Empowering Managers to cultivate Engagement: Practical Strategies to Inspire Your team (Engagement Series 3/4)

Engagement isn’t just a perk - it’s a powerful driver of productivity, innovation, and employee satisfaction. At the heart of an engaged workforce are effective managers who inspire, guide, and connect with their teams. When managers focus on purpose, growth, and open communication, they lay the foundation for a workplace where employees feel valued and motivated. Here are key strategies for managers to build a culture of engagement.

The Benefits of Engagement.

• Increased Productivity and Performance: Engaged employees are eager to tackle their tasks and feel energized by their work, even during long hours. They actively seek ways to improve and contribute fresh ideas.

• Enhanced Creative Problem Solving: Engaged employees are more innovative and resilient when faced with challenges, contributing to continuous improvement.

• Positive Mental Health: Engagement fosters a sense of purpose and satisfaction, which in turn supports mental well-being.

Strategies for Managers

1. Inspire Meaningful Work through Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery.  Managers have the unique ability to help employees find meaning in their work. By focusing on purpose, autonomy, and mastery, 3 core motivators outlined in Daniel Pink’s Drive, managers can create a work environment that fosters pride, ownership, and growth:

• Purpose: Help employees see how their roles contribute to a larger mission. When people understand their impact, they feel proud and motivated.

• Autonomy: Grant employees the freedom to approach tasks in ways that suit them, empowering them to take ownership of their work.

• Mastery: Encourage skill development to enable employees to continue growing and gaining confidence. Employees who feel they’re improving are naturally more engaged.

When these motivators align, employees often experience flow—a state of deep focus and high productivity that leads to peak creativity and satisfaction. Managers who create conditions for flow help elevate team engagement to new levels.

2. Invest in Career Development and Growth Opportunities.  Career development is a critical component of employee engagement, as people want to see a future for themselves within the organization. Managers can support this by creating clear, attainable paths for growth:

• Career Frameworks: Establish transparent career frameworks and competency models that outline the requirements for progression.  This clarity keeps employees motivated by showing them how they can advance. They can develop growth plans based on the competency frameworks and check in with their managers.

• Regular Feedback: Frequent, constructive feedback helps employees understand their progress and areas for improvement. As Brené Brown emphasizes, consistent feedback builds trust and supports growth, giving employees the guidance they need to succeed.

• Stretch Assignments.  When vertical promotions are unavailable, managers can assign new projects to help employees develop skills and gain fresh perspectives.

• Learning and Development Opportunities: Invest in training, micro-credentials, and coaching to help employees build new skills and deepen their expertise. Provide access to curated learning paths, courses, or mentoring aligned with their goals. When employees see that the organization supports their growth, they’re more likely to stay engaged and committed.

• Share appreciation and intent. Don’t wait until someone is on their way out to acknowledge their value. Let high performers know they’re seen, appreciated, and part of future plans. A simple, genuine conversation about their impact and your investment in their growth can go a long way in reinforcing their commitment to stay.

3. Align Individual Goals with the Company’s Mission and Purpose.  Employees are more engaged when they feel part of a greater mission. Managers who consistently connect employees’ roles with the organization’s broader purpose inspire lasting motivation:

• Communicate Impact: Regularly share stories about how the team’s work benefits clients or the community. This reinforces the value of each person’s contributions.

• Highlight Contributions: Show employees how their unique strengths and efforts directly support the company’s goals. This fosters a sense of belonging and purpose.

4. Create a Positive Work Environment. Managers can build this environment by promoting connection, communication, and inclusivity.

4A. Foster Good Relationships and Belonging. Belonging is a fundamental human need. As Patrick Lencioni and Marcus Buckingham point out, strong workplace relationships are essential to job satisfaction and engagement. Gallup research shows that having even one good friend at work can significantly improve an employee’s experience. Companies that prioritize team-building activities and cultivate a culture of respect and inclusion help employees feel connected, which is a powerful motivator.

4B. Promote Open and Effective Communication. Open communication builds trust and helps employees feel valued. Some managers use team newsletters or simple Friday emails to foster connection. For example, the newsletter or email could include two sections: one for sharing personal stories (related to travel, content, or restaurant recommendations or recent fun experiences) and another for highlighting key work updates. One of my clients sends a Friday email to her team capturing the good work from the week before and providing a preview for the week ahead and then offers a few highlights.  This approach fosters both personal connection and clarity on work expectations, while also giving employees the chance to celebrate each other's achievements.

4C. Provide Multiple Ways to Connect. Create opportunities for employees to connect around shared interests. For instance, setting up team channels for topics like books, pets, or travel can foster camaraderie. Regular 30-minute drop-in meetings where employees can ask leaders anything can also help foster transparency and connection. Leaders can also crowdsource engagement ideas from employees, creating a more inclusive and responsive culture.

Building a culture of engagement requires intentional, purpose-driven management at all levels. When managers prioritize meaningful work, career growth, open communication, and a positive environment, they cultivate a workforce that is motivated, productive, and aligned with the organization’s goals. Ultimately, empowered managers are the backbone of a thriving, engaged team, driving success for both individuals and the organization. 

Quote of the day. "Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge." — Simon Sinek

Question. How can you, as a manager, create a work environment that makes each team member feel valued, motivated, and connected to a larger purpose?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series will focus on engaging your people in a down market. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to engage their teams, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Do You Engage Your Team?

Stay Interviews: A Proactive Approach to Retaining Top Talent (Engagement Series 2/4)

To retain top talent, it's helpful to understand why employees choose to stay. Rather than waiting for exit interviews to uncover potential issues, stay interviews provide proactive insights, helping managers strengthen engagement and address concerns before they escalate. By asking the right questions, organizations can foster a more motivated and loyal workforce, aligning employee satisfaction with long-term retention goals. 

Key Stay Interview Questions

The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) offers a set of guiding questions that help get to the heart of what employees need to stay engaged and satisfied.

1. What do you look forward to each day when you come to work?  This question reveals the day-to-day aspects of the job that keep employees engaged, including relationships with colleagues and supervisors which is a big indicator of happiness.  Some follow up questions to ask include:

·      Can you give me an example?

·      Who do you enjoy working with the most? 

2. What are you learning here, and what do you want to learn? This question helps identify development interests and career aspirations.  Some employees are eager to advance, others enjoy learning new skills, and some value stability.  Probing questions might include:

·      Are there other roles here that interest you?

·      What skills would help you succeed in those roles? 

3. Why do you stay here? This question helps managers understand core motivations, allowing them to reinforce positive aspects of the employee experience.  Useful follow-up questions include:

·      Why is that particularly important to you?

·      Is that the only reason you stay or are there others? Or if you could pinpoint one reason for staying, what would it be?

4. When is the last time you thought about leaving us, and what prompted it?  Addressing this question directly provides valuable insight into potential concerns. This helps leaders take proactive steps to prevent future turnover. Follow-up questions include:

·      What can I do to improve that situation for you?

·      On a scale of 1-10, how important is that issue for you now?  

5. What can I do to make your job better for you?  This question encourages open dialogue about potential improvements, strengthening the employee-manager relationship.  Some probing questions include:

·      Do I recognize your work often enough?

·      What are the 2 ways I can be a better manager for you? 

Stay interviews show employees they are valued and their insights matter, leading to a more fulfilling work environment. This approach not only improves retention but also builds a motivated and loyal workforce. 

Quote: “The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity.” — Tom Peters

Question. How can you use stay interviews to uncover what truly motivates your top performers and strengthen their commitment to your organization?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog (3/4) in this series will focus on the role of managers in engagement.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to engage their teams, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you conduct stay interviews?

Retaining Top Performers: Strategies to Keep Your Best Talent Thriving (Engagement Series 1/4)

In today’s competitive landscape, retaining top performers is essential for sustained success. Talented employees bring unique skills and perspectives that can set a company apart. However, keeping these individuals engaged and committed requires more than just attractive compensation; it demands a carefully designed, engaging experience.

The Benefits of Retaining Top Talent:

·       Higher Productivity and Innovation: Engaged top performers bring creative ideas and excel in problem-solving, which boosts the overall performance of the team.

·       Improved Team Dynamics: When top performers stay, they inspire and mentor others, helping to raise the performance of the whole team.

·       Stronger Organizational Reputation: A culture that values and retains talent attracts more high performers, creating a cycle of continuous improvement and positive reputation in the industry.

  ·  Sustained Competitive Advantage: Top talent often includes hyper-skilled individuals who build proprietary products, systems, or processes that competitors can’t easily replicate, which gives your organization a strategic edge and keeps it ahead of the market.

Here are strategic approaches to help retain top talent:

1. Define Ownership of the Employee Experience.  Jim Collins, in Good to Great, underscores that while success begins with the right people, it’s sustained through structured support. In many organizations, HR manages hiring, development, and compensation, but a lack of coordination with other departments can lead to a disjointed employee experience. For instance, a customer-focused change in one department might inadvertently create extra steps that frustrate employees. To prevent these issues, companies should designate a team or role to oversee the employee experience, similar to customer experience mapping. By mapping "employee journeys," organizations can proactively identify and address pain points, boosting satisfaction and retention.

2. Use Surveys to Capture the Employee Voice. Surveys are invaluable for gathering employee insights. While employees may not have the final say, focusing on key themes from their feedback and openly addressing them shows that their input matters and leads to positive, visible changes. Leaders detached from daily operations risk overlooking critical issues. For example, a manufacturing company initially attributed lifting injuries to improper technique, but after listening, employees expressed a need for better equipment. By providing support tools, the company improved productivity and showed commitment to employee well-being. Small actions like these foster a workplace where employees feel genuinely heard and valued.

3. Create Opportunities for Growth.  Career progression does not always mean a promotion, especially in flatter organizations. Providing pathways for both vertical and horizontal growth can keep top talent engaged.

• Encourage Internal Mobility: Offer rotational assignments or cross-functional projects to help employees expand their skills and perspectives.

• Invest in Skill Development: Collaborate on learning plans aligned with future roles and industry trends to help employees build on their strengths.

Horizontal growth prevents stagnation and equips employees with versatile skills that benefit both their career paths and the organization’s adaptability.

4. Establish Recognition Programs.  Recognition can be a powerful retention tool, and it’s often more impactful than compensation alone. Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, argues that appreciation and acknowledgment can strengthen team bonds and individual engagement. Top performers need to know their efforts are valued by leadership and peers alike.  Some ways to recognize and retain top talent:

• Regular Peer and Manager Recognition: Create opportunities for team members to acknowledge each other’s contributions. Peer recognition is especially effective because it reinforces a supportive, collaborative culture.

• Spot Bonuses and Other Incentives: While financial rewards aren’t the only form of recognition, occasional spot bonuses or gifts can reinforce that employees’ contributions are valued.

• Visible Acknowledgment from Leadership: A simple shoutout from senior leadership, especially in a public setting, can have a lasting impact on an employee’s engagement and sense of belonging.

5. Offer Flexibility and Autonomy to Foster Ownership. Offering autonomy and flexibility fosters a sense of ownership, which is particularly important to top performers who value control over their work. Autonomy doesn’t just mean flexible hours; it can also mean letting employees decide the best ways to complete their tasks. 

6. Offer Sabbaticals and Recharge Opportunities.  For high performers who value time as much as titles, offering structured time off can be a powerful retention strategy. Sabbaticals, reduced-hour rotations, or extended breaks can help employees recharge, refocus, and return more committed than ever.  One of my nonprofit executive clients offers a “rotation week” benefit: employees work a standard 40-hour week for three weeks, but during the fourth week, they reduce their hours—working 30 minutes less Monday through Thursday and taking Friday off. This intentional downtime supports performance while helping top talent feel cared for and reenergized. Larger companies are implementing similar ideas. For example, Hilton offers eligible long-term team members a four-week paid sabbatical after 10 years of service, allowing them to pursue personal passions, volunteer, or simply rest—no strings attached. Programs like these send a strong message that the company values not just performance, but people. When high performers know they can grow and rest within your organization, they’re far more likely to stay for the long term

Retaining top performers is an ongoing process that requires intentional effort, alignment of personal and organizational goals, and a commitment to fostering an environment of trust and growth. By incorporating strategies such as stay interviews, development opportunities, and recognition programs, companies can build a culture that not only retains top talent but also enables them to thrive.

Quote of the day: “Train people well enough so they can leave. Treat them well enough, so they don’t want to.” — Sir Richard Branson

Question of the day. What steps can you take today to ensure your top talent feels valued, engaged, and excited to stay with your organization?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 2/4 will focus on conducting stay interviews to help with retention.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to engage their teams, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you retain top talent?

Managing Managers: The Leadership Leap Few Talk About (Leadership Series 7/7)

Moving from managing individual contributors to managing managers is one of the steepest transitions in leadership. Suddenly, you’re not only accountable for the work - you’re accountable for the people accountable for the work. It’s leverage at its highest form. And while it can be deeply rewarding, it’s also one of the most misunderstood and mishandled steps in a leader’s career.

Too many leaders assume that managing managers means more power or less hands-on work. In reality, it requires a mindset shift: from controlling outcomes yourself to creating the conditions where managers - and their teams -can thrive.

What Makes Managing Managers Different

When you manage individuals, your focus is clear: coach, guide, and evaluate their performance. When you manage managers, the game changes in three important ways:

1. You lose the illusion of control. You will not know every detail of what’s happening, and you shouldn’t. Your job shifts from direct oversight to trusting processes and relationships.

2. Your leverage multiplies. The ripple effect of your decisions continues to grow. How you guide managers shapes how they, in turn, guide dozens - sometimes hundreds - of others.

3. Relationships matter more than goals. Goals, metrics, and OKRs only work when the manager - employee relationship is strong. As Amy Gallo writes in Harvard Business Review, managers of managers must “pay attention not just to business outcomes, but to the quality of relationships their managers build.” Put simply: weak relationships undermine performance far faster than unclear goals ever will.

The Common Pitfalls 

·       Acting like a “super-manager.” Hovering over your managers and redoing their work.

·       Avoiding the role. Retreating into functional expertise because “managing managers” feels abstract.

·       Ignoring management as a skill. Hiring managers based only on technical success, not on their ability to build trust, hold accountability, and develop people.

·       Letting power concentrate. Allowing one manager to hold sole authority over promotions, hiring, or firing can erode fairness and trust.

What Great Managers of Managers Do:

Managing managers isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about shaping the ecosystem in which managers and teams can thrive. The best leaders consistently do five things:

1. Make Management Part of the Job. Be explicit: building strong relationships, holding one-on-ones, and coaching are not optional. They’re core responsibilities.

2. Set Clear, Transparent Goals. Tools like OKRs are powerful, but only if they’re built with managers, not for them. Research from Stanford professor Nick Bloom shows that goal-setting systems succeed when employees help create them — not when they’re imposed from the top. Co-creating goals builds ownership, alignment, and the commitment needed to deliver on them.

3. Build Systems, Not Bottlenecks. Ensure no manager has unilateral control over hiring, promotions, or pay. Systems should empower fairness and transparency.

4. Coach for Leverage. Help managers not just with their business goals but with their management practices. Ask: How are you building trust? How are you holding people accountable?

5. Model Feedback and Openness. Don’t just solicit feedback privately — show publicly how you respond to criticism. It sets the tone for how managers handle feedback with their teams.

A Mindset Shift for Leaders

Managing managers is less about control and more about influence. Less about doing and more about designing. Less about your personal expertise and more about creating conditions where others can do their best work.

It’s a paradox: you are responsible without always being in control. That can feel uncomfortable - but it’s also where leadership becomes its most powerful.

The quality of a company’s culture often rests on the quality of its middle managers. As a leader of managers, your job is to love them, support them, and set them up to succeed. Because when managers flourish, their teams flourish. And when their teams flourish, the business thrives.

Reflection Question: If you’re managing managers today, where do you spend more time - diving into details or developing the people leading those details? How might a shift in focus change your impact? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you.

Quote of the Day: “Management is, above all, a practice where art, science, and craft meet.” – Henry Mintzberg

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills and navigate tricky situations, contact me.

How do you manage managers?

Why Accountability Matters And Why It Fails (Accountability Series 1/3)

We all want to work in an environment where people deliver on their commitments.  In fact, the presence of accountability is a key reason why companies have a high belonging score.  When an organization stands for a noble purpose, has a compelling mission and vision, and noteworthy values, it is important for leaders to create a culture of accountability where people hold themselves and each other responsible for delivering on these promises.

Accountability can often get a bad rap.  Traditional accountability might have been viewed as more punitive; when people did not hit their targets, there were consequences.   This often conjures up feelings of blame, shame, and guilt which triggered them to shut down and feel discouraged.  While accountability can be a little bit of an uncomfortable process at times, when it is done right, it looks more like a supportive rather than a disciplinary process and can be a morale booster.  Founder & CEO Peter Bregman says, “Accountability is not simply taking the blame when something goes wrong.  It’s not a confession; it is about delivering on a commitment.  It’s a responsibility to an outcome, not just a set of tasks.  It’s taking the initiative with thoughtful, strategic follow-through.”  People can learn to love accountability when it is about helping to achieve better results, improve their performance, and get recognition for their tremendous efforts.

Accountability is necessary at all levels of the organization.  Executives at the top of the org chart cannot be accountable unless the people who report to them also follow through on their commitments.  Leaders play an essential role in inspiring others to advance the organizational goals without micromanaging or using a pure command-and-control approach since it is an ineffective relic that does not promote people’s greatest work.  The best accountability can address the WHAT and WHY of the work by providing a framework with expectations, boundaries, and consequences. It can also handle the HOW by granting autonomy to people to pursue what they think is best to achieve the agreed-upon results. For example, a person should know what exactly they are building and why they are building it through co-creating the broad strokes with their leaders but can make numerous mini decisions in executing the work.

Some of the best managers support, mentor, and coach people for self-accountability; they are interested in providing maximum effort and engagement to achieve desired results, are receptive to feedback and improvement, and remain resourceful as they aim to achieve solutions.  Even more than keeping commitments, self-accountability is a considerable driver of happiness and engagement.  In Dan Harris’s 10% Happier, he explains how well-being and happiness are correlated to the level of accountability people take for their lives; it is a prime motivator for their evolution.

Why Accountability Fails:

Research shows that many managers, even senior ones, are surprisingly weak in this area.  According to one study in the Harvard Business Review, 46% of high-level managers were rated poorly on the measure "holds people accountable for when they don't deliver."  Data offered by Tom Starner in HR Dive shows that 82% of managers acknowledge they have limited to no ability to hold others accountable successfully and 91% of employees would say that effectively holding others accountable is one of their company’s top leadership-development needs. 

It’s not working from an employee perspective either.  Gallup found that only 14% of employees feel their performance is managed in a way that motivates them, 26% get feedback less than once per year, 21% feel their performance metrics are within their control, and 40% feel as if their manager holds them accountable for goals they set.  

Let’s explore the top reasons for the lack of accountability:

1. Organizational challenges.  A lack of accountability can sometimes be unintentional if it results from underlying issues, such as unclear roles and responsibilities, limited resources, poor strategy, or unrealistic goals.  This is why some leaders report not knowing exactly how to get people to be more accountable for results if they have a lack of organizational clarity or if the goalpost is constantly shifting.

2. Leadership challenges.  Before pointing fingers elsewhere, you want to check in with yourself to ensure you are not part of the problem.  Have you set the person up for success?  Have you defined clear goals and provided an accountability plan from the beginning of who will do what by when?  Have you given feedback along the way and monitored metrics?  Have you addressed issues and not let them balloon by ignoring them?  If the answer is no to these questions, it will be hard to hold people accountable when some of the responsibility may lie with you.

3. System Changes.  Leaders sometimes find system changes impacting accountability.  Maybe the norm was to grant leniency and look the other way on small things.  Now, if the message is to impose stricter standards, your direct reports could be dismayed if you do not communicate the recalibrated expectations.  How could they be rated a 3 / 5 when their whole career, they have been a 4 or at the top?  They may wonder if they are suddenly a 3 because only a certain amount of 4s can be granted.   These are painful conclusions that the person can draw about themselves and their boss, so a manager may be nervous about turning the dial up on accountability if they do not have good reasoning behind the system changes and how they will improve the culture.

Most companies would admit that they have an accountability problem.  Leaders in particular struggle with it because there are underlying organizational issues or a lack of confidence and experience in their leadership.  Accountability does not have to be complicated; it can be a positive and productive experience that builds morale and excitement and contributes to an incredible culture when it is done right.

Quotes of the day: "Understanding the true meaning of accountability makes us strong and enables us to learn" -Sameh Elsayed

"On good teams, coaches hold players accountable, on great teams players hold players accountable." ― Joe Dumars

Q: What is your biggest challenge when it comes to accountability?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 2/3 will focus on setting up a system for accountability] 

As a Leadership and Executive Coach, I partner with others to help with all kinds of accountability systems, contact me to learn more.

How do you maintain a culture of accountability that inspires people’s best?

How to Fire the Humane Way (Firing Series 3/3)

The prospect of firing someone you’ve worked with for years can be daunting, but you have decided that it is the last step in what was a fair and transparent process where all other options failed.  You are left with the best choice to elevate your team’s needs over any one individual.

How do you have the termination talk?  Here are some steps to consider: 

1. Check with Human Resources.  Before you schedule the conversation, Management Consultant Dick Grote suggests sharing your plans with human resources to see if there are any additional considerations.  They can offer a fuller picture of the employee’s extenuating circumstances.  Maybe their pension vests on Wednesday, so firing on Tuesday can be suspect, or you find out that their wife is starting cancer treatments, so firing on the same day can especially sting.  HR should tell you if you have all the proper documentation and if there are other things you need to do to go about the process fairly and professionally.  They can answer any questions you might have.  Since you know the situation best, if you think it would be helpful for an HR rep to attend the meeting to help with questions or unusual reactions, you can make that call, but it should be done in the spirit of support and not a show of force.

2. Don’t delay.  This is one of the hardest things you might have to do as a manager, but you must not let your agony delay the conversation.  Prolonging their employment when they do not gel properly with the core values and culture is unfair to them and can be very expensive and damaging to the company.  When you choose not to fire someone, it ruins the integrity of the organization.  “Managers rarely regret acting too quickly on a termination, but they have regretted waiting too long,” says Grote.  If you’re still having trouble mustering the courage to act, think about your team, which may be picking up that extra slack and working longer hours to cover the poor performance.  Once the decision has been made to pull the plug, do not wallow in the misguided hope that somehow things may still work out. They hardly do. Grote says, “Remember: It’s not the people you fire who make your life miserable. It’s the ones you don’t.”

3. Choose your timing.  Doing it early in the day and week may encourage them to find another job and reduce the chances that they will spend the weekend moping in a black hole.  Choosing Friday after­noon, on the other hand, often creates the minimum amount of disruption to the rest of the staff.    Whatever you decide, make it logical and compassionate for those involved.

4. Do it in person.  It should come from the manager, a familiar face who had previous conversations about the potential ramifications if things did not change so there is no surprise.  It should go without saying, but do not send an email or text.  If the person is in a different city or working remotely and cannot do it in person, a video call can suffice.

5. Be clear and concise. The words you use to terminate a team member should be simple and to the point.  There is no reason to sugarcoat a termination; take the rip-the-band-aid off approach by skipping the excessive small talk and leading with the headline.  Consultant Jodi Glickman suggests beginning by saying, “I have some bad news.  Today is your last day here.” Then be transparent and state the reason for termination in one or two simple sentences.  “We’ve let you go because you didn’t meet your sales targets” or “You’ve not been a good cultural fit, e.g., missing deadlines in a fast-moving culture.” Then, tell them directly they are terminated.  It’s essential to use the past tense because it “precludes arguments about second chances,” says Grote. “The plug has been pulled.”  You can also say, “Last month’s report indicated that your department still has the lowest quality index. We have decided that a change must be made, and as of today, your employment has been terminated.”  It is important not to waffle or be ambiguous because being clear is kind.  While both examples point to termination happening immediately, I think it is always helpful to give the person enough notice to transition.

6. Be compassionate.  When you have decided the right thing to do is dismiss a team member, you want to make the dreaded process go as smoothly as possible, both for you and the person you are letting go.  

Dick Grote says, “Even when the business justification is clear, you’re sitting down and telling someone that [they] are no longer getting a paycheck and that when [they] wake up in the morning, [they] have no place to go. That’s tough.”  Very few people are eager to put themselves in situations of discomfort as keeping somebody accountable does not feel good, but it is an eventual gift.  If you feel guilty, you should know that you are keeping them from another job where they can be happier and thrive.  Thinking about how uncomfortable you are in having the conversation is selfish, you must keep in mind what’s best for the company, the teammates moving forward, and the ones being terminated.

Be sure to have the conversation in a humane and dignified way by doing it behind closed doors.   It is essential always to be respectful and compassionate not only because it is the right thing to do but also because it helps with morale.  John Stieger, CMO of Wilke Global “Anyone with empathy can at least understand how losing a job will impact a spouse, children, and others who are blameless,” he says.  How you treat people on their way out the door does not go unnoticed by the rest of the organization.”  When terminations are well justified and professionally executed, the rest of the workgroup realizes that this is an excellent place to work.   

7. Stay in the room and be prepared to answer questions.  While some experts contend that you do not need to say anything more or even remain in the room after the initial pronouncement, Grote vehemently disagrees. “Leadership demands compassion,” he says. “You were the agent of a terrible thing that has just happened in this person’s life.  Don’t run away, and don’t force HR to pick up the pieces.  You should be prepared to speak as needed and answer questions as they come up.”

 Before the meeting, you need to be well versed on practical matters or allow HR to handle questions relating to the last day of work, the last paycheck, the details of the severance agreement, the process of collecting unemployment benefits and health insurance, and what happens to their benefits and unused vacation time.  Of course, there may be issues you and HR have not considered.  In that case, you can let them know that you will get back to them shortly once you have the answer.  They should know the next steps.

8. Be prepared for emotion but keep yours in check.  Some people take the news in stride, while others might go through various emotions such as shock, grief, and anger.  Be prepared to listen and support in the best way you can.

9. Offer additional support if you would like.  If you genuinely believe the person has talent that could be useful elsewhere and are being let go for non-ethical or performance issues, offer to help with their transition so it is as seamless as possible.  Can you give them a long lead time to find a new job?  Can you assign them a Career/Transition Coach to support their next steps of polishing their resume and getting clarity on their next position?  Would you be willing to serve as a reference or write a testimonial?  How about making a LinkedIn introduction to a team where you think they would be valued?  Can you reassure them that the lines of communication will be open and that they can contact you for support?

10. Conduct an exit interview.  Exit interviews are a way for employees to be heard and state their case for why they are leaving.  They can offer valuable feedback on improvements since they may not hold back with their candid remarks, and you can use that information to plug any holes for improvement.  When possible, you should share their contributions and how they positively impacted the organization to feel proud of the time they spent.  Not all firings will be as amicable, but no need to burn bridges, ending on a high note is always the way to go.  Be sure to thank the person for their service and wish them well.

11. Talk to your team & focus on the future.  Gathering the colleagues affected by the termination to address the matter and offer a straightforward message, no need to reveal the reasons behind the decision due to confidentiality, but if it is probable that your team already knows.  The firing likely presents short-term challenges for your team so ensure them how it will be much better in the long run.  Share your strategy on managing the workload while you look for a replacement and are open to their suggestions to minimize the impact on them and the business.

Deciding to fire is never an easy option but you should not delay just because it is uncomfortable for you.  That would be selfish and unfair to the person who is not a right fit because you keep them from moving on to better things.  It is also not fair to the other team members who may be overworking to compensate or to the organization if the business needs are being overlooked.  There is a way to fire with compassion, choose it and you will sleep better.

Quote of the day: “The day that firing becomes easy is the day to fire yourself.” -Tom Peters

Q:  What’s your best tip for successfully firing somebody with compassion?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to think through compassionate plans to dismiss their employees when they must, contact me to learn more.

Using compassion in saying goodbye

Choose to Double Down on Support (Firing Series 2/3)

Deciding to fire can be a tough choice.  In the last blog, we explored the reasons to let an employee go, this blog will focus on another option, which is to support your teammate rather than letting them go. 

Reasons to support:

If an employee is not working out, instead of rushing to release that individual, you may want to closely examine the reasons.  Choosing to support somebody by providing guidance for improvement, switching roles to better match their skillset with the work requirements, or changing teams could be the better decision.

Here are some common reasons why you would choose to support:

1. You were unclear in the hiring process.  If you did not articulate the job requirements and if you did not train the person adequately in the onboarding process where they are set up for success and feel safe to contribute fully, you should not let them go because you are responsible for the mismatch.  You should give the person adequate training so they can win at their job.  This happens often because we are usually rushed to fill a position and choose to throw them into the fire with insufficient training. 

2. Realignments and changing business needs.  If the business has changed and you need people to do other jobs than what they were doing or if you had a realignment and created a skillset redundancy, you may want to move them to another team where they would be able to contribute and thrive.  Quality employees with a fierce skillset and a learning mindset can be versatile enough to be plugged in elsewhere to positively impact; they are people you want around.   

3. You haven’t managed them well.  Part of the success of an employee can be attributed to how well they were supported.  Have you had regular meetings with your direct reports to learn what the person needs to succeed?  Did you set clear goals and expectations measurable with benchmarks, deadlines, and a general timeline for completion?  Have you had 1:1 performance discussions where they are aware of their gaps, and you have created an opportunity to invite their feedback to co-create an improvement plan with outcomes you are both comfortable with?  Have you had career development conversations where you understand their short and long-term motivations and dreams and how they fit into their daily tasks while offering opportunities for support, growth, and development?  Generally, have you be a present thought partner enabling their best efforts and clearing the path for their great work?

If you had a conversation about their struggles, do they know exactly what to do to improve and how their progress will be measured?  Are they aware of the timeframe and consequences if they break the mutual agreement and no improvement is made?  Making sure you have done everything possible to support the person matters.  If they still have not responded well to your assistance, it could be time to let the person go.

4. You have not kept them engaged or focused on their wellbeing.  If an employee is underperforming, it could be because they are burned out.  They were given more work than exceeded any normal human’s capacity, so they shut down, and so did their productivity.  They could also be dissatisfied with their job if they have been in the same role for a long time and they have not been offered growth opportunities, they could be showing signs of dissatisfaction and frustration by not being challenged by the work.  They can also feel resentful that all their time will work and they do not feel supported in having time off.  Before Thanksgiving of 2014, President Joe Biden sent a memo to his staff reminding them that he did not expect nor want anyone to “miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work.”  That includes celebrations, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or weddings, and time needed to step away from work due to an illness or death in the family.  For Biden, it was an unwritten rule for staff to take time off for family responsibilities or wellbeing.  Workplace cultures where there are no boundaries between professional and personal and being on call 24 hours a day is not conducive to bringing out people’s best, even if it may seem so in the short term.  Rewarding overwork can be detrimental.

If you have determined that you did not offer the proper support in the hiring and managing stage or if the business needs have changed, there are still things you can do to support your people.  You can move them laterally to another team or another department to thrive and be happier somewhere else in the company.  Perhaps, they have been in sales for many years, and an opportunity in marketing would be a breath of fresh air.  Or maybe they're in tech or operations and would enjoy a career pivot to manage people because that is what gives them joy.  Separate the person from the job; if they are great, where else can they go?  Around 2010, Salesforce wondered how it can be just as easy to transfer within the company as it was to leave so they created their Opportunity Open Market initiative.  After each quarterly release, software developers could transfer teams.  There would be internal job fairs to facilitate that transfer.  It allowed people to find what motivated them and work on things that challenged and excited them.  It was so successful it was integrated into the broader company. 

5. Your company decided to downsize.  If the company is going through a tough time and you must make layoffs, what are all your options?  The worst thing about layoffs is not only what you do to the people who leave but what you do to the people who stay because if they are expected to double their work, they end up losing trust and getting frustrated.  Is it possible to do furloughs instead?  Would anybody on the team volunteer for some time off because they are in a more comfortable position and wish to spend more time with their family?  Can you agree on a temporary promotion freeze if it means your people can stay?  Every team and culture are different; choose what works best for the group.  In 2008, Barry-Wehmiller got hit hard with the recession, so the board put pressure on the CEO Bob Chapman to make layoffs, but he believed in committing to people like family.  Instead of firing, he had each person take a four-week furlough of unpaid vacation whenever they wanted because he thought it was better for all to hurt a little than some to suffer a lot with a job loss.  As a result, morale went up because people saw leaders sacrificing the numbers for them, so they started to care for each other even more.  They would give their days to those who could not afford furlough.

Deciding to let a team member go is a big choice.  Before pulling the trigger, you want to understand the reasons for doing it and whether they are valid.  If the fault lies with you, you should give your people another chance.  If you have genuinely done everything you can, but they still show no improvement, do not waste one more minute.

Quote of the day: “On what high-performing companies should be striving to create: A great place for great people to do great work.” - Marilyn Carlson, former CEO of Carlson Companies

[The next blog in this firing series 3/3 will focus on the best ways to go about firing]

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to support their teams to do their best work, contact me to learn more.

How can you partner with your direct report for success?

Is it Time to Fire? (Firing Series 1/3)

One of the most difficult and least favorite parts of a leader’s job is deciding to let their employee go and then carrying out the process with humanity and fairness while also keeping the ship sailing smoothly.  Before making this decision to either fire or continue to support, it can be helpful to understand the turnover trends at your organization to put the issue in perspective. 

What is the turnover like on your team and at your company?

Low turnover is a sign of great company culture.  It shows that employees enjoy the environment and that the company has been thoughtful in its hiring processes and has gotten the right people matched to their positions.  On the other hand, high turnover is not only costly but could be emblematic of deeper and more systematic issues.  Perhaps, mistakes are being made in the hiring, training, or role placement process.  It could also be due to poor leadership if the common denominator is that you’re the one team that fires the most.  Or, maybe the company is growing so fast that leaders are not paying attention to the big picture such as to the phase shifts, which is where everything breaks as the company triples. Leaders may not be preparing for that different environment and getting their team adequately braced for the transition.  They may not be able to use the same processes for a team of 50 as they would 150.

Another reason to examine trends is to get a grip on the costs. According to Gallup data, the cost of turnover can be extensive; it can equal one-half to two times the person’s annual salary, including the expense of finding a replacement, onboarding, training, and the loss in productivity, morale, and institutional knowledge.

While low turnover is a great sign, you are not aiming for 0% within teams or in the company because some shakeup is healthy and necessary.  According to Adam Grant, a body of research shows that teams do the best when they have 4-4.5 years as a nucleus as it takes a few years to create effective routines and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and ways to complement them further.  It’s challenging to build alignment when teams are only together for a brief period.  Similarly, when teams stay together for too long, success drops because it lacks the diversity of thought and the pouring of fresh ideas which leads to innovation.

Reasons to Fire

While noting every organization is different and making these decisions are specific to the culture and needs of the company, here are some common reasons to dismiss an employee:

1. Ethnical violation.  If your employees lie, steal, or betray you, your team, or your clients, that is grounds for dismissal.  If they intentionally hurt, harass, or offend another person, there should be a zero-tolerance policy for this behavior because it can be quite corrosive to the culture. Nobody has the right to deliberately belittle others. When the trust is appallingly low because of frequent deceptions and misdeeds, a productive and genuine relationship cannot be built and productivity will be compromised.

2. Poor cultural fit.  If the employee is causing more problems than solving and the bad outweighs the good, it is time to go.  For example, if they do not operate with a growth mindset or a “what’s possible” mentality, and their default is seeing only the obstacles and getting easily deterred, that behavior can be counterproductive to the objectives.  Suppose they have an apathetic attitude in not caring about their work or their teammates or a negative disposition and exhibit toxic behavior where they are bringing everybody else down.  In that case, it is time to make a change.  Recent research from Harvard Business shows that one bad employee can corrupt a whole team.  The study looked at how employees act when they are around someone who misbehaves.  It found that 37% of those studied were more likely to do something dishonest if they worked with someone with a history of bad behavior. 

3. They are consistently underperforming and have not responded to your support.  If you have managed them well by giving them timely and specific feedback and have been a supportive partner in their performance reviews and career advancement plans, but they are regularly performing poorly, not capitalizing on any of the opportunities for improvement, or have ignored your repeated efforts to support them, it’s time.  In any of these cases, it should never be a surprise to them when they are let go, they should be well aware of what they need to do and the ramifications of not delivering on realistic expectations.  In most organizations, performance improvement plans are in process to address these issues. If you have a high standard of excellence and offer a supportive culture, keeping a low performer can be more costly to the team than the disruption of letting them go.  A good check-in question to ask yourself is, if you were starting this company today, would you rehire this person?  If the answer is no, follow your gut.  Netflix uses the “keeper test,” which is when managers ask themselves - “Which of my people if they told me they were leaving for a similar job at a competitor or peer company would I fight hard to keep?”

When it comes to the tough decision of letting an employee go, certain reasons make this decision an easier one.  If the person committed any ethical violations, is a net negative on the culture because their attitude diminishes the team instead of accelerating it, or if they are consistently underperforming and do not care to get better, then do not delay, make the call, as tough as it may be.

Quote of the day: “Firing is not something you do to someone: firing is something you do for someone.” Author Larry Winget

Q:  When do you know it is time to let somebody go?  What’s your process for firing?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this firing series 2/3 will focus on choosing to support your team instead of dismissing them] 

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to best navigate performance management challenges and build flourishing cultures, contact me to learn more.

When is the right time to let your employee go?

When Hiring, End Strong (Hiring Series 5/5)

The last few blogs in this series dealt with the beginning and middle phases of the hiring process, this article will focus on the latter stages.  Once the candidate has made it past the initial interview rounds, you may want to consider the following steps to decide among your potential matches to find the best fit.

Here are some helpful steps:

1. Written sample. Many companies collect writing samples from candidates before or after an initial interview to gain insight into their thinking and written communication skills.  It is an excellent way to know how they can convey messages.  This criterion may be more critical than others depending on the job.  Amazon, for example, has a practice where people share their written updates before meetings, and others silently read, review, make comments, and ask questions so having that ability is essential. 

2. Demo/job audition.  Ron Friedman recommends designing a job-relevant assignment that reflects the type of work the applicant will do if they are hired.  For example, if it is a software development position, maybe you want them to write sample code to see how clean their style is or build a feature to see how they conceptualize a project, and then have them explain it so you can understand their thinking process.  If you are deciding on salespeople, have them sell you the product after providing the contextual details and time to prepare. If you're hiring web designers, have them mock up a landing page. If the position is for a professional coach, have them do a brief coaching session. This way, your assessment is based on actual performance, not simply how charismatic they might be during the interview or about trusting your gut.  One of the best predictors of how somebody would perform at a job is to see a work sample.

3. Final Round Interviews:  There will be a few people you will want to see again.  The goal here is to ensure the right skill-culture-job fit. Southwest’s model is to hire for attitude and train for skill because it is hard to teach somebody to have a positive disposition and growth mindset. In this stage, Lencioni says, “do not be afraid to interrogate your applicants! If they skirt around a question, ask it again, and keep asking it until you get an answer. If you have a nagging doubt that the candidate is hiding something, there is a good chance they are, so don’t let it go—just change the wording slightly each time. For example, if the candidate keeps giving a vague answer to a question about coping with conflict, you can ask, ‘would your best friend tell you that you hold grudges?’ If a candidate eventually snaps at your pushy technique, that gives you valuable information.”  Get to the heart of what really matters.

4. Observe them in their environment [optional for top-level hires].   This is to get more of a sense of how they treat others for the cultural fit.  Bill Gates would introduce potential hires to others and see how they interact and observe if they could keep the conversation going.  Lencioni suggests conducting nontraditional interviews over soccer practice or even taking candidates out shopping so you can get to know them in a different context.  Charles Schwab’s CEO Walt Bettinger takes candidates out to a restaurant and deliberately ensures the waiter messes up their order to gauge how well they react to mistakes. A person who will be unforgiving toward waitstaff is not someone you want on your team.  If it is a small enough company, the CEO should be involved in hiring, especially with the early ones to be intentional about fostering a culture of excellence and humanity.

5. Check their references. Usually, references that people provide do not speak negatively, but if they confirm dates of employment, that's a problem because the absence of enthusiasm is a bad sign.  People who like you will go above and beyond.  You can ask on a scale 1-10, how great is this person?  You can ask a leading question: what is the one task the candidate would be most proud of that they experimented with and did well?  Luis Von Ahn, CEO and Cofounder of Duolingo, offers this advice.  When you contact their reference, you can ask, “Did he/she work well with others?”  You are looking for a more definitive and enthusiastic response like “absolutely” over a more wishy-washy one – “yeah, with most people.”  Maybe you detect the reference is being coy, you can frame your questions to elicit specific choices.  For example, “what’s more likely - that this person will be a total pushover or a little manipulative?”  “Work more by themselves or inclined to work with others?”  Listen closely to these responses because they can contain the exact answers you are seeking. 

6. Making a decision.  Part of what goes into a great company is hiring great people.  The way to know if the person is an A player is to answer the question – “Will this person raise the performance and cultural quality?”  If the answer is a yes on both fronts, you may have yourself a winner.  It may be tempting to let somebody in who is exceptional on their technical proficiencies, but if they are culturally challenging, it should be a hard pass because you send a message to the others that sub-par behavior is acceptable, and great culture is not prioritized.  Steve Jobs was rumored to have said, it is better to have a hole on the team than an A-hole. You should be dying to hire the person because of their competencies and cultural fit. David Ogilvy, known as the Father of Advertising, said, “If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs.  But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.”  The quality of the people you bring in will directly lead to the satisfaction of the quality of the team members.  Indeed, cultivating unbelievable talent starts with one good hire after the next.

7. Send the non-hires feedback.  For the people who did not get the job, take the time to send them feedback, it will mean a lot to them, and it is the human way to operate, especially after they invested all that time.  Adam Grant offers this advice, “It's disappointing that so few interviewers give feedback to job applicants after rejecting them.  When turning candidates away, the least we can do is make it a learning experience.  Ghosting is selfish.  People are hurting.  A bit of guidance might help them get hired elsewhere.” A few thoughtful comments can have a massive positive impact on the candidate, do not squander the opportunity, build it into your process.

Finding the right candidate takes time and while there is an initial upfront cost, when you get the right person in the proper position, you will be glad that you took the extra time and thought to make a meaningful hire.

Quote of the Day: “Time spent on hiring is time well spent.” - Robert Half, Founder of Global Human Resource Consulting Firm 

Q: What methods work for you in asking for a job sample or checking a candidate’s reference?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear!

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

What do you look for when you hire?

How does your company prevent difficult workers from getting hired? (Workplace Conflict Series 3/3)

How you treat people matters more than anything.  Companies should create a culture of respect, and every leader should have an obligation to uphold a no-jerk environment because it allows for great work to be done and it is simply the right thing to do.

The impact of a toxic worker is quite significant.  Experts say, when a team member procrastinates or displays a bad attitude, there is a real risk of social contagion, which drives down the morale and productivity of those around them. Susan Davis, author of Emotional Agility contends, “we all pick up on settle cues from others, and that affects our behavior and actions.” This behavior can lead to poor team efficiency, lower levels of commitment, and less of a focus on the shared goals.  Furthermore, ignoring the issue makes the problem more acute.  According to Allan Cohen, Babson Professor of Global Leadership, when people do not carry their weight, frustration grows because others need to do more.

Knowing this negative impact, here are some things a company can do to protect the culture from toxic workers:

1. Screen them out in the hiring process.  If you determine that somebody could exhibit toxic behavior, perhaps they care only about individual results at the expense of others, do not hire them, no matter how capable and brilliant they may be.  Professor of Management Science at Stanford University Bob Sutton said that toxic people make us less productive.  Maybe you cannot be certain if somebody has a lot of jerk behaviors during the interview, but you can do everything you can to find out more in the hiring process.  Luis Von Ahn, CEO and Cofounder of Duolingo offers this advice.  When you contact their reference, you can ask, “Did he/she work well with others?”  You are looking for a more definitive and enthusiastic response like “absolutely” over a more wishy-washy one – “yeah, for most people.”  Maybe you detect the reference is being coy, you can frame your questions to elicit specific choices.  For example, “what’s more likely - that this person will be a total pushover or a little manipulative?”  “Work more by themselves or inclined to work with others?”  Listen closely to these responses because they can contain the exact answers you are seeking. 

2. Align stated company values with practiced behaviors. If you ask a set of random employees, who are the superstars in the organization and you find out that they are the top producers who also happen to be toxic at times, it seems as if the company is rewarding bad behavior.  So how can you practice what you preach? If you care about teamwork, how are you building that in your incentive and promotion strategy to reward that kind of behavior?  For example, the stated values of Enron in the 90s were communication, respect, integrity, and excellence. They claimed they valued good behavior, but they actually rewarded ruthlessness and selfishness. When you incentivize individual achievement rather than promoting people based on how they elevate others, it contributes to a toxic culture. How about a mixed approach? Part of their compensation can be directly related to how much they have helped others, exhibited through observation and peer feedback, and part can be from their individual contributions.

3. Make the offenders aware of how they are treating people. You can offer “360 reviews” where leaders can receive valuable data from their peers, subordinates, direct reports, and others.  Sometimes it is just that awareness that their behavior is problematic which can be enough to course correct. When Cindy Hess, Partner at a law firm learned of some selfish behaviors she had which were revealed through reviews, she was stunned and took steps to make adjustments. Companies can offer management training programs to help build the cadre of soft skills that help leaders invest in others.  

Another way to raise awareness is for companies to provide a free-market approach where their subordinates have some say in choosing their boss or team lead. At Fenwick and West, Partners choose their associates to service their clients but Associates have every right to say no if they feel it is not a right fit.  They obviously prefer to pick Partners who they enjoy working with, who they can learn from, and who will take an interest in their development and career trajectory.  If none of the Associates are picking you, that exposes a hard truth.  Similarly, if there is a mentorship program and mentees get to pick who they want to work with based on reputation, and again you keep getting passed up, this needs to be explored and addressed.  To make sure leaders know how they are being viewed, the company does anonymous upward reviews were Junior Associates rate Senior Partners.  According to Glassdoor, Fenwick and West is one of the top Silicon Valley law firms to work for in terms of cultural excellence. 

4. Have a Zero Tolerance Policy. You cannot allow demeaning or disrespectful behavior from anybody, including upper management.  When companies act swiftly, it sends a message that this conduct will not be tolerated and employees will be protected.  This does not mean that there will be no hard conversations or people will not get upset from time to time, but that there will be consequences for repeated poor behavior.  If somebody is getting frequent complaints and they refuse to acknowledge the problem or change their behavior, they should be let go.  Studies show the presence of one person exhibiting toxic behavior can bring down a whole team, that it is better to have a hole in the team than to have an additional person that is not helpful. Studies also show that it is actually much more profitable to replace a worker displaying poor behavior with an average performer, as opposed to upgrading an average performer to star status, it is because the one who is showing negativity has a much more damaging impact.

There is no such thing as a perfect culture, but companies can do their best to create an environment that values support, respect, and positive interactions.  We spend so much of our time at work that it is only right to expect that we are treated with dignity so we can give our best performance.

Quote of the day: “I am thankful to all those difficult people in my life, they have shown me exactly who I do not want to be!” – Unknown

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to have difficult conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

Q: How does your company protect you from toxic workers and maintain an amazing culture?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

Getting rid of a toxic culture begins with removing a toxic person

How Do You Deal With A Difficult Boss? (Workplace Conflict Series 2/3)

Steve Jobs has had a complicated legacy.  While few would doubt his visionary abilities, many would call into question his leadership style and weak interpersonal skills.  He has been described as deceitful and cruel, even by his friends.  It is known that he cheated his co-founder out of a big bonus and lied about it. While Walter Isaacson was conducting research when writing the biography of Jobs, Apple Engineer Johnny Ives told Isaacson that when Jobs got frustrated, his way to achieve catharsis was to hurt someone.  According to Ives, Jobs felt he had the liberty and license to do it.

Like Jobs, there are hundreds of other leaders who treat their employees poorly.  Research shows that leaders who demean their workers have rationalized their aggression because, at times, they can get short-term results so they feel vindicated in their unsavory behavior to achieve their goals. This problem is compounded when the long-term damage they are causing to others is invisible to them.  Bad bosses may also see the situation in black and white terms, thinking – “I have to use this behavior or I will not get these outcomes.” But there is a big difference between being demanding (having high expectations for others) and demeaning (devaluing other people, even treating them disrespectfully and making them feel worthless).  This tradeoff does not need to exist because it is possible to show respect and set a high bar.  Kim Scott’s Radical Candor uses this exact leadership approach – caring for somebody personally and challenging them professionally.

The impact of toxic bosses can be quite detrimental.  Here are some company consequences: 

1. Negatively affects performance and reduces worker productivity. The presence of a bad boss can cause team members to make mistakes and doubt themselves. In one experiment with a medical team in Israel, a doctor berated his team and said he was not impressed with their medical care and that they would not last in the department for more than a week.  In the ensuing days, the percentage of an accurate diagnosis by the team went down by 20% and the procedures they did were 15% less effective.  When we work with somebody who has abused us mentally, our cognitive abilities decline.  Essentially, working with an angry boss makes us dumber.  In another experiment, students were instructed to walk into a testing room, but instead accidentally walked into the professor’s office.  Immediately, the professor berated the students and said, “Are you not smart enough to see the do-not-disturb sign?” They then took a math test and solved a quarter fewer anagrams correctly compared to the students who were not just lambasted.

2. Less likely to help others.  In that same experiment, people who were just scolded by the professor opted not to help others when they had the opportunity to do so.  In another experiment, as students were leaving the school building after enduring some harsh words, they saw a few classmates drop a bunch of books and choose to keep walking instead of helping to pick them up.  The best teams are collaborative ones so if people are holding back with their assistance, teams cannot reach peak performance.

3. Creates silence and shutdown.  Toxic bosses create an environment where people stay quiet because they want to avoid rocking the boat.  They are trying to stay under the radar because they do not want to be a target for any abuse. This significantly hurts teams and organizations because there is no feeling of psychological safety for people to contribute their ideas, especially when half-formed. Having that environment where you can comfortably share and be supported is a necessary component to reach collective intelligence and do great work.

Responses to Avoid

When you are feeling abused and wanting immediate reconciliation, it can be tempting to opt for less helpful responses that may feel good in the short-term but carry severe negative long-term consequences.  Here are some to avoid: 

1. Do nothing and endure. This decision can eat you up inside and cause resentment.  The discontent cannot only manifest at the workplace but also at home and create an unhappy disposition with the people you care for the most.  When we continuously repress our feelings, it comes out in other ways, often when we least expect it or cannot afford for it to leak out.

2. Fight back at the moment.  It is not the best idea if you have not collected your thoughts, yet choose to unleash them spontaneously for the sake of justice.  After all, you believe that this person simply cannot go around rebuking people the way they do, and you are going to be the person to change their behavior.  The problem with this savior mentality is that it is immediately going to put the person on the defensive and they have been playing the angry-and-public-ridicule game for much longer than you have so picking a fight on their turf may be gratifying at the moment, but most likely does not lead to a productive resolution.

Responses to Consider

Here are some helpful steps you can take to confront your boss thoughtfully and productively so you can decide your next move:

1. Focus on personal impact.  See if you can find a respectful way of letting them know the impact they are having on you.  People sometimes do not see how upsetting, demeaning, and unprofessional their actions are to you, your team, or the organization.   Other people's intentions only exist in their hearts and minds so we cannot assume that we know them. We feel hurt so we think that they intended to hurt us, but when we can disentangle intent from impact and apply curiosity, we can get more information on how best to respond and understand why this is occurring.  The best-case scenario is that they understand just how much you have been affected and take steps to change their behavior.

2. Change teams. If you believe in your company’s purpose and vision but are having a hard time with the manager, see if you can change teams so you are no longer reporting to your boss. If enough people are requesting a transfer, it will become obvious where the source of the problem exists.

3. Change jobs.  If you conclude that the other person had intentions to hurt you or does not plan on changing, and this is typical of what goes on in different parts of the organization, you may want to consider leaving your job.  What is all this heartache and pain costing you?  Find that leader in a people-first company who will not only treat you with dignity but will inspire you and bring out your very best.

The big question that people always ask about Steve Jobs is - did he have to be so mean?  Walter Isaacson would argue that he succeeded in spite of his cruelty, not because of it. The kindness routes are always the better paths to travel down because you will get better results and create stronger relationships along the way.

Quote of the day:  “Having a bad boss isn't your fault. Staying with one is.” -Nora Denzel 

Q: How have you handled a difficult boss? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear your opinions.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

[The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on what organizations can do to prevent difficult people from tanking the culture]

How do you handle a difficult boss?

Have you mastered the art of working with a difficult Teammate? (Workplace Conflict Series 1/3)

There is always that one person you work with whose job is to make everybody’s life just a little more difficult.  They show nuanced passive-aggressiveness by hinting at what they dislike instead of having clear communication, they take credit for wins they have not contributed to, they dole out blame unfairly, they provide misleading or incomplete information to make your work more cumbersome than it has to be.  They can also display their difficulty in more obvious ways – raising their voices, ridiculing, complaining, and showing an overall foul attitude.  This person may behave this way either because they are unaware of their actions or because they know exactly what they are doing and simply do not care or cannot control it.  Do you know who I am talking about? 

If you find yourself working with somebody who is making your job more stressful and you do not have the power to separate from that person, there are still actions you can take to ameliorate the situation.

It all begins with a clear conversation to increase understanding.  Here are helpful tips when approaching your discussion:

1. Assume you do not know instead of jumping to conclusions.  Management Professor at Babson College Allan Cohen says that it is human nature to make assumptions about other people’s motives, even when we lack real evidence.  It is how our brains work, but this shortcut does not always lead to the right conclusions. Instead of assuming that somebody is trying to make your life more arduous, you can ask: “I don’t know what is going on, but whatever it is, would you like to figure it out together?” “I noticed when I share my opinion, you talk over me, and I’m unable to finish my thoughts, I’d love to learn more about that behavior and how we can work together more effectively.”  When you are curious and sincere, you can uncover information for the best resolution.

2. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  It is usually true that each person will think the other is being a jerk and that they are trying to hurt, embarrass, or upset one another. But what if this was not true?  In that case, it is best to apply curiosity and turn the discussion into a learning conversation so you can get to the root of the behavior.  When you assume the best intentions, you are more likely to approach the situation with an open mind and be receptive to the information for real change to occur. There is something important about entering a conversation and putting aside your frustrations and emotions at the moment to think about how you can serve the other person while also handling yourself well.

3. Understand the person’s motives. Asking empowering questions can help you understand your teammates’ motives so you know how to work best with them.  Questions such as, what else is going on for you right now or what is motivating you, can be illuminating.  When you inquire about their interests, motivations, and priorities, you get a better sense of their perspective and can learn about what causes their behavior and how you can work with their style and intentions.

4. Label the person’s behavior.  Neil Rackman, President of Huthwaite Inc. examined the difference between an expert and an average negotiator and found that experts are more likely to label other people’s behavior and confirm their understanding.  If somebody starts yelling during the conversation, you can take a step back and call out their behavior. “It seems like yelling is one of your favorite motivational strategies.  Do you think that is going to be effective here?”  This approach puts them in a logical frame of mind so they can recognize the behavior and adjust.  You can also take a break by saying, “It seems like we may need a minute (in a calm, monotone voice), I’m going to get a cup of coffee, would you like one?” Taking those few minutes will allow each of you to regroup and reenter the conversation in a more productive way.

5. Adjust your expectations.  It can be helpful to know that sometimes people are not going to behave well either because they are having a bad day or maybe they have never been given the tools to learn how to handle themselves well in a professional context or as human begins in general.  For whatever reason people do not show up as their best selves or maybe their best is not good enough, it is helpful to adjust your expectations.  You cannot assume that somebody has the same experience, tools, training to handle situations well or in the way that you would. 

6. Provide choice.  If you find yourself in a tough conflict, you can offer a choice by saying the following, “We arrived at this moment because we may have had different expectations, and now that we have run into the issue, here are some options I can think of to resolve the dilemma, which one do you think is best?”  When you present them with a series of options that you are comfortable with, you give them some control over the process and it makes a difference because people love choices. 

The key to dealing with conflict on the team is to retrace the steps to see how you got here, see each other’s perspective, build understanding, and move forward together on a more productive note.  When you are curious and approach people positively, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Quote of the day: “Show respect even to people that don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” – Author Dave Willis

Q: How have you handled a tough teammate?  What’s your favorite strategy for achieving peace with them? Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to have difficult conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

[The next blog in this series 2/3 will focus on dealing with a difficult boss]

How do you handle a difficult teammate?