Coaching in the Age of AI: Why the Human Advantage Still Wins

AI is reshaping professions across the board - including coaching. But here’s the forward twist: instead of seeing AI as a threat, coaches who embrace it as a co-pilot gain the upper hand. AI works best when it supports - and amplifies - the deeply human elements that only skilled coaches bring: empathy, presence, intuition, and transformational connection.

How Coaches Can Leverage AI Smartly

1. An Idea Incubator for Career Growth.  When a client wants to stretch into new territory, AI can generate a buffet of possibilities - conferences, MOOCs, emerging skills, and professional groups. The real coaching moment comes when you sift, prioritize, and co-design the path forward, turning options into ownership.

2. Strategy on Demand.  AI can surface frameworks, industry trends, and case studies at the click of a button. But it takes a coach to slow the conversation down and ask: Which of these models actually fits your reality? What assumptions do we need to challenge? That’s where “data” becomes wisdom, and there is an opportunity to turn the abstract into action.

3. Language for the Hard Stuff.  For difficult conversations, AI can sharpen tone and clarity in a draft email or script. You, however, guide the heart of it: What’s the impact you want this to have on the relationship? How do you want to be remembered after this exchange?

4. Rapid Diagnostics.  AI can quickly critique a client’s go-to-market deck or presentation for gaps or blind spots. The coach then pushes deeper: What surprised you? How might stakeholders react differently from what you expect? The shift from “feedback” to “foresight” is purely human.

Why Humans Still Hold the Competitive Edge

·      Empathy That Truly Lands. AI can mimic warmth, but it can’t sit in the fire with a client. A coach notices the tremor in a voice, offers a pause that conveys 'I see you,' and holds the kind of presence that fosters psychological safety. Amy Edmondson’s research at Harvard shows that safety is the bedrock of learning and growth.

·      Connection That Rewards the Brain.  Neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman’s work proves what we intuitively know: human connection lights up the brain’s reward centers. A coach remembers milestones, senses doubt in a client’s tone, or sends a quick text of encouragement. AI responds; humans resonate.

·      The Power of Strategic Silence.  AI rushes to fill the gap. Coaches honor it. Sit with a client long enough, and their second thought - or their truer thought - finally emerges. Silence isn’t empty; it becomes a partner in discovery. AI fills gaps quickly; coaches honor the space that invites revelation.

·      Conversations That Create. A metaphor pulled from your own life, a laugh that eases tension, a surprising reframing - these sparks come from two humans being in real-time exchange.  AI mirrors: coaches make meaning.

·      Whole-Person Context.  Coaches hold the story behind the story: the client as a parent, partner, leader, dreamer. We weave threads across roles and histories. AI sees inputs; humans see the human and sense the story beneath the words.

·      Adaptive Dialogue.  Mid-conversation, a coach follows an intuition: Seems like that pause might matter – would you like to explore it?  Or pivots when a client lights up about something unplanned. Coaching is jazz, not sheet music. AI follows instructions; coaches improvise, redirect, and reshape.

·      Reading What’s Unspoken. A tightening jaw, an eye that flicks sideways, a cracked voice—these are invitations to dig deeper. Research in embodied cognition shows emotions live as much in the body as in the mind. Coaches read both. AI can’t.

We are also seeing how fast AI is advancing, so I would not be surprised if, in a short time, AI does not continue to make gains in some of the areas listed above. 

Research Underscores the Human + AI Partnership

Studies confirm AI works best as a co-pilot, not a replacement. It helps coaches scale, personalize, and streamline—but the relational and intuitive remain human territory. 

• Geoffroy de Lestrange of Speexx calls AI a catalyst: tailoring learning and automating admin, while “people remain at the core.”

• CoachHub’s Aimy and similar bots help clients practice conversations, but they can’t replicate the empowerment found in human coaching relationships.

AI is a powerful ally - quick, resourceful, and scalable. But empathy, intuition, presence, and the courage to sit in silence are still human terrain.

The future belongs to coaches who let AI handle the scaffolding while they bring the soul. In the age of AI, coaching isn’t diminished. It becomes both high-tech and deeply human.

Reflection Question: What’s one way you could bring AI in as your co-pilot this week - and where will your human touch be irreplaceable? Comment and share below, we’d love to hear from you!

Quote of the Day: “Combining the rationality of machines with the emotional wisdom of humans makes tomorrow’s coaching both high-tech and deeply human.” —Geoffroy de Lestrange

As a leadership development and executive coach, I partner with leaders to maximize their potential and elevate their impact, contact me to explore further.

How do you best partner with AI?

Building Trust and Credibility in Your First 90 Days (New Executive Series 4/4)

Trust and credibility are the cornerstones of effective leadership, and as a new executive, your first 90 days are critical for building both. Success isn’t achieved through grand gestures but through consistent actions demonstrating your competence, authenticity, and alignment with the organization’s goals. We’ll uncover why trust and credibility matter, how to establish them quickly, and the key steps to lay a strong foundation for lasting impact.

 Why Trust and Credibility Matter

1. Trust Unlocks Collaboration. Teams are more willing to share ideas, take risks, and work collaboratively when they trust their leader. According to Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust, trust is a performance multiplier that accelerates results.

2. Credibility Drives Influence.  Without credibility, it’s difficult to lead effectively. When others see you as knowledgeable, reliable, and aligned with organizational values, your ability to influence decisions and drive change increases significantly.

3. First Impressions Last.  Research shows that people form lasting impressions quickly. The actions you take (or fail to take) in your early days will shape how others perceive you as a leader.

How to Build Trust and Credibility Quickly

1. Show Competence Through Results.  Early wins are essential for demonstrating your capability. Focus on high-impact areas where you can quickly make a positive difference. For example:

o   Identify a pressing issue and create a clear plan to address it.

o   Deliver on small, visible commitments to show you follow through.

2. Listen More Than You Speak.  Listening signals respect and helps you understand the organizational landscape. Ask thoughtful questions to learn about your team’s challenges, priorities, and aspirations. Key Questions to Ask:

o   “What’s working well that we should build on?”

o   “What challenges are holding the team back?”

o   “How can I best support you in your role?”

3. Be Transparent and Authentic.  Authenticity builds trust. Be honest about what you know, what you don’t, and your intentions. If you need more time to make a decision, say so.

4. Align Your Actions With Company Values. Understand the organization’s mission, vision, and values—and model them in your behavior. For instance:

o   If the company values collaboration, actively seek input from others.

o   If innovation is a priority, champion new ideas and celebrate creative thinking.

5. Communicate Consistently and Clearly.  Credibility grows when you communicate effectively. Share updates regularly, set clear expectations, and keep stakeholders informed. For example:

o   Provide a 30-60-90-day plan to outline your focus areas.

o   Hold regular check-ins with your team and key stakeholders.

6. Acknowledge Mistakes and Learn From Them.  No leader is perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. Own up to them quickly, take responsibility, and outline what you’ll do differently moving forward. This humility demonstrates integrity and fosters trust.

Behaviors That Undermine Trust and Credibility

1. Overpromising and Underdelivering.  Don’t commit to more than you can deliver, especially in your first 90 days. Unrealistic promises can erode trust quickly.

2. Acting Without Understanding. Jumping to conclusions or making changes without context can alienate your team. Take the time to listen and learn before acting.

3. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.  Trust requires honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. Avoiding tough conversations signals a lack of accountability and weakens your credibility.

The Long-Term Benefits of Trust and Credibility

1. Stronger Team Dynamics.  A foundation of trust encourages open communication, collaboration, and mutual respect.

2. Enhanced Influence.  Credible leaders are more likely to gain buy-in from stakeholders, enabling them to drive meaningful change.

3. Sustainable Success.  Building trust early creates a culture of support and alignment that sustains long-term results.

In your first 90 days as a new executive, trust and credibility aren’t optional—they’re essential. By listening, delivering results, and modeling authenticity, you’ll build a foundation that enables you to lead with confidence and impact.

Quote of the Day: "Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships." – Stephen R. Covey

Question of the Day: What’s one action you can take this week to strengthen trust with your team or stakeholders? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with new executives to sharpen their leadership skills contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you build and keep trust?

Roadshow Ready: Showcasing Your Team’s Work to Drive Strategic Success (New Executive Series 3/4)

As a new executive, building relationships and elevating your voice are just the beginning. The next step is taking your leadership to a broader audience through a "roadshow." This isn’t about self-promotion - it’s a strategic opportunity to showcase your team’s contributions, align efforts with the company’s vision, and gain organizational buy-in. By sharing your team’s work and vision, you position yourself as a results-driven, collaborative leader.

Here’s why roadshows are essential for new executives and how to execute them effectively.

1. Aligns Your Work with Strategic Priorities. Roadshows help you demonstrate how your team’s goals directly contribute to the organization’s key objectives. Leaders at all levels need to see that your efforts are advancing the broader mission.

2. Increases Visibility and Credibility.  By sharing your team’s work across departments, you raise awareness of your contributions and establish yourself as a forward-thinking leader. As Herminia Ibarra notes in Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, visibility is essential for leadership impact.

3. Builds Organizational Buy-In.  A well-executed roadshow fosters alignment and collaboration, ensuring stakeholders understand how your team’s work supports the company’s success.

How to Structure an Effective Roadshow

A roadshow isn’t just a series of meetings - it’s a carefully planned communication strategy. Use this framework to ensure your roadshow resonates:

1. Clarify Your Goals.  Before you begin, define what you want to achieve. Are you introducing your vision? Showcasing team successes? Building support for an initiative? Be clear about your objectives to guide your messaging.

2. Understand the Company’s KPIs.  Align your roadshow content with the company’s strategic priorities. Research key performance indicators (KPIs) and goals, and connect your team’s work to these metrics. For example: “Our work on [project X] supports the company’s goal of [specific KPI], enabling us to [specific outcome].” Share measurable outcomes to demonstrate your team’s impact. For example, highlight progress against KPIs, cost savings, or customer satisfaction improvements.

3. Tailor Your Message for Each Audience.  Different stakeholders care about different things. For senior leaders, focus on strategic impact and ROI. For peers, highlight collaboration opportunities. For your team, emphasize how their work aligns with the company’s vision.  Most importantly, keep the information concise and impactful.  Respect your audience’s time by focusing on high-impact content. Use visuals like slides or dashboards to simplify complex information.

4. Share Your Vision and Progress.  Use the roadshow to paint a compelling picture of your team’s goals and contributions. Outline the “why,” “what,” and “how” of your vision:

·       Why: The purpose behind your work.

·       What: The key initiatives and progress so far.

·       How: The ways your team will continue driving results and contributing to the company’s success.

5. Incorporate Storytelling.  Facts and figures are important, but stories make your message memorable. Share examples of your team’s successes or impactful moments to create an emotional connection with your audience.

6. Invite Feedback and Collaboration.  Position your roadshow as a two-way conversation. Ask for input, listen to concerns, and seek ideas for collaboration. This approach builds trust and strengthens relationships.

7. Follow Up with Action.  After each meeting, send a follow-up email summarizing key points, thanking attendees for their time, and outlining next steps. Following through shows professionalism and reinforces your message.

The Benefits of Going on a Roadshow

1. Strengthens Strategic Alignment. By connecting your team’s work to organizational priorities, you ensure your efforts contribute to the company’s success.

2. Builds Cross-Functional Relationships. A roadshow fosters collaboration across departments, breaking down silos and opening doors to future partnerships.

3. Inspires Your Team. Showcasing your team’s contributions boosts morale and reinforces their connection to the company’s vision.

A roadshow is your chance to connect, align, and inspire. By showcasing your team’s impact and vision, you’ll build trust, credibility, and momentum. Leadership is about rallying others around a shared purpose—what message will you share?

Quote of the day: "Great leaders don’t just set the vision - they communicate it so clearly that it becomes a shared purpose. – John C. Maxwell

Question of the day. How can you tailor your message to ensure your team’s vision resonates with stakeholders at every level of the organization?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 4/4 will focus on strategies for building trust and credibility. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with new executives to sharpen their leadership skills contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you share your team’s work?

Elevating Your Voice in Executive Meetings (New Executive Series 2/4)

For many new executives, speaking up in high-stakes meetings, especially with more senior or influential audiences, can feel daunting. The fear of saying the wrong thing, being judged, overshadowing others, or disrupting the established dynamic often holds people back. Yet holding back can be just as risky. Staying quiet may limit your visibility, dilute your influence, and cause you to miss critical opportunities to contribute meaningfully and shape the conversation.

Let’s explore barriers to speaking up and actionable strategies to overcome these challenges.

1. Introverted Style.  Introverts often prefer to observe and process information before sharing their thoughts. While this approach can bring valuable insights, waiting too long might mean missing the window to share altogether, especially in fast-paced discussions.

Strategies to Overcome:

• Prep with Purpose: Take time before the meeting to think through the purpose, key outcomes, and crucial decisions. Drafting talking points, including pros, cons, and recommendations, to clarify your perspective in advance and anticipate any potential concerns.

• Leverage Timing: Aim to contribute earlier in the meeting when ideas are still forming, even if it’s to ask a clarifying question. This signals engagement and builds momentum for your voice.

2. Fear of Looking Foolish.  The inner critic pipes up: What if I say something wrong? What if I don’t sound like I belong in this room? What if what I say doesn’t resonate? This fear keeps many smart, capable leaders from contributing.

Strategies to Overcome:

• Shift from Fear to Possibility: Thought leader Susan Jeffers, in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, advises reframing discomfort as a doorway to growth. Speaking up opens new opportunities silence never will.

• Own Imperfection: Brené Brown’s research highlights that vulnerability is a strength. Even if your idea is not perfect, contributing shows courage and commitment to the team.

3. Everything Has Been Said.  When others seem to cover the key points, it may feel unnecessary—or even self-indulgent—to add your voice. However, your unique lens remains valuable.

Strategies to Overcome:

• Shape the Flow: According to Adam Grant in Think Again, contributing early not only increases your visibility but also gives you the chance to influence the conversation.

• Enrich the Dialogue through Questions: If your key points have been addressed, ask a thoughtful question that deepens the discussion or offers a new angle. Questions demonstrate active listening and intellectual curiosity.

4. Deference to Experienced Leaders. Being new or less experienced can spark self-doubt when surrounded by seasoned executives. But your fresh perspective is an asset, not a liability.

Strategies to Overcome:

• Leverage Newcomer Insight: As Harvard Business School’s Frances Frei and Anne Morriss explain in Unleashed, newcomers often bring fresh perspectives unclouded by legacy thinking. Use this to your advantage.

• Frame Your Voice:  Use language like “From a different angle…” or “Building on what’s already been shared…” to position your input as additive rather than disruptive, reinforcing collaboration while contributing your unique insight.

5. Nerves and Overthinking.  Anxiety can lead to second-guessing, or, once you start talking, rambling. Neither helps your message land with clarity.

Strategies to Overcome:

• Practice Conciseness: Jot down key points in bullet form before you speak to stay focused. Aim for clarity and brevity.

• Breathe and Pause: Slow, deep breaths and deliberate pacing can help calm nerves and ensure your message lands effectively.

When You Do Speak: Add Value with Intention

When you do contribute, focus on adding value to the conversation. Here are four powerful ways to do so:

1. Share an Informed Perspective

• Align with Business Priorities: Highlight how your points connect to both short-term and long-term business goals.

• Take a Systems View: Discuss how ideas impact other departments, stakeholders, or the broader organization.

• Offer Industry Comparisons: Share insights from within or outside your industry to provide context and innovative solutions.

2. Ask Strategic Questions.  Questions can:

• Clarify others’ thinking.

• Identify hidden challenges or opportunities.

• Guide the conversation toward actionable outcomes.

3. Take a Facilitator Role.  If the conversation becomes chaotic or stuck:

• Summarize key points: “Here’s what I’m hearing…”

• Propose structure: “Should we park this item and revisit it later so we can cover the rest of the agenda?”

• Propose action: “What feels most important to move forward, and who will take the lead?”

4. Champion Others. Acknowledging and building on others’ ideas fosters collaboration and trust. For example: “I really appreciate Jim’s idea because it prioritizes our stakeholders in innovative ways.”

·       Amplify Contributions: Echo and expand on valuable ideas by connecting them to broader goals or providing additional context.

·       Recognize Effort: Highlight when someone’s contribution moves the conversation forward. For example, “Susan’s suggestion provides a clear path for addressing this challenge effectively.”

Silence might feel safe in the moment, but it’s a missed opportunity to build your reputation, influence decisions, and create meaningful connections with colleagues. By preparing, practicing, and shifting your mindset, you can make your voice heard and elevate your presence in executive meetings.  Your voice is your power—use it to lead with confidence.

Quote of the day: "Speak Your Mind, Even If Your Voice Shakes.” – Maggie Kuhn

Question of the day. What steps can you take to reframe fear of speaking up as an opportunity for growth and connection? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on the importance of roadshows to make your team’s work more visible.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with new executives to sharpen their leadership skills contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you add value in meetings?

Leading Former Peers: Navigating Shifts in Dynamics (Leadership Challenges Series 3/3)

One of the trickiest situations for any new leader is managing former peers. The shift from being “one of the team” to the person responsible for overseeing and guiding that team can create an awkward dynamic if not handled thoughtfully. Your former peers may struggle with the adjustment, uncertain about how your new role will impact their relationship with you. They might question whether you’ll be fair, whether you’ll change, or whether past camaraderie will cloud your judgment.

Let’s look at some Strategies for Leading Former Peers:

1. Acknowledge the Shift.  Don’t ignore the elephant in the room—acknowledge the change in your role directly and transparently. Let them know that you’re aware this transition could feel unusual and that you’re committed to being fair, supportive, and open. Have one-on-one conversations where you address any concerns, inviting them to share their thoughts. This shows maturity and empathy, helping to ease any discomfort.

2. Establish Boundaries Without Sacrificing Connection.  One of the biggest adjustments will involve setting appropriate boundaries while maintaining the connection you’ve built with them. It’s natural to want to keep a friendly rapport, but it’s important to establish professional boundaries, especially regarding work decisions. You’re in a new position of authority, and clarity around roles will prevent misunderstandings. Emphasize that your primary goal is the team’s success and that your decisions will be made with everyone’s best interest in mind.

3. Be Transparent and Fair.  Former peers might worry that favoritism will come into play, especially if your relationships have previously been closer with some team members than others. To counteract this, be as transparent as possible about your decisions and the criteria you’re using. Ensure your approach to work distribution, evaluations, and feedback is clear and fair. Addressing these aspects early on and being consistent will reinforce your credibility as an impartial and effective leader.

4. Maintain Professionalism in All Interactions.  In your new role, professionalism takes on heightened importance. Small comments or gestures that may have been acceptable when you were peers might now be perceived differently. Approach each interaction with respect, clarity, and a bit of formality where needed. This does not mean losing your personality—it means being mindful of the subtle power dynamics and ensuring everyone feels respected and valued.

5. Be Humble and Inclusive.  Lead with humility by acknowledging that you may not have all the answers. Your former peers likely have valuable insights and inviting them to share them demonstrates respect for their experience. Show them that you see this as a collaborative relationship. Phrases like, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this,” or “What would you suggest based on your experience” can encourage open communication and reinforce their trust in your leadership.

6. Celebrate the Team’s Wins, Not Just Your Own.  As you step into this leadership role, focus on celebrating team achievements rather than emphasizing your success. By spotlighting the team’s efforts, you’ll reinforce that you are in this role to support and uplift them rather than assert authority. Former peers will appreciate your focus on their success and your commitment to shared goals.

Leading former peers can be challenging, but it also offers a unique opportunity to demonstrate your leadership skills in a way that builds trust and fosters a collaborative environment.  By acknowledging the shift, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on transparency, you can create a seamless transition. Your goal is to guide the team forward while honoring the relationships and experiences you shared previously. When handled with care, managing former peers can result in stronger, more resilient bonds that benefit the team. 

Quote of the Day: “Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It's about impact, influence, and inspiration.” – Robin Sharma

Question: What’s your approach to leading former peers?  What’s the hardest part for you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you lead former peers?

Being the Only Woman in the Room: Navigating Leadership as a Female Executive Among Male Colleagues (Leadership Challenges Series 2/3)

For many female executives, one of the most challenging aspects of leadership is being the only woman in a room full of men. The dynamics in these situations can sometimes feel like you’re navigating invisible boundaries, where your ideas may be questioned, your authority might be subtly undermined, or your perspective could be overlooked. However, these challenges also present an opportunity to bring a fresh viewpoint, reshape cultural norms, and pave the way for future leaders.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate and thrive as a female leader among male colleagues.

1. Stand Firm in Your Expertise and Accomplishments.  As the only woman, you might feel pressure to “prove” yourself repeatedly, even after demonstrating your proficiencies. Instead, stand firm in your achievements. Resist the urge to minimize your contributions or downplay your success. Speak with confidence and conviction, letting your abilities speak for themselves. When you project self-assurance, others are more likely to respond with respect.

2. Leverage Your Unique Perspective.  Being the only woman allows you to bring a valuable, distinct perspective that might otherwise be missing in decision-making. Use this to your advantage. Your experiences, insights, and ideas are assets that can enhance the team’s strategy and broaden its viewpoints. Whether it’s about understanding diverse customers, advocating for inclusive policies, or simply offering a different take, your voice brings value that enriches the entire team. 

3. Create Alliances and Seek Allies.  Building alliances can be especially helpful in an environment where you’re the minority. Identify colleagues who respect and support your ideas, and look for opportunities to collaborate with them. These allies can help amplify your voice, advocate for your ideas, and offer support in meetings. Finding a mentor within the organization or in your industry can also be invaluable in navigating the nuances of being the only female executive. 

4. Communicate Clearly and Directly.  When leading in a male-dominated environment, clarity and assertiveness are key. Communicate your ideas directly, using concise language to convey your points. Practice speaking confidently and avoid qualifying language that might diminish your authority, such as “I just think…” or “Maybe…” Maintaining clear communication reinforces your credibility and makes your voice heard.

5. Navigate Interruptions and Assert Your Presence. Research has shown that women are often interrupted more than men in professional settings. If this happens, it’s crucial to maintain your presence. Politely but firmly reclaim the floor by saying, “If I can finish this last point and then I’d love to hear your idea” or if they have already interrupted, you can retake the stage by saying “If I can circle back to my point before shifting gears….” Establishing a strong presence ensures that your contributions are not overlooked and bolsters the importance of your input.

6. Use Emotional Intelligence to Build Connections.  Emotional intelligence is a key strength that can help you navigate complex team dynamics. Listening actively, empathizing with colleagues, and reading the room can enhance your ability to build strong connections. Leveraging your emotional intelligence allows you to gain allies, bridge communication gaps, and cultivate a collaborative environment that values diverse perspectives.

7. Lead by Example and Advocate for Inclusion.  As a trailblazer, you have the unique opportunity to set a positive example for future female leaders and to champion inclusion. By endorsing policies that support diversity, equity, and inclusion, you create a workplace culture where everyone feels valued. Being open about your experiences as the only woman in the room can foster dialogue and inspire change within the organization. 

Being the only woman in the room may present obstacles, but it also gives you a platform to lead with authenticity and influence change.  By asserting your expertise, building alliances, and communicating confidently, you can command respect and make a lasting impact. This journey requires resilience, self-assurance, and a dedication to lifting others as you rise.  Remember, you’re not only paving the way for your success but for the many female leaders who will follow in your footsteps. 

Question: Have you ever been the only in a room?  If so, how have you handled it? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you! 

Quote of the day: "Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence." – Sheryl Sandberg

The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on another leadership challenge of leading former peers. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Do You Lead as the Only in the Room?

Leading the Unfamiliar: Navigating Age, Expertise, and Intelligence in Leadership (Leadership Challenge Series 1/3)

Stepping into a leadership role is a major achievement, whether you’re a seasoned professional or newly promoted. But with the title comes the challenge of leading diverse teams—including those who may be older, more experienced, or even perceived as “smarter.” While these situations might seem daunting, they’re also incredible opportunities to grow as a leader and strengthen your team. Each scenario requires careful navigation rooted in trust, relationship-building, and an unwavering commitment to growth.

Let’s look at common leadership challenges and strategies to navigate them effectively.

Challenge #1:  Leading People Older Than You
When managing someone older, it’s natural to wonder if they’ll take you seriously, especially if there’s a significant age gap. As a younger leader, you might worry they’ll see your age as lacking experience or knowledge. This perception can lead to insecurities, but it’s essential to acknowledge your capabilities. Remember that you were promoted for a reason. Checking your doubts and showing confidence in your role can go a long way in establishing your authority without arrogance.

Strategies

·      Acknowledge Experience: Begin by recognizing their expertise and asking for their insights. This shows respect and opens the door for collaboration. Engaging in one-on-one conversations where you discuss team goals and solicit their input helps get everyone on the same page.

·      Be Confident, Yet Appropriately Vulnerable: Confidence and vulnerability are critical. Don’t shy away from admitting when you don’t know something. By being honest, you create space for mutual respect and demonstrate that you value their experience. 

·      Practice Generosity: Support their growth and celebrate their achievements. Leaders who generously share credit and give meaningful feedback cultivate trust and admiration. Recognize that older team members may have different needs or life responsibilities—do what you can to support them. 

Challenge #2: Leading People with More Expertise
Sometimes, leaders are brought in for their people skills or strategic vision rather than technical expertise. This can be challenging when team members know more about the technical details than you do. The key is to use your role to empower their abilities rather than trying to compete with them. 

Strategies

·      Leverage Their Knowledge: Seek their input on technical aspects and clarify that you value their expertise. This builds credibility and enables you to lead effectively without needing to be the subject matter expert.

·      Promote Open Communication: Encourage regular discussions to allow for knowledge-sharing. Facilitate an environment where questions and ideas flow freely and demonstrate that you’re there to support their work.

·      Stay Committed to Learning: Continuously develop your knowledge in areas relevant to your team. Participate in workshops, stay updated on industry trends, and seek feedback. This shows a dedication to growth that helps bridge any perceived gaps in expertise.

Challenge #3 Leading People Who Are Smarter Than You
Intelligence takes many forms. Some of your team members might excel in analytics and strategic thinking or possess highly specialized knowledge. In such cases, your role isn’t about competing intellectually but facilitating a culture where everyone’s strengths are maximized.

Strategies

·      Be an Advocate for Team Success: Instead of focusing on individual achievements, champion the team’s collective intelligence. Emphasize shared goals and celebrate each person’s unique contributions.

·      Encourage Collaboration: Inspire your team to share ideas and problem-solve together. When intelligent individuals work as a unit, you create a resilient team better equipped to handle challenges.

·      Showcase Adaptability: Adaptability and resilience are essential leadership traits that often resonate with highly intelligent individuals. Share stories of overcoming obstacles, demonstrate flexibility in the face of new information, and actively engage in problem-solving. This conveys your strength as a leader committed to personal and team growth.

Ultimately, leadership isn’t about age, expertise, or who’s “smartest” in the room. I t’s about building trust, leveraging each person’s strengths, and guiding the team toward shared success. As a leader, your responsibility is to foster an environment where every team member feels seen, heard, and empowered.

Quote: "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. [They] are the ones that get the people to do the greatest things."  – Ronald Reagan

Question: How do you handle leading people older or more experienced than you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series will focus on another leadership challenge of being the only woman in the room.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills and navigate tricky situations, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Do You Lead Those Senior Than You?

Top Tips for Effective Help Requests (leadership vulnerability 5/5)

Our previous blog explored the nuances of seeking support and the importance of doing so effectively.  Building on that discussion, this article dives deeper into actionable tips for maximizing the impact of your help requests.

Here are some invaluable tips to consider when reaching out for assistance:

1. Identify the Right Person.  Start with people near or below your level or those designed to address specific queries in departments like Legal, Finance, or HR.   

2. Get the Timing Right.  Be sure to choose the least disruptive time, not while they are eating lunch or just getting ready for a big meeting.  You can say, “Would you have a minute after tomorrow’s meeting to answer a few questions?”  If you notice they have a pattern of answering emails in the morning, you can reach out to them then.  Your priorities are not somebody else’s emergencies, so you want them to pick the best time.  When you see somebody working and ask if they have a minute, but it is really 10 minutes, it is disingenuous.  Instead, you can say, “I had a couple of questions on this topic, it is not a rush but if you have time later in the week or next, I’d love to schedule 15 minutes to talk through my thinking.”

3. Bundle Your Questions.  If you have a series of questions, collect multiple queries to streamline communication and avoid unnecessary interruptions.   It would be better to have five questions at one time, than to have a single question asked on four separate occasions.

4. Take Good Notes.  When they assist, actively listen and document information to enhance comprehension and avoid repeated inquiries. 

5. Be Specific About Your Ask.  Outline your goals, a list of things you have tried, the blocks you are experiencing, and the kind of help you seek in what time frame because it lets people know if they are the right person to help.  If they offer assistance that is not what you are seeking because it could cause more work or will not solve the problem, thank them for the offer and reiterate the specific kind of help that you are seeking, what you were planning on doing next and that you will reevaluate if you decide to pursue that avenue.

6. Build your Board of Directors.  Instead of seeking help when needed, building a group of advisors or informal mentors you can go to for anything if problems arise is instrumental.  Author and Wharton Professor Adam Grant has a Challenge Network: whenever he wants to pressure test an idea, he will contact his networks to get advice or a different perspective.  A contract with the group is in place, so it normalizes any requested help.  It’s nice when you can put in the subject line, I need your help, and within minutes, you have responses because that’s how the group operates.

7. When You Want to Create a Culture of Asking for Help.  Normalize seeking support in your team or organization by integrating processes that encourage open communication. Some companies start Monday meetings off with gives and gets.  “As we enter this week, what is one request you have and something you could provide.”  All go around and share.

8. Show Gratitude and Acknowledge their Help.  After you have gotten the help you need, circle back and let them know the impact of your help.  It can be as little as an email,” I appreciate you taking the time to explain this concept to me, given how busy you are with…”  When you mention what’s on their plate, they take notice.  People also love hearing how their advice, when accepted, is helpful; they enjoy sharing information that makes a difference.  It will increase the odds of them wanting to help again. If their help was more substantial, you could even give them a small thoughtful gift as a nice touch.   

9. Be Available to Help.  There will likely be a time when your coworker needs help solving a problem.  Plan on doing something to help them whenever the opportunity arises. This contributes to goodwill, cements this help norm going forward, and creates a working environment centered around teamwork.

10. Avoid unhelpful Prefaces:

·      Trapping people - “May I ask you a favor?”  It’s almost like they have to say yes because if they say no without knowing the favor, they can come off as non-collaborative.

·      Offering apologies - “I feel terrible asking you for this,” can make the experience seem less positive.

·      Emphasize reciprocation – “I’ll help you if you help me”.  It can also backfire because people prefer to avoid being indebted to anyone or to engage in a purely transactional exchange.

·      Minimizing your need - “I don’t normally ask for help” or “It’s just a tiny thing”—is equally unproductive because it suggests the assistance is trivial or unnecessary.

Recognize that no one has all the answers, and that's perfectly okay.  By tapping into the collective wisdom of your colleagues and mentors, you unlock a wealth of knowledge and insights that propel both individual and organizational success.

Quote of the day: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." - Mahatma Gandhi

Question:  Who is on your Board of Directors?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

When do you know it’s time to ask for help?

How to Ask for Help (leadership vulnerability 4/5)

The previous article discussed the hurdles and rewards of seeking help; this blog will delve into practical scenarios and approaches for asking for assistance effectively.

1. When You Have No Idea What You’re Doing: 

1A. Show your work & get clarity.  Be sure to do your homework before just asking because if it is something that you can figure out yourself, you want to stay away from those questions.  Asking somebody and they look on the internet to find the answer in 30 seconds will show you should have taken that step.  Make sure to consider simple options; many people try to break down doors when they have not even checked if it is unlocked.

1B. Start by looking through your available resources – inbox, team folder, and company intranet.  You do not need to spend extensive time here, but briefly perusing may get you the correct information.  Know your limitations; do not torture yourself for hours or days before getting the help because people value efficiency.  Dedicate a reasonable time you want to spend digging into the work yourself. You don’t want your boss to wonder why you did not come to her sooner to get a little help that would have unblocked and expedited the whole process.  Also, if you try to do it yourself when you have no idea, it can turn out wrong, and you will have wasted your time.

When you do ask for help because you have no idea, you can share with them where you looked and what you tried so you are viewed as being resourceful.  You can say, “I’ve explored our resources and consulted with Sam but I still have questions.  I would love to get more clarity on the details of the XYZ project. Could we set a time to sit down, talk through the nuts and bolts of this assignment, and make sure we’re on the same page?”

2. When You Have Too Much on Your Plate.  It happens to the best of us. You say yes to every project because you want to be helpful, and now you’re completely buried.  You’ve reached your limit, and you know there’s no way you’ll finish everything by the deadline, even if you pulled all-nighters for the next three weeks.  Request some assistance from your other coworkers.  You may feel like you’re shirking responsibility.  But everyone has been in this situation at least once in their life. You can say, “I don’t like feeling like I’m trying to pass off work, but I’m swamped.  If you have any extra time, would you mind helping me with the XYZ aspect of this project or  “I know that’s your area of expertise; Would you mind lending a hand or providing guidance?”

3. When You Made a Mistake.  Mistakes are inevitable; when they happen, do not try to cover them up and hope nobody will notice.  If you need help fixing your slip-up, approach the appropriate people immediately.  Mistakes can be meaningful learning experiences, and you build skills when you work with colleagues to resolve such issues.  Asking for help when you make a mistake can also help you develop problem-solving strategies.  “I made an error on the report on this project.  Can you assist me in rectifying it?  Your expertise would be invaluable.”

4. When You Need Additional Expertise or Insight.  So, if you’re working on a projectyou think could greatly benefit from the additional input of your co-workers, do not hesitate to ask them to lend their advice and talents.  It fosters collaboration among your team members and helps make your project the best it can be.  You can say, “I’m working on XYZ project, and I’d love your expert insight into this area.  Can we set up a time to chat and bounce ideas off each other?  I think your input could take this project to the next level!”

4A. Contextualize Your Inquiry When Possible.  Instead of asking, how do I complete this form, you can ask, “I know there has been a change in some processes lately, is this the correct form to complete for this engagement?” 

4B. Prepare Solutions and Attempts.  Your coworkers and supervisors may be more likely to help you if you have tried to resolve the issue and have some possible solutions you can try.  Doing so shows that you have been attempting to manage the challenge independently, giving your colleagues a place to start when they offer suggestions.  Having these prepared as you approach your colleagues for assistance also shows your competence and problem-solving skills while giving them insight into your issue.

4C. Offer Options with Recommendations.  If the question is subjective about what to do next or the best approach, and there are no right or wrong answers, only better or worse approaches, instead of asking open-ended questions, such as what do you suggest, you can provide a menu for them to react to.  For example, “I know this customer has had a pivot and is focused on that.  As such, I narrowed the best approach to this campaign as A, B, and C.  Here are the pros and cons for each.  I recommend A for these reasons.  It would be great to get help on the approach.”  You can also ask, “Am I thinking about it in the right way, or do you feel differently?  Giving them a menu of options enables them to assess your ideas quickly, and, if needed, come up with a few of their own.

Embracing the art of seeking help is a testament to humility and adaptability.  By leveraging our peer’s collective knowledge and experience, we foster a culture of collaboration and continuous improvement.

Quote of the day: "It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." - John P. Kotter

Question:  What strategies have you found most effective in seeking support?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!  

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 5/5 will focus on top tips to consider when requesting help.

How do you ask for help?

Why Asking for Help Matters (leadership vulnerabilities 3/5)

In our professional journeys, we inevitably encounter moments of uncertainty and challenge.  Though asking for help may initially feel daunting, it unveils many personal and organizational benefits.  Let’s explore the concerns, rewards, and strategies associated with seeking assistance in the workplace.

Concerns with Asking for Help:

1. We can Feel Self-Reliant.  If we are used to being self-sufficient, figuring things out, and getting all things done, suddenly feeling like we want or need assistance from others can be hard and feel humbling, challenging our sense of autonomy and competence.

2. It’s Uncomfortable.  There are social risks we can encounter in asking for help, we may fear rejection, and if we do need help and others do not help us, we can feel disappointed or even resentful if we have assisted in the past.  We also worry about our perception; we want to look good and competent.

The fear of rejection and concerns about perception may deter us from reaching out for support, fostering discomfort and reluctance.

3. We View it as a Sign of Weakness.  We want to put our best foot forward.  If we are starting a new job, we want to ensure they hire us for a reason.  When we ask for help, it is a failure because we should know what to do and how to do it.  We can feel like we have a diminished status because they know something we don’t know.   

4. Worried about Getting the Wrong Kind of Help.  Sometimes, you can ask somebody, and they can offer help in their particular and rigid way rather than in the way you prefer to the point where it does not even feel like help anymore.  It can create more work and stress in the process and have us regret asking in the first place.

5. Don’t Want to Owe Anybody Anything.  If we ask for help, we may feel like we must return the favor or will have something held over our heads.

6. Uncertainty in Seeking Guidance.  You may not know where to start with your help and you do not want to ask the wrong person, thereby exposing your incompetence if you do not have to, so we feel it is better to remain silent than foolish for speaking up in the first place. 

Benefits of Asking for Help

1. Acquisition of New Skills.  Seeking assistance fosters learning and skill development, enabling individuals to expand their knowledge base and enhance proficiency.  By asking, you learn expectations and processes that will allow you to do your job more effectively.

2. Facilitation of Career Progression.  It’s virtually impossible to advance in modern organizations without assistance from others.  Cross-functional teams, fragile project management techniques, matrixed or hierarchy-minimizing structures, and increasingly collaborative office cultures require you to constantly push for the cooperation and support of your managers, peers, and Directs.  Your performance, development, and career progression depend more than ever on seeking the advice, referrals, and resources you need.  Rhonda Morris, Head of Human Resources at Chevron, said that asking for help is a sign of strength because it shows that you are engaged, taking ownership, and signaling that you can deliver the work asked of you.

3. Effective Workload Management.  Sometimes, when you ask for help, you can learn the cause of the overload and overwhelm and redesign your work for more efficient scheduling.  You may also find that some of your coworkers handle tasks better than others, which can lead to a more even distribution of work.

4. Enhanced Productivity and Efficiency.  Asking for help allows your coworkers to recognize your limitations and build most robust workflows for the team, which can improve productivity for the overall company when they are managing resources efficiently.

5. Strengthen Relationships with your Coworkers and Supervisors.  You build camaraderie by acknowledging your colleagues' specializations and expertise while working toward a common goal.  Many enjoy helping their peers; asking for help can build those relationships.  By not asking others for help, you are depriving them of the good feeling they get from helping.  Also, it benefits the person providing help.  When we request help, we allow others to share their knowledge and expertise, which can be incredibly fulfilling for them.  It strengthens relationships and builds trust, creating a culture of reciprocity and collaboration.

6. Build Psychological Safety & A Collaborative Work Environment.  Psychological safety pertains to the belief that one can take interpersonal risks, such as asking questions or for help, or admitting mistakes, without facing negative consequences.  When employees feel safe, they are more likely to seek assistance, enhancing team collaboration and problem-solving.  Recent studies have demonstrated that teams with high levels of psychological safety tend to outperform those with lower levels.  Moreover, employees in these environments experience lower stress levels and greater job satisfaction, leading to increased productivity and overall organizational success.  The process can build goodwill between you and your coworkers as you recognize their expertise and reinforce that your team is working toward the same goals.  In this environment, asking for help becomes a natural part of the learning process rather than something to be feared or avoided.  When people are invested in each other’s success, creativity and innovation blossoms.

Embracing the art of asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to strength, resilience, and a commitment to continuous growth.  We unlock our full potential and foster a culture of collaboration and excellence by harnessing the collective expertise and support within our professional networks.

Quote of the day: "The strong individual is the one who asks for help when they need it." - Rona Barrett

Question:  How do you like to ask for help?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 4/5 will focus on tactics for asking for help.

The Importance of Help - When do you Ask?

Effective Strategies for Handling ‘I Don’t Know’ Moments (leadership vulnerabilities 2/5)

In the previous blog, we delved into the concerns and benefits of embracing the phrase “I don’t know.” This article will explore practical strategies and scripts for employing those words confidently and gracefully in various scenarios.

Common Scenarios and Responses:

1. When Asked a Factual Question in a Meeting.  It happens to us all, we may be behind on our research, our minds may go blank, or we simply don’t know.  Here are some approaches to take and scripts to use:

·      “That’s exactly what I’m seeking to answer.”  This shows your boss that you are with them, and the information will be forthcoming.

·      “Let me find out” or “Let me look into that and get back to you with what I discover.”  Or “Great question; let me prioritize a response and circle back.”  When expressed in a supportive and self-assured way, you say you are willing to work to locate the answer.  You show yourself as cooperative, valuable, and a resourceful team player.

·      “I want to ensure I have the most updated information, let me confirm with you by 5 pm today,” or “That’s a good question, and I want to give you an accurate response; let me get back to you by the end of day.”   This shows that you are on top of this work, and it is fast moving, so you want to return with all the correct information.

·      If you have a general idea, you can respond at a high level and avoid specifics. 

o   For example, if somebody asks how the campaign went you can say, “Initial numbers showed it went well, but let me dig into it more, run some reports, and send exact figures to you by the end of the day/week.”  This shows you as somebody who airs on the side of providing accurate information.

·      As a leader, you may not know the ins and outs of every project in your department, let alone your function, that’s ok, you can redirect your response to another.

o   “I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer that.”  Then you follow up with the person you think is most appropriate.  If the person is in the meeting, you can turn to them, “Jill, I know you are running lead on this project; what information do you have now that you might share?”  Or you can say, “My information suggests that Jill would have better insights on this topic; let me turn it over to him.” 

o   If the person is not at the meeting, you can say, “let me connect you to Bill.  He has been doing a great job leading this project, and I want him to provide the most updated information.”

2. When Asked an Opinion Question.  For example, “What is your take on remote work,” and you do not have an established perspective yet:

·      If you have no idea, you can say: “That is an interesting and complex question.  I want to ensure I give it the full attention it deserves; let me ponder it a little more and follow up with my thoughts.”  Or “let me flush out my thoughts once I have the headspace to give this more direct consideration.”

·      If you have a vague idea, you can say, “That is a good question, I can briefly share my preliminary thoughts, but I want to reflect on this question longer and get back to you when I organize my ideas even more.”  Or, “I have a vague idea but want to reflect on this question longer to provide a detailed perspective.”

·      If you want to enlist others’ perspectives or if you simply are unsure where to look, you can say, “Thank you for the question; I appreciate you bringing it up.  I do not have a strong perspective on the topic right now, but I’m curious to learn what others think?”  Or “I have that same question, what thoughts do you or the rest of you have?”

·      When you know of the best person to answer, “Why don’t we ask Bob, this is a topic they have been living and breathing so it would be helpful to start with their perspective.

3. When Asked a Question Adjacent to the Topic.  If you are presenting on a topic and know everything about it but get asked a question about something tangential.  For example, “How does the program you’re proposing for one target group impact another?”

·      “We haven’t studied working parents, but here’s what I can tell you / what I know: Seniors, whom the grant designated as the target audience, responded favorably in our initial studies.” This strategy brings the discussion back on topic and ensures that all your hard work and research are not wasted.

·      “My best guess would be this…” You can offer an explanation based on what you know, a working hypothesis or a few ideas that can be a launching point for a brainstorming session.

·      I’ll note this for further investigation; let’s return to our main topic.

4. When You Want to Empower the Team to Find the Answer.  You can ask probing questions to get a clearer picture or guide them toward finding solutions.  Your actions will also have demonstrated your commitment to finding an answer, and your team will respect this.  Such questions include:

·      “What else have they read or been told about the issue?”  

·      “What have you tried to do, and how did it go?”  

·      “How important is the issue and its connection to our key priorities?  

·      “Who is impacted by this the most, and what is the cost if nothing changes?”

·      That’s an interesting concept; how would you go about testing the idea?

·      I’m curious to learn what others think.

5. When Asked a Question that Sort of Makes Sense.  Don’t assume you should know the answer, ask them questions to get more information to possibly react to or you can refer them to another team.  You can say,

·       “Can you provide more context?”

·       “That’s an interesting question.  What’s driving it?”

·       "I'm not entirely sure.  Can you point me in the right direction, or do you know someone who might have the answer?"

·       "I'm not familiar with this topic, but there are experts in our team/department who will likely be able to assist you."

6. If You Already Responded and Were Unhappy with It.

·      You can say, “I tend to be a deeper processor, I do not like to fire off my first thoughts, but instead take my time with concepts to think about.  Let me ponder this more and offer my revised thoughts next time we connect.

·      “Let me take some additional time; my best ideas usually emerge on the drive home or while I’m making dinner, let me get back to you on my point of view a little later.”

·      “My best ideas happen with reflection.  Let me get back to you once I’ve had the time to do that.”

7. When Asks a Question that Does Not Deserve a Response.  Some people ask questions just to derail the agenda, embarrass, or trap you.  They pose absurd hypothetical questions that are unrelated, so do not feel like you have to play their game and answer them.  You can say:

·      “That question will take us in a different direction, I’m happy to meet with you later to discuss this topic or focus on your specific interest.”

·      “Thank you for the question, let’s connect offline to address it in detail, or I want to be mindful of time and stick to the agenda topics for this meeting.”

8. When you Do Not Know an Answer and Should not be Expected to Know.  You can say.

·      This is out of my purview; I’d recommend consulting with John in Finance for the best response.”

When you say ‘I don’t’ know’ with honesty and confidence, without sacrificing integrity, you seize the opportunity to showcase humility and earn respect from others.

Quote of the day: "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know." - Albert Einstein

Question:  How have you seen others respond in similar situations that might be helpful to you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you! 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 3/5 will focus on the concerns and benefits of asking for help.

The Power of ‘I Don’t Know’

Embracing the Power of ‘I Don’t Know’ in Leadership (leadership vulnerability 1/5)

Why do we find it challenging to utter the phrase, ‘I don't know?’ In leadership roles, there's often a pressure to have all the answers, as if uncertainty is a sign of weakness.  However, hiding our lack of knowledge can lead to hastily provided, potentially inaccurate responses.  Let's explore the challenges and concerns of admitting ignorance and the remarkable benefits of embracing this vulnerability.

Challenges and Concerns with Using the Phase.

1. Overcoming the Fear of Incompetence.  Admitting not knowing can make us feel vulnerable, especially when we think we should have the answers.  Some of us carry childhood experiences of being shamed for not knowing; a fellow classmate or teacher who made an example of us, so we may have a reluctance to appear unprepared or inexperienced.

2. Dealing with Vulnerability.  It's uncomfortable to operate from ignorance, as we often prefer to showcase our strengths.  Acknowledging gaps in our knowledge can sting our pride and challenge our sense of competence. 

Despite these genuine concerns, the upsides of saying "I don't know" far outweigh the downsides.  Let’s explore the benefits of embracing uncertainty:

1. Casts a Perception of Being Genuine and Trustworthy.  Admitting uncertainty comes across as sincere.  Conversely, pretending to know when we do not erode trust.  Some people speak so much and show an abundance of confidence, but that should not be confused with competence.  The babble hypothesis proposes that people who talk more in groups, no matter what they say, are more likely to be considered leaders by group members.  So extroverted people will talk more and consequently be considered leaders, but it is only a matter of time before people are on to their empty assurances.  To gain respect, it is better to show yourself as a straight shooter and not someone who makes things up along the way.

2. Increases Credibility and Relationships.  People tend to trust individuals who are honest about their limitations.  Saying ‘I don't know’ can strengthen trust with colleagues, clients, and superiors.  When you pretend, you can harm relationships.  Wharton Professor and Author Adam Grant tells a story of when he was in his mid-20s and was asked to teach a class on motivation to about 50 Air Force Generals. At the end of the first session, he got harsh feedback.  One person said, “There was more knowledge in the audience than on the podium.”  Another added, “I got nothing from this session, but I trust the instructor got useful insights.”  Grant was devastated and wanted to quit but already committed to a second session with another group a week later.  He asked around to find out the one thing he could change in the next session, and they all said how he introduced himself.   Instead of pretending he knew everything in a room full of experts, he showed himself as somebody trying to establish his credentials.  So, when he introduced himself, he opened with, “I know what you are thinking: what can I learn from this professor who is 12 years old.”   After a long silence, somebody broke the ice and said, “You got to be at least 13.”  The room laughed and created a much better beginning, which led to higher ratings the second time.  It is because it is better to admit what he did not know than to claim he knows a lot of stuff or provide speculative information because that would damage his credibility. 

3. Empowers Others.  By recognizing boundaries, we invite others to step up and contribute their expertise.  It encourages others to think critically and share their knowledge, which leads to more robust discussions and better decision-making.  Also, when we feel like we do not need to have all the answers and our team is taking on more of the work, we can be freed to focus on unblocking and engaging in more strategic work that only we can do, and that pushes the organization forward.  Alan Mullaly, CEO of Ford Motor Company and Former President of Boeing, said that the job of a leader is not to come in with all the answers.  It is to find the people in the organization who have the answers and make a path clearer so they can excel.

4. Cultivates Teamwork.  Acknowledging we lack answers creates an environment where colleagues feel comfortable doing the same.  This open environment invites various people to share and be free with their disclosures, even if they are unorthodox or outlandish, which usually leads to the most creative and innovative ideas.  A culture of teamwork is created, where individuals support each other and collectively seek solutions, ultimately enhancing organizational effectiveness. 

5. Avoids Giving Wrong Information.  Offering inaccurate information can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and costly mistakes.  Saying ‘I don't know’ prevents the spread of incorrect information.  Most people are not expecting immediate answers, so we can take that pressure off ourselves and trade fast answers with sound decision-making and more accurate ones, which will build credibility.

6. Alleviates Stress. Pretending to know something when we do not can lead to unnecessary stress. We can worry ourselves with these questions: Are they going to ask a follow-up question? Are they going to offer contradictory information? When am I going to get exposed, and what will be the consequences? Admitting uncertainty relieves this pressure, allowing us to focus on finding accurate solutions rather than maintaining a facade. 

7. Fosters Learning and Humility.  Admitting your limitations can be a catalyst for personal and professional growth.  It creates opportunities to seek answers, learn from others, and improve your skills and knowledge.  The truth is, no matter how knowledgeable we are, the business world is too complex and nuanced to know it all.   Acknowledging your lack of knowledge reflects humility and garners respect from colleagues and superiors who appreciate your openness to new information.  We show others that we are building more of a culture of knowledge seekers than a know-it-all culture.

While admitting ‘I don't know’ may initially feel uncomfortable, it offers numerous benefits for effective leadership and organizational success.  By embracing vulnerability and prioritizing honesty, leaders can foster trust, collaboration, and innovation within their teams.

Quote of the day: “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” ―Socrates

Question:  Tell us about a time when you shared how you didn’t know something; how did it impact the situation?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The following blog in this series 2/5 will focus on practical strategies for sharing when you don’t know.

How do you say, ‘I don’t know?’

Elevating Your Networking Game: Best Practices and Proven Methods (networking series 3/4)

Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting your career path, mastering these networking techniques can propel you toward your goals with confidence and purpose.

Before Networking Beings: Prepare for Success:

1. Craft Your Elevator Pitch.  The question, “What do you do,” is one that many dread because they do not like talking about themselves or are not sure how to do it effectively.  Instead of responding with your profession, “I’m a Product Engineer,” you can talk about the problem you solve or the passion that drives you before sharing your role.  You should deliver it succinctly in less than 90 seconds and choose a starting point that resonates with your audience's interests.

1A. Start with the Problem.  For example, “Most small businesses fail; I am a VP at X company focused on helping budding entrepreneurs be successful. I teach them to write impactful business plans, perfect their pitches, and get seed funding so they can beat the odds and live their dream as a business owner depositing positive impact.”

1B. Start with Passion.  Share your enthusiasm for your work and its impact.  For example, “I live to make other people successful.  As a Communication Coach, I help business leaders with their executive presence so they are noticed in the boardroom, inspirational speeches so they can empower their teams to do great things, and influencing skills to better collaborate with their stakeholders to get work done.  If you wanted to start with your role before sharing your passion, you could say, “As a Sr. Director of Member Experiences, I am passionate about championing technology to solve business problems and creating delightful customer experiences.  One product I helped to create recently positively impacted customers as they were able to… .”

2. Define your Current Networking Goal.  Clarify your objectives, whether finding a mentor, advancing your career, growing your business, or building a professional support network.  Understanding what success looks like enables you to network with intention. 

3. Identify Key Contacts.  If you are attending a big event, it can be overwhelming not to have a plan.  However, if you can access the invite list and research and target individuals who align with your goals before attending, that can be effective. You can even email them in advance about your excitement in connecting.   This proactive approach will save time and energy, especially for introverts who can quickly get drained.  Instead of being exhausted by a 2–3-hour event, if you have met your goal and had three meaningful connections, you can leave after 40 minutes to not get burned out by the experience.  While this is just a tentative plan, if you meet people who are not on your list and the interaction is fruitful, you can also consider that a success. 

4. Prepare Your Ask.   If an opportunity presents itself, for example, they say, “I love what you are trying to do; how can I help you?”  It would be a missed chance if you had nothing meaningful to ask.  You may want an introduction with their peer or an opportunity to connect again to learn about their career journey because you want to make a similar shift.  When in doubt, asking for learning and connection opportunities is always good.

5. Define your Offer.  Consider 1-3 things you can offer in case they need assistance.  It is essential to understand your time constraints so you can provide an appropriate offer with the allotted time you have to spare.  

5. Create a List of questions.  Prepare a few engaging questions to facilitate meaningful conversations.  Having them ready in advance alleviates the pressure and fosters genuine interactions.  This will be the focus of the next article.

6. Craft Short stories.  You can prepare 1-2 interesting anecdotes to captivate your audience and illustrate your experiences.   You can reuse the same tales in different settings, and as you continue to network, you can gain inspiration to create more based on what others share so you can enhance your repertoire.

During Networking: Navigating Conversations with Finesse

1. Ask Thoughtful Questions.  It is refreshing to get asked questions that are not frequently asked.  Instead of doing what others do by asking typical inquiries such as, “What do you do,” you can encourage meaningful dialogue, “What’s your favorite part of your work?  “What’s been energizing you personally and professionally this month?  What’s the last thing you learned?"  What’s one way you hope to grow this year?”  You can lead the way by responding first to foster authentic exchanges.

2. Demonstrate Active Listening Skills.  Dale Carnegie says to be interested rather than interesting.  The sentiment concerns allowing others to talk, not just dominating the conversation.  When you listen to people, you are not cued up with the next thing to say; instead, you are picking up on something important and asking follow-up questions.  It is always helpful to listen to what they value or to the bigger picture and give them opportunities to talk more about that.

3. Find shared interests.  Find common ground to establish rapport and deepen connection.  They may mention that they just returned from traveling to a city and you had a fantastic experience there.  You can share a memorable restaurant and discover your love of food or the beauty of the city.  Small talk can lead to significant discoveries and lay the foundation for meaningful relationships.  For example, you learn it always snows where they live and ask how they take advantage of that weather.  They respond with their passion for skiing, which you happen to share, you will have much to explore on that topic.  Or that they live in a town with popular sports teams, and you can connect over that.

4. Offer Appropriate Vulnerability.  Share relatable anecdotes or experiences.  There is a phenomenon called the Beautiful Mess Effect, put forth by a team of psychologists writing in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which states that contrary to our worst fears, having the courage to show our vulnerabilities is often rewarded and viewed more favorably by others.  When sharing a time that you screwed up in a low-risk way or something similar can breed trust and strengthen the relationship.

Post-Networking: Sustaining and Nurturing Connection

1. Send Follow-up Messages.  Reach out to those you connected with, expressing gratitude and suggesting future interactions.  For example, “It was great meeting you. I enjoyed what you said about X, and I’d love to connect again; you mentioned you would be at the X conference in 2 months; maybe we can grab lunch there?  If you do not have an event coming up, consider following up every few months.  Building networks, while important, never feels urgent, and when you consistently reach out, you lay the foundation to develop strong relationships long before you might need anything. 

2. Reach Out to Missed Connections.  Do not hesitate to contact individuals you intended to meet but did not have the chance to connect with.  Express your interest in engaging further and propose alternative meeting options.  For example, “I attended this event and was looking forward to chatting with you because of your work in this area; I’d still love a chance to connect via Zoom or set up a coffee chat.  Please let me know if a time window might work best for your schedule; I am happy to accommodate whatever might work for you.”

3. Maintain a Tracker.  Keep a record of your networking interactions, including dates, where you met them, topics discussed, and follow-up actions such as when you would like to connect next and over what topic.  If you are finding interesting articles that they may enjoy, you can send them to keep the connection alive, but be sure to personalize the message and be thoughtful about what you are sending.  I know you said you were traveling to Belgium next month. I came across this interesting article about this new exhibit that opened, and I thought you might enjoy it given your love of art.

Record your networking interactions, including dates, topics discussed, and follow-up actions.  Regularly update and review your tracker to stay on top of your networking efforts.

By implementing these strategies, you can navigate networking with confidence and purpose, unlocking numerous opportunities along the way.  Networking is not just about making connections—it's about cultivating meaningful relationships that can enrich your personal and professional life.

Quote of the day: “Your network is your net worth.” -Peter Gale

Question:  What’s your best networking strategy?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The final blog in this series 4/4 will focus on effective networking questions and frameworks.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities. Contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you network effectively?