oozes out, will stun you – well beyond your initial expectation.

Believe in the power of smalls steps.  Author Margaret Meade did when she proffered, “never doubt that small things could change the world.”

 Q: What’s your first go-to step in completing a project?  Comment and share below.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to create goals, contact me to explore this topic further.

The power of taking small steps

Productivity in a world full of distractions

Distractions can be the kiss of death to our productivity and creativity.  But, if you can manage your disturbances, you can improve your attention and do more “deep work,” a term coined by Professor Cal Newport, which he describes as the act of focusing without distraction on a cognitively demanding task.  When you are in this state of high productivity and performance, some of your best work may be done. He posits that most people can do about four hours of deep work a day.  The good news is that the time does not have to be continuous, instead, it can be broken up into shorter segments.

So, how can we minimize these time-suckers and focus on what matters?

1. Have a better understanding of where your time goes so you can identify the culprits and take action.   In the Effective Executive, Peter Drucker explains how most people think they know how they dedicate their moments but are startled when they learn that they are usually way off.   

2. Avoid checking your email first thing in the morning because you empower others with the right to design your day.  What happens is that when you take a peek, you feel compelled to get through all your emails and respond, but there is no rule that says we get extra life points achieving Inbox Zero.  Instead, designate a block of your time to check email so you can batch the work.  

It’s also important to avoid scanning your email while in your work zone because even one quick glance at your messages could leave you with an unsettling feeling of something requiring your attention. 

3. Do not answer calls or allow yourself to be available during your work block, even if it is a seemingly five-minute distraction.  It is not about the brevity of minutes pulling you away from your work, it is more about the cost associated with task shifting and trying to get back into your optimal work state. One hour of uninterrupted time is worth three hours of interrupted time.

All Work and No Play – For That, We Have Machines

It is highly recommended to give your brain a break after continuous quality work so go ahead and reward yourself with a generous shot of dopamine by doing something you deem entertaining for at least 20 minutes.  Depending on your environment, you may choose to engage in “shallow work,” that could be web surfing with music in the background, organizing your calendar, cleaning, cooking or just about any task that is non-cognitively demanding. 

Ultimately, if we can find ways to limit our distractions and devote more time to important work, we gradually place our greatest potential within reach.  Warren Buffet was asked to define in one word, “what makes you successful?”  His response, focus. 

Q: What’s your favorite strategy to avoid distractions? Comment and share below.

Thought for today: “One way to boost our willpower and focus is to manage our distractions instead of letting them manage us.”-Daniel Goleman, Author.

The path of least distractions is always the one worth taking

How often do you schedule time with yourself to think?

It is so easy to get sucked into the daily grind that instead of focusing on ourselves, we merely react to a never-ending to-do list of requests and demands from others. If that sounds like you, then when do you go on the offensive and carve out space to unleash your mind and prime it for exciting discoveries?  When do you do the necessary long-term planning to prepare for a rapidly changing world?

Every leader should always aim to leave a portion of their time unscheduled.  That slot in the calendar reserved for you allows you to reflect on current undertakings, learn from experiences, and take actions to recover from inevitable mistakes.  It is about iterating on what you already do so you can do something different and even more innovative in the future.  Managers often overlook this recommendation and instead push back with talks of being too busy, however, when you do not take this necessary time, you can’t develop a competitive edge and likely will waste even more time in the future struggling to keep up with changes rather than leading them. 

Here are some ways to build in think time: 

1. Schedule time in your daily calendar.  It can be as short as 3-4 minutes in the morning where you set your intentions in how you want to experience the day, you can set mini reminders along the way to stick to your plans, or simply have that reflection time at the end of the day where you evaluate how your actions from the previous several hours have gotten you closer to your big-picture goals/vision?  Esteemed Management Consultant Peter Drucker insisted, “Managers need to take one hour to think every day.” 

2. Schedule time in your weekly calendar.  Looking at your week ahead, build in 1-3 time bocks for a thinking activity where you are generating new ideas, working on innovation, developing new systems, or trying to solve long-term problems.   Successful people know the value of cultivating both insight and outsight.  LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner schedules two hours a week for thinking time.  By doing this, he gets to be in charge of his day by choosing where he wants his mind to be, instead of being in reactive mode and being controlled by whatever tasks that are set upon him. 

3. Schedule time in your monthly or yearly calendar. Take one longer block once every month or every two months for a 2-hour thinking/reflection session.   To jolt your creativity, you can schedule lectures or classes so you are keeping updated with the information in your field, you can reflect on your readings and think about how you want to apply the insights, you can have coffee dates with friends in your industry and in other fields and see how they are solving problems.  The goal is to have dedicated time for philosophical discussions and inquiries and find the patterns in all the activities you are engaged in. Twice a year, Bill Gates takes a week off to seclude himself so he can think and read.  Taking this amount of time can seem unrealistic for Type A personalities who are addicted to achievement and filling their schedules, but it is only when we can pause and break the cycle of short-term thinking, can we reset and prime ourselves for future possibilities.  Usually, in those rest spaces, can we separate the essential from the trial and know how to make the necessary adjustments to be more proactive about how we want to live our lives and how we want to lead.

Your mind contains infinite ideas so the very act of thinking and planning sorts through the clutter, unlocks your mental powers, and triggers your creativity.  Taking action without thinking can be a prime source of problems.  As Voltaire noted, “No problem can withstand sustained thinking.”

History has kept a long record of great people who have engaged in activities designed for thinking and breakthroughs.  Einstein turned to his violin whenever he was stuck. Woody Allen changed rooms and took multiple showers. Beethoven took hour-long strolls.  And for me, the everyday person, it’s when I run that I feel that my mind ignites interesting ideas.  All in all, these sacred acts remove you from everyday life and primes you for a more receptive state.  When you let your mind be and think, great ideas come to you. 

Quote of the day: “Plan your work and work your plan.” -Napoleon Hill

Q: How much time do you have in your schedule dedicated to “think time”? Where do you do your best thinking?  Comment and share with us below.

As a Leadership Development & Executive Coach, I work with leaders to prioritize their time so they can live a more meaningful life, contact me to learn more.

How often do you dedicate time to yourself to think, be, and wonder?

What are you doing to stand out in your profession?

What if I told you that no matter how good you are at what you do today, your knowledge and skills are destined for obsolesce.   In fact, continuous learning as a minimum requirement is the only guaranteed inoculation against this outcome, and what sets you apart as a leader. 

So, how does one become an expert in your domain? According to Brian Tracy in the book Eat That Frog, he purports that there are three steps to mastery in your field:

1. Set aside an hour daily to read industry-relevant materials.  The typical CEO reads four or five books per month.  According to the Huffington Post, when Warren Buffett was once asked about the key to success, he pointed to a stack of nearby books and said, “I read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest.”  He currently devotes about 80% of each day to reading.

2. Take courses and seminars on the key skills that can help you progress. Does your manager encourage you to go to conferences?  Go!  Does your job pay for an advanced degree? Take it! Even in his twilight years, motivational speaker and author Zig Ziglar remained dedicated to learning and continued growth; it was not uncommon to find him diligently taking notes at professional development conferences.

3. Listen to audio programs during your commute. The average car owner sits behind the wheel 500 to 1,000 hours and the average round trip for NYC jobs is about 55 minutes.  You can turn that dreaded traveling time into learning hour with audible and gain access to a large selection of books.  When you can transform the routine into the riveting, suddenly commuting is not so bad, dare I say, exciting because you get to have dedicated time for your development.

4. Apply your learning. For maximum understanding, be sure to take action on your education. Write about your discoveries so you can gain greater clarity, have conversations about what you are reading so you can integrate the material, or teach/present the new concepts so the information becomes easily retrievable. If you have just finished reading a book on negotiation, what is one technique that you can practice immediately in your social or professional circles? The most profound learning comes in the action.

For tips on learning, check out one of the most popular Coursera classes of all time, “Learning How to Learn.”

Quote of the day: “Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence.” -Abigail Adams

Q: What is one way you stay at the forefront of your profession?  Comment and share below.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

A life of learning is a purposeful one

Do your managers build you up or burn you out?

A study in the Employee Engagement Series led by Kronos Incorporated found that nearly half of HR leaders say employee burnout is responsible for up to 50% of their annual workforce turnover. 

So, where does this burnout originate from? It can be internal as some people are natural workplace givers; they do favors for others and run out of energy to complete their work.  It can also be external as those who have a proven track record of competency and success end up getting even more work piled on to them by their superiors.  We don’t all have the extra time luxury to follow Napoleon’s oft-repeated advice, “when you want something done right, do it yourself.”  Therefore, a common action for managers to take in lieu of doing it themselves is to delegate work to the people they trust the most, even if their plate is at capacity.

In the book Give and Take, Adam Grant argues that while Givers often sacrifice themselves, they make their organizations better.  The more that people are sharing their knowledge and mentoring, the better their organization performs on every metric - higher profits, customer satisfaction, and employee retention.

Knowing the value Givers can deliver, here are some things an organization can do to protect their best:

1. Work with the Giver to set personal boundaries by specifying the times their help is available.  Adam Rifkin, a successful serial tech entrepreneur, spends a tremendous amount of time helping other people with his Five-Minute Favor, a small way to add big value to people’s lives.  It can be as simple as making an introduction between two people who could benefit from knowing each other, sharing his knowledge, giving feedback, or recognizing somebody’s work that has gone unnoticed.  Helping does not have to always be an all-encompassing affair.

2. Build a culture where Givers succeed.  A position can be carved out, such as Chief Helping Officer or Giver in Charge whose sole job is to lend assistance.  This creates a culture where help-seeking is the norm, which can benefit the many who prefer to avoid asking for help since they are worried they will be perceived as incompetent or as a burden to others.

3. As a manager, reward your givers with the gift of less so they can have the time to be ambitious in pursuing their own goals, while also assisting others.

Success is about helping others, so let’s help others help.

Quote of the day: "Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you." -Misty Copeland

Q: What other things can managers do to energize the Givers in your organization? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

The outdated practice of micromanaging

Do your goals reflect your values?

The best goals to have are the ones that are congruent with your values.  Dale Carnegie wrote, “Tell me what gives a person his greatest feeling of importance and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life.”

Values are statements about the way we want to live in the world and the kind of people we want to be, while goals are objectives we want to achieve.  Combine the two and VOILA….productivity magic.

One of my values-based goals is to read 5 books a month because learning and development are crucial for me.  For some, this goal could be viewed as a chore, for me, it is a euphoric feeling because it aligns with who I am.

Here are some helpful tips for completing your values-based goals:

1. Identify a value and connect it to a goal. Think about something you are actively trying to improve on and link it to a key value.

2. Write it down.  Research from the University of California shows that people are 42% more likely to stick to their goals if they write them down. Having them etched in ink means that you get to see them as opposed to getting distracted by other things and forgetting about them.

3. Tell a friend.  According to Psychology Professor Dr. Gail Matthews, individuals who wrote their goals and sent their progress reports to their friends were 76% more likely to achieve them.  The accountability piece keeps you on track.

4. The night before you go to bed, write down one small thing you could do tomorrow to work towards your goal.  Your mind will be processing as you sleep and you will wake up eager to get started and achieve.

Quote of the day: “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” -Roy E. Disney

Q: What is one value-based goal that you have?  Comment and share below.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to create values-based goals, contact me to explore this topic further.

The best goals are the ones connected to your values, purpose, and vision

The upside of being a moderate procrastinator

When is the right time to get started on a project? Procrastinators would say an hour before the deadline, while pre-scrastinators, people who have the inclination to complete tasks quickly and in advance for the sake of getting things done sooner rather than later, would say, right when you get it.

In the book Originals, Professor Adam Grant cites a research study conducted by one of his students who surveyed managers to find out how innovative their employees were.  Astoundingly, the results showed that the ones who rushed in and did everything early were less creative, the same went for the chronic procrastinators who were unable to contribute any novel ideas at the 11th hour.

The sweet spot was moderate procrastinators, those who fused both approaches were found to be 16% more creative. 

Here is how it works:

When you get a task, start working on your first draft, jot down preliminary ideas and put it away.  While you are doing other things, your mind is still working on it and remains in capture mode. When you resume activity, you can deposit interesting new ideas and take unexpected leaps in your work.

Did you know that Leonardo Da Vinci, a famous procrastinator has more unfinished works of arts than finished ones?  He toiled on and off for 16 years with the Mona Lisa, each time, adding interesting touches to his masterpiece.  Although Martin Luther King Jr. had a draft of his famous March on Washington speech written in advance, he was putting last-minute touches on it up to 3 am the previous night.  Even moments before going on stage, he was scribbling additional notes.  In fact, his famous “I have a dream” utterance was not in his original script.

Next time you are working on something, try being quick to start and slow to finish because you leave yourself open to the widest array of ideas and allow for creativity boosts.

Quote of the day: “You call it procrastination, I call it thinking”  - Aaron Sorkin, Executive Producer.

Q: What tasks are you struggling to complete now?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their productivity skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

The surprising benefits of being a moderate procrastinator

What’s your superpower?

In the book StrengthsFinder 2.0, Tom Rath found that out of a poll of more than 1,000 people, not one was emotionally engaged in their work when they were not focused on their strengths. In contrast, people who have the opportunity to hone in on their assets are 6 times more likely to be engaged in their job and 3 times more likely to have a better quality of life.

When you’re not in the strengths zone, you dread going to work, have more negative than positive interactions, treat your customers poorly, tell your friends what a miserable company you work for, achieve less on a daily basis, and have fewer positive and creative moments.

How come people are not living in accordance with their best gifts? Well, in some cases, they simply may not be aware of them.  Esteemed Management Consultant Peter Drucker asserts, “Most people think they know what they’re good at.  They are usually wrong. And yet a person can perform only from strength.” 

Are you on a journey to discovering your strengths?  Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Ask yourself, “what do I enjoy?” Write down a list of at least 10 things.  Even if you only managed to think of two, keep writing, you will be surprised by what you unearth.  Usually, your interests are connected to your strengths.

2. Seek out valuable resources: 

·      I’ve personally found books like Rath’s Strengthsfinder 2.0 particularly useful for learning about different types of strengths and abilities that weren’t even on my radar.  Like, who would have thought that being an arranger is actually a strength?

·      Take a self-assessment, such as the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) or SWOT Analysis, which will help you to better understand your energy level and capabilities.

3. Ask your friends or coworkers to list your strengths.  Having that outside perspective can lead to a breakthrough insight.

4. List your weaknesses. What are you not good at? What do you dislike? This is helpful for comparison purposes.

Knowing our strengths provides a deep well of energy and passion on which to draw. When we focus on our superpowers, we operate from a place of confidence, complete tasks quicker and with precision, and are more likely to be engaged at work and happier.

Quote of the day: "What makes you different or weird, that's your strength." -Meryl Streep

Q: What are you good at doing outside of work?  Comment below and share with us.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to maximize their strengths, contact me to explore this topic further.

We all have superpowers, some that we may not even be aware of.

Only 20% of what you do today will move the needle

The 80/20 rule goes like this, 20% of your activities will account for 80% of your results.

For companies, about 20% of sales reps will generate 80% of the overall business. 20% of customers account for 80% of overall profits.

For individuals, if you have ten items to accomplish in a day, it turns out that two of those items will be worth more than the other eight items combined. 

Handling every task that gets thrown your way is impossible so how can you use the 80% rule to gain more time in your life? Determine what is the most important and either delegate the rest or simply let it go.

Bestselling Author Brian Tracy recommends the way to apply the 80/20 rule or Pareto Principle to goal setting is to ask yourself: If you could only accomplish one of the goals on your list today, which one goal would have the greatest positive impact on your life? 

You should also start with the hardest item first because it will have the biggest payoff as it will provide the momentum you need to tackle anything else.  

Quote of the day: “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” - Dale Carnegie

Q: What’s your best method for focusing on what’s vitally important? Comment below and share with us.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to improve their prioritization and focus skills; contact me to explore this topic further.

The Pareto Principle

Do you suffer from the 18-second syndrome?

Harvard Professor and Physician Jerome Groopman in How Doctors Think argues that the key to collecting useful information and solving the patient’s health puzzle is to let the patient say his or her piece.  Yet, that is not happening;  the average doctor interrupts after 18 seconds!  Feeling like an expert and thinking the problem is identifiable, the doctor doles out a prescription and is ready for the next patient, but the odds are, Doc Know-It-All likely has not scoped out the problem.

The more you know, the harder it is to say less, but the best of the best are extraordinary listeners. With nods and nudges, they elicit facts, observations, opinions, and even confessions, if one needed to be had. 

Key steps to being a more effective listener, according to renowned author Tom Peters:

1. Own up to the fact that you might be an 18-second interrupter. If you do not tackle the problem head-on, it will persist. Be open to when others give you feedback that you may have a proclivity to interrupt.

2. Take action to change the habit. 
-Be patient, let the other person stumble to clarity without interruption.
-Don’t finish the other person’s sentences.
-Be exhausted after your encounter, if you are not, you may not have been truly listening.

Quote of the day: “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

Q: What’s your favorite way to listen or to be listened to?  Comment below and share with us.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their listening skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

Stop talking, start listening