Most executives overprepare the content and underprepare the conversation. They know their material cold. What they haven't thought through is how to open, how to frame, when to ask instead of tell, and what to do when the room pushes back. That gap — between a strong idea and a strong influence moment — is what this article addresses.
Strategies for Influence in Action
1. Lead with the point, not the buildup. Most leaders — even experienced ones — default to building context first: they walk through the background, layer in the evidence, and arrive at the point at the end. It feels thorough. To a busy executive audience, it reads as uncertain.
Barbara Minto, whose Pyramid Principle became the communication backbone of McKinsey and remains one of the most influential frameworks in executive communication, argued the opposite: lead with the conclusion, then support it. In a senior meeting, you may get interrupted, redirected, or pulled into a side conversation before you finish. If your point comes last, it may never land. If it comes first, at minimum it's been heard — and everything that follows strengthens it. Start with your recommendation, your ask, or your position. Then give them the two or three most compelling reasons. Your audience doesn't need the full story to engage — they need a clear signal of where you stand and why.
2. Match your approach to the audience and the moment. Influence is not one-size-fits-all, and at the executive level the stakes of misreading the room are higher. Three orientations are worth knowing:
When working cross-functionally with peers who have competing priorities, a bridging approach — building coalitions, making selective concessions, finding the shared win — is usually more effective than asserting your position. When you're in a crisis and decisive action is needed, an asserting approach signals confidence and clarity. When you're influencing a data-driven leader — a CFO, a COO, a board member — a convincing approach anchored in logic, evidence, and expertise is what earns credibility. The executives who influence well have all three in their toolkit and know which one the moment calls for.
3. Ask and enroll rather than tell. One of the most common influence mistakes I see at the senior level is arriving with the answer. It signals confidence but closes down collaboration — and it puts people in the position of evaluating your solution rather than co-creating one.
A client of mine — a SVP at a large media company — learned this the hard way. He walked into a senior leadership meeting with a fully formed proposal for a new operating model, backed by months of research. The room pushed back immediately. Not because the idea was wrong, but because the other leaders felt they were being presented a verdict rather than invited into a conversation. When he brought the same idea back two weeks later as a set of observations and questions — what are you seeing in your teams? what's working, what isn't? how might we design something better together? — the dynamic shifted entirely. The proposal that emerged was stronger, and it had co-owners.
Asking isn't weakness. At the executive level, it's one of the most sophisticated influence moves available.
4. Define the win — and make it shared. It's one thing to articulate what you want. It's another to define what success looks like for everyone in the room. Adam Grant's research on influence points to a consistent finding: appeals to shared purpose and collective benefit are more durable than appeals to individual interest. The framing that moves people isn't "here's what I need" — it's "here's what we all stand to gain, and here's what it costs us if we don't act."
A useful discipline: before any significant influence moment, map the win three ways. How does the company win? How does the other team or stakeholder win? How does your team win? If you can't answer all three, the proposal isn't ready. And if you can, you've just built your most compelling argument.
5. Speak in "we," not "I." Language signals intent. "I need you to prioritize this" frames the conversation as a transaction. "We have an opportunity to solve this together" frames it as a partnership. At the executive level, where zero-sum dynamics are always lurking beneath the surface, inclusive language is a deliberate choice — not a soft one. It signals that you're optimizing for the outcome, not the credit.
6. Control the frame before someone else does. Whoever sets the context shapes how everything that follows gets interpreted. Walking into a room without a clear frame means someone else will provide one — and it may not serve you. Strong executive communicators set the perspective early: here's what we're solving for, here's why it matters now, here's how I'd like us to think about it together. That framing does more influence work than most of the content that follows it.
7. Lead with evidence, but don't hide behind it. Data is necessary but not sufficient. At the executive level, decision-makers expect evidence — but they're also evaluating your judgment about which evidence matters and what it means. Citing relevant research, referencing industry benchmarks, or pointing to what trusted internal leaders have already endorsed all strengthen credibility. One client navigating a difficult restructuring found that benchmarking her proposal against industry norms — realizing her recommendation was actually more conservative than what peers at comparable organizations had done — gave her the confidence to advocate more clearly and made the case easier to land.
Frei's insight on authority is worth holding here: when you're clear about the boundaries of what you know — and honest about what you don't — people trust your expertise more, not less. Intellectual humility amplifies credibility at the senior level.
8. Tell a story that makes the data human. Numbers inform. Stories move. The most persuasive executive communicators know that a well-placed narrative — specific, concrete, emotionally resonant — does something data alone cannot: it makes the stakes real. When you can connect your argument to a customer whose experience changed, a team whose performance shifted, or a moment where the cost of inaction became visible, you've given your audience something to carry out of the room with them.
9. Surface disagreements — don't manage around them. This is where many senior leaders lose influence they've worked hard to build. When you sense resistance, the instinct is often to push harder or find a workaround. The more effective move is to name the disagreement directly and get curious about its source.
Three questions that consistently unlock stalled conversations: What are we optimizing for? (misaligned goals produce resistance that logic can't solve) Are we solving for different stakeholders? (you may be designing for different audiences entirely) What assumptions are we each working from? (two rational people can reach opposite conclusions from different starting points). Surfacing the disagreement isn't confrontational — it's generous. It treats the other person as a serious thinker whose perspective deserves engagement, not management.
The Discipline Underneath All of It
Every strategy in this article rests on the same foundation: genuine curiosity about what the other person needs, and enough discipline to prioritize that over the urge to be right. The executives who influence most consistently aren't necessarily the most eloquent or the most prepared. They're the ones who make other people feel heard, valued, and like partners in something worth doing. That’s not a soft idea. It's the hardest discipline in leadership.
Reflection Question: Think about a recent conversation where you wanted to move someone but didn't. Which of these strategies was missing — and what would you do differently if you had that conversation again? Comment and share below; we'd love to hear from you.
Quote: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." — Dale Carnegie
As an executive leadership and team coach, I work with senior leaders to sharpen their influence and build the communication disciplines that move organizations. Contact me to explore this topic further.
The next blog in this series (3/4) explores the science of persuasion — and the research framework that underlies all of it.
Who do you know that influences well?
