The Subtle Power of your Environment Influencing Your Habits (Habit Series 4/7)

Your surroundings may be impacting your habits more than you think and more than you want, so when you start controlling your setting, you can begin to have progress on the long-awaited changes in your life.

Executive Coach Marshall Goldsmith said, “Most of us go through life unaware of how our environment shapes our behavior.”  When you have a conflict between the situation (having cookies in your kitchen in an accessible spot) and your willpower (choosing not to eat them), the environment overpowers your will every time. Those cookies have no chance, especially if they are chocolate chip walnut from Levain’s, the #1 bakery in NYC.  If they are hidden, you will likely not eat them.  Better yet, if they are not even in the house, you will not be tempted.  Physical and visual distance impacts your choices.  If you replace the sweets with fruit and keep them reachable, you will more likely grab that.  To eat healthier, stock your fridge with excellent options.  The key to changing your habits is organizing your environment in a way that makes it easy and sets you up for success. 

The power of the environment is further illustrated in Richard Thaler’s Nudge, he talks about the concept of choice architecture which is the process of organizing information on a page or arranging the items in a physical environment in such a way that influences decisions.  Anne Thorndike, a Physician at a Boston hospital designed a 6-month study to alter the cafeteria’s choice architecture.  Fridges next to cashiers only had soda so store managers added water and placed baskets of water next to food stations around the room.  Over the next 3 months, soda sales dropped by 11.4%, and water sales increased by 25.8%.  The presence of water changed people’s behavior. 

Your social situation also plays a role.  Jim Rohn said we become the combined average of the people we hang around the most.  Those people dominate the types of things we talk about and the activities that we do.  If we spend time with friends who enjoy going to bars, we can be more tempted to overdrink.  If we spend time with avid readers, we are more likely to be influenced in that direction by reading or talking about books. When we hang out with people where the norm is to have good habits, we will make better decisions with our time and set ourselves up for success. 

As French philosopher, Michel de Montaigne wrote - “The customs and practices of life in society sweep us along.”  Friends and family provide an invisible peer pressure force that pulls us in that direction.   Do you work at an office where staying until 5 is standard because people value family and personal development time?  You will be less likely to overwork and violate that shared expectation.  Join a group where your desired behavior is the norm.  I did when I connected to a philosophy group a few years ago where I met so many people who were just as jazzed about personal development as I am.  It felt fantastic to nerd out openly on topics that I would not have the opportunity to share with my other friend groups.  Successful businesswoman Kathy Ireland said there are two types of people – anchors and engines, anchors weigh you down while engines believe in you, support you, and propel you forward.  Who are the anchors and engines in your life? 

Professor Edwards Deming noted, “A bad system will beat a good person every time.”  Many of us become successful or not depending on the world around us and how we relate to it.  If somebody returns from rehab and is plugged into the same environment with the same triggers and social influences, they are likely to find change difficult.  Instead, habits are easy when they fit into your life, and the environment allows for it.  So, what environmental cues are steering your behavior either in the direction of beneficial change or throwing you off track?  Make a list of your environmental triggers that are either helping or hurting you to raise your awareness so you can take deliberate action.

Your physical and social environments may be having a much bigger impact on your choices than you initially thought.  If you want to have a healthy lifestyle, allow your physical environment to reflect your intentions.  If you are going to focus on growth and development, surround yourself with people who share your values.  Be intentional about your choices for the best habits to take root.

Quote of the day: “The key to behavioral change is to pass behavioral control to the environment.” -Author Paul Gibbons

Q: How can you set your physical and social environment up that would optimize your success?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you! 

[The next blog in this series 5/7 will focus on the importance of small steps towards habit change]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to cultivate habits that serve them, contact me to explore this topic further.

Do you know how your environment impacts your decisions?

Your Personality Wiring is Impacting Your Habits (Habit Series 3/7)

The key to setting habits is to know yourself so you can customize your plan for change.  Not everybody is the same, what makes sense for some may not work for others, what seems like a hill to you may look like a mountain to me, so it is essential to experiment and find the approach that works best for you. 

One thing you can do is cast a wide net to get exposed to many ideas and then drill down on what you want to implement.  For example, you may spend time exploring all of your worst habits, then pick 1-3 to do some deeper reflection and double down on changes you want to make with those.  It is like deciding you want to be a better listener, you may briefly explore 10 books, but choose 2-3 to learn everything from and extrapolate main points, drown out the rest, and be intentional about applying those insights.

Before you jump into implementing habit changes, it could be helpful to explore your natural dispositions.  Here are a few variables to consider: 

1. Factor in your personality style.  Some people may have specific traits that are more conducive to particular approaches.  For example, you may be high in openness, and can more easily experiment with changes to satisfy your curiosity.   You may be high in consciousnesses and may want to follow the habit with a rigid structure instead of a more flexible approach. Are you somebody that can make the change by yourself, or would you do much better with a partner?  For example, we all know we should work out, but some choose to pay a personal trainer because we are more inclined to follow through when there is somebody else holding us accountable.

Beware of the information-action fallacy, which is the assumption that new information will lead to new action. You can read all the books on weight loss, but it does not mean you will enact any of the learnings, we are all human and need help, and some of us find it essential to the process. Executive Coach Marshall Goldsmith knows just how hard it is to change, that is why he checks in with his accountable buddy at the end of every day to reflect on his intentions.

2. Consider different approaches.  Some people prefer a phased approach v. an absolute approach.  With the former, you decide you want to give up coffee so, initially, you have coffee some days and decaf others, then after a while, you will have decaf coffee, and then decaf green tea until you break your coffee connection.  With the latter, you may think it is better to stop cold turkey. 

Indeed, not everybody is wired the same way.  Some people think it is helpful to change a lot of big habits all at once.  In his book Reverse Heart Disease, Cardiologist Dean Ornish shares a study that shows what can happen with dramatic lifestyle changes.  Some of his patients found it easier to say goodbye to all of their bad habits and embrace new ones and, in less than a month, they saw dramatic health benefits.  This is more the exception. Other research shows that when people tried one new behavior in one area, many of them were more successful than the people who tried to change a few new behaviors in many areas. This is especially true when it relates to what Charles Dughigg labels a keystone habit, that one thing you change which has a ripple effect on so many other things, which become easier to change. What approach compliments your personality?

3. Understand your response to change.  When you are first thinking about going for a run, it can cause nervousness, but after a while, you get used to it, and it becomes quite familiar.  Changes can be painful and uncomfortable initially, but eventually enjoyable.  The discomfort is only temporary because humans are incredible at adapting.  How well do you know your comfort level with the cycle of change? What’s your approach to dealing with change?

We all have natural dispositions that we can tap into to help with lasting behavior change.  When we consider our personality styles, strategic approaches, and comfort level with the change cycle, we can chart the best course of action that works for us.

Quote of the day: “People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits, and their habits decide their futures.”  -F.M. Alexander

Q:  What are your best and worst habits?  How do you maintain the good ones and how might you experiment with discarding the bad ones? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you! 

[The next blog in this series 4/7 will focus on the impact of the environment on habit change]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to cultivate habits that serve them, contact me to explore this topic further.

How does your personality influence your decisions

When it Comes to Habit Changes, Start with Self-Awareness (Habit Series 2/7)

How aware are you of your habits?  Which ones are the good ones, which ones are the bad ones?   If you could change one habit, which one would it be?  What’s been the main obstacle to achieving the change thus far? What do you need to finally succeed? To alter our behavior, it’s helpful to begin with self-awareness.

Many of our performance failures can be attributed to a lack of self-awareness.  Once we start tracking our habits and making them apparent, we can take meaningful action.  Practicing mindfulness – a consistent and focused awareness will help to identify the initial cue that ignites the habit loop so we are better informed to disrupt the process.  Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”  For example, you may be working on not giving unsolicited advice, yet you realize you mostly do it when one direct report asks you what you think.  That is your cue.  Or maybe you notice that in the late afternoon after completing a big task and feeling a little bored, you go for the dessert in the break room or in your kitchen.  Those slower moments can be your trigger for sweets. 

Here are some steps to take to be more aware of your habits:

1. Make a list.  When you are thinking about creating or breaking habits, it is first helpful to make a list and organize them into two columns – good and bad.  It is insufficient to only have the items in your mind, writing them down and seeing your words reflected back to you will help start the process of awareness because we cannot address that which goes unnoticed or is not fully captured.  As Peter Drucker would say, “your biggest challenge is defining what your work is.”  What is the landscape of your habits, and where is the work that needs to be done?  Once you have clarity, you can take the next step.

2. Assess your habits.  If you are unsure if a practice is a bad one – for example, you feel like you watch the right amount of tv, you will want to track your behavior for a couple of weeks to gain an accurate picture.  You may think it is the right amount because you watch it after dinner for about 1 hour but failed to factor in the 15 mins. in the morning while getting ready, the 15 mins. during lunchtime, and the occasional times you need a break in the late afternoon.  Surprise… it is closer to an hour and fifteen minutes a day, which adds up to more than you may want to dedicate.  Do you know how many hours you devote to nonessential work like Facebook or reading gossip or trivial news? These numbers are important to know because as Author James Redfield shares, “where intention goes, energy flows.” 

3. Decide to add or subtract.  You can choose a habit you would like to add to your life, like eating vegetables every day, or you can select a pattern to stop, like giving up candy.  Montel Williams followed the Add-In Principle, he says, it’s not what you take out of your diet, it’s what you put in.  A simple reframe – “Today, I’m going to have a salad, steamed vegetables, and fresh figs” allows him to keep his attention on the things he can do, instead of focusing on what he has to sacrifice.  Some research on neuroplasticity shows that the brain is continuously creating new wiring, so when you lay the trackwork for a new behavior by practicing it, it becomes more robust over time.  When we stop giving attention to the bad habit, the connection in our minds becomes much weaker. 

Be sure to choose carefully.  Most people waste effort on things that are not going to change, they may say they want to work less, but it is clear that their drive for financial success is more potent than their desire for balance.  Choose the habits that you are ready to tackle and are eager to move the needle on because we only have scarce resources.  When you laser focus on one thing at a time, small changes can equate to giant leaps forward. 

4. Make it a part of your identity.  According to James Clear, the first step in thinking about habits is to create identity-based habits.  He offers a concentric circle with 3 rungs, the inner is your identity, the middle is the process, and the outer is the outcome.  Most people set habits because they start with the outside and move inside. 

For example:

·      Outside-In: I want to lose 10 pounds (outcome), so I will exercise a few times per week (process), and then I will be skinny (identity).

·      Inside-Out: I want to be an active, fit person (identity), so I will exercise daily (process), and this will lead to weight loss (outcome). 

·      Outside-In: I want to improve my relationship (outcome), so I’ll say positive things every day (process), and I will be somebody who is in a good relationship (identity).

·      Inside-Out: I want to be a great partner (identity), so I’m going to say positive things every day, leading to an improved relationship (outcome).

If you set goals to change habits that do not align with your identity, it can cause tension.  In an article in SUCCESS, Daniel Hardy notes, “Psychologists tell us that nothing creates more internal stress and trauma than what you’re doing on the outside (actions & behaviors) is incongruent with your values on the inside.”  If you set specific financial goals but that takes you away from your #1 value of family, that will cause strife.  The best way to change who you are is to decide the type of person you want to be and then set the behaviors that serve your vision and prove it to yourself with small wins and consistency. That’s living in alignment and it is a freeing experience.

5. Set an implementation intention.  To build a new habit, establish an implementation intention or a premeditated plan.  For example:

·      When I get asked for advice at a meeting, I will get my team involved before I weigh in by saying: “I’d love to hear what the rest of the team thinks before I share my thoughts.”

·      When I feel bored, I will get up, move around, drink some water, and then grab carrots instead of dessert to snack on. 

·      It is a specific plan of action instead of a foggy idea like I want to be better at not giving unsolicited advice or cutting out desserts.  If you are going to start a meditation practice, instead of saying, I will meditate more or I will meditate every morning, you can get even more specific by saying I will meditate for three minutes every morning in my living room after I brush my teeth.

6. Habit Stack. One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify the habits that you already do and then stack a new behavior on top.  For example:

·      After my run (current behavior), I will do 5 pushups (new habit). 

·      After I eat lunch (current behavior), I will have a piece of fruit (new habit). 

·      After I sit down for dinner, I will say one thing I am grateful for before eating. 

·      After I get into bed, I will kiss my partner and share words of appreciation.

You can also add the desired behavior to something you already do that will enhance the fun. I discovered this when I started listening to audiobooks several years ago during my boring commute, and suddenly, I started looking forward to the activity because I knew I would have quality learning time.   The same is true for when I go for runs, I listen to podcasts and love the time I spend soaking up information. 

The journey of behavior change begins with understanding yourself.  When you have a clearer picture of your habits, you can decide which ones you would like to change so you can make them a part of your identity.  Setting an implementation intention and habit stacking can make that change process easier.

Quote of the day: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”  Historian Will Durant in distilling Aristotle’s sentiment on the topic.

Q: Who do you want to be?  What habits do you want to help you get there?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you. 

[The next blog in this series 3/7 will focus on the role your personality plays in habit formation]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to cultivate habits that serve them, contact me to explore this topic further.

What are your Identity-based Habits?

A Closer Look at Habits (Habit Series 1/7)

The quality of our habits makes up the richness of our lives.  Habits are rituals or behaviors that we perform automatically.  The good ones, such as daily flossing, exercise, and mindful eating, contribute to a healthier life.  In contrast, the less envious ones like consuming junk food, binging on Netflix, and skipping workouts can detract from our potential. 

These vital mental shortcuts allow us to glide more efficiently throughout our day.  A lot of what we do is mindless; we are constantly reacting to situations without having the time to conduct elaborate mental trials.  One paper published by a Duke University researcher in 2006 found that more than 40% of the actions people performed each day were not actual decisions, but habits.  Without them, we would be overwhelmed and simply nonfunctional at times because we are bombarded with millions of bits of information and lack the time and cognitive resources to decipher all of the data.  By not thinking about routine actions such as how we are going to brush our teeth, what breakfast we will have, and how we will commute to work, allows us to conserve energy on recurring events so we can use our thinking power for more significant decisions.  

How long does it take to change a habit?

The research on this question is varied.  In the preface to his 1960 book Psycho-cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon turned psychologist, wrote: “It usually requires a minimum of about 21 days to effect any perceptible change in a mental image.”  According to recent research by Phillippa Lally, the typical average is about 66 days.  But in that study, the range was wide, anywhere from 18-254 days because it depended on the kind of habit.  Drinking 8 glasses of water each day is much easier than going for a daily run, which could take closer to 7-8 months to cement for some people.  In reality, habit work never stops because if we do not maintain them, we lose the routine and the benefit.

Other variables can impact the timeline, such as how long the habit has been ingrained in our mind, how compelling the reason for the change, how big the payoff will be, how dire the consequences if we stick with the status quo, how positive the emotions connected to the behavior change, and the surrounding circumstances.   For example, if we have witnessed a friend die of lung cancer, that may prompt us to quit smoking immediately. If we feel incredible going for a daily walk and we start to notice progress shortly thereafter, we are more likely to implant that habit into our lives.

How do habits work?

In two common frameworks, Charles Duhigg in “The Power of Habit,” describes a habit loop consisting of 3 elements, while James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” explains 4 steps in the process by subdividing the second step. 

Here is how they explain it:

1. Cue.  A trigger that initiates the behavior because you are conditioned to notice the reward.

2. Routine.  The behavior you use in response to the cue.  James Clear subdivides the routine into the craving (the motivational force behind the habit) and the response (the actual practice you perform).

3. Reward.  The satisfying feeling you get when you address the cue.

When putting it together, it looks like this:  You wake up (cue), you want to feel alert (craving), you drink coffee (response), you satisfy your craving of feeling alert (reward).  Therefore, drinking coffee becomes associated with waking up.

Habit loops are important because our brains would shut down due to the overwhelm of the everyday minutiae without them.  When we break a habit into its parts, we can understand them better and zoom in to a specific area to triage. 

Knowing our habits can improve the quality of our lives.  Instead of running on autopilot and accruing behaviors that may not serve us, we can be more deliberate.  When we build good habits, we create freedom for the things that we want to do the most.   

Quote of the day:  “For the first 30 years of your life, you make your habits.  For the last 30 years of your life, your habits make you.”  -Hindu Saying  [This was reportedly a favorite of Steve Jobs who sent it out to friends on invitations to his 30th birthday party].

Q:  What cue or trigger starts one of your habits?   What can you do to interrupt the loop?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 2/7 will focus on increasing your awareness to change your habits better]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to cultivate habits that serve them, contact me to explore this topic further.

When was the last time you examined your habits?

Strategies to Shatter Cognitive Distortions (Mindset Series 2/2)

In the last article, we explored 12 common cognitive distortions or ways of thinking that can be detrimental to our happiness and productivity.  Experts such as Aaron Beck and David Burns argue that we do not need to resign ourselves to this type of thinking; instead, there are numerous ways to identify, challenge, minimize, or erase these misrepresentations from our mind chatter.

Here are some steps we can take to work against these distortions or unproductive mindsets:

1. Learn how to recognize the cognitive distortion and label it.  Now that you are familiar with some common ones, when you start thinking along those lines, you will be able to spot what is happening earlier.   When you notice the distortion, write it down. For example, suppose somebody cancels a meeting. In that case, you may immediately overgeneralize – “this always happens to me, I can’t catch a break” or you may label  - “I’m a total loser, of course, they don’t want to give me the time of day” or catastrophize – “I am never going to get my shot with this decisionmaker.” Spot yourself falling into the pattern so you can get out of it. You have to name it to tame it.

 2. Look at the evidence for and against your thoughts.  You have probably racked up support for your thoughts, but what about exploring the other side? Ask yourself, “what might somebody say who disagrees with you?” “How can I devise five reasons why this is not true.” “What if I was wrong?” You can connect with a friend and invite them to disprove your unsubstantiated theories. Just because you have a thought does not mean it is true so invite scrutiny to test your thinking.

3. Run a cost-benefit analysis. What is the cost of believing this unhelpful theory? Perhaps anxiety, self-consciousness, and excessive rumination.  How about the benefits?  Maybe protecting yourself from a potentially adverse outcome.  Which is worth more?  Write down your thoughts and get some distance so you can better see the holes in your logic.

4. Reframe. Perhaps you have a big presentation looming and you start to indulge your negative thinking and let it run loose. You get really anxious and determine you are going to do terribly because public speaking is your Achilles’ heel. Remind yourself that you can choose your response. You can transform your state of psychological arousal from anxiety into excitement. What if you viewed this presentation through opportunity googles and not a fearful lens? Things can go well - believing that is more productive!

5. Assume positive intent. When we judge people or assume the worst, we can feel bad about ourselves. Instead, if we make an effort to interpret other people’s statements in their best or most reasonable form, we can inculcate ourselves from some of that draining energy.

6. Avoid polarity thinking. Instead of thinking in black or white terms, think in grays. In which context is one thing more true? For example, instead of maintaining emotional intelligence (EQ) is always better than intelligence, perhaps EQ is more valuable in areas dealing with customer service and less valuable dealing with data. You can generate as many different interpretations to break the binary thinking.

Many people may not be realizing that they are engaging in thinking patterns that bring them emotional pain.  When we can surface those harmful thoughts, we are better equipped to fight against them, and live healthier and happier lives.  Allow your mind to usher in the productive and healing vibes that will allow you to thrive in the way you can.

Thought of the day: “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven” - John Milton

Q: What thinking behavior do you notice doing the most?  How do you break that cycle of destructive thinking? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to explore their blind spots around their mindsets and assumptions to better serve their actions, contact me to explore this topic further.

How can you foster positive thoughts?

Thinking Behaviors That Are Sabotaging You (Mindset Series 1/2)

Have you ever stopped to think about how your thoughts may be helping or hindering you?  Is the way we perceive the world always spot on, or could we be way off and not even be aware?

Psychologists Aaron Beck and David Burns researched these questions and concluded that sometimes the way we observe the world is erroneous because we have negative biases that we inherited from our ancestors who were equipped to constantly lookout for dangers.  These flaws in our thinking are known as cognitive distortions - exaggerated or irrational thoughts that can do us great harm.  For example, we can view the world through a negative filter and fail to see any positives.  This thinking pattern is so habitual that we do not even realize what is going on and conclude that it is simply the way we are. But, does it have to be?

Here are 12 common irrational thought patterns that simply are not serving us:

1. Catastrophizing is when we blow circumstances out of proportion and think about something unbearable happening that we will not be able to endure.  Maybe we made a mistake on a project and now think about the worst-case scenario, such as getting kicked off the team, fired, and possibly rendered forever unemployable! 

2. Emotional Reasoning is when we interpret reality based on how we feel in the moment; our moods determine how we see the world, and if we feel something, it must be true.  We may be feeling sad about our work performance after a poor presentation given in a meeting and then conclude the job is just not working out and we are not meant to be in this field.

3. Overgeneralizing is when we perceive a global pattern of negativity based on a single incident.  Failing once can translate into believing we fail all the time. The clue that you may be overgeneralizing is when you use the words, “always,” “never,” “every,” or “all.” 

4. Dichotomous Thinking is about having only two ways of thinking – all or nothing; feeling like the victim or the oppressor; you either win or lose; something is either good or bad.  Saying, “I get rejected by everybody” or “it was a complete waste of time,” shows an inability to see the hundreds of interpretations in between. This type of thinking keeps you rigid and stifles your creativity and problem-solving abilities.   

5. Mind Reading is about assuming you know what people are thinking without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. “They think I’m a lazy contributor on this team.” We jump to conclusions because we think we know what the other person is believing.  We could be presenting on a video call and one of the team members yawn so we conclude that they must think we are boring or do not respect me, but in reality, they were up all night from their new baby and their tired expression has nothing to do with us.

6. Labeling is assigning negative traits to yourself or others where it becomes part of your identity.  You may engage in forgetful behavior where you fail to do a part of a project and condemn yourself to be an absent-minded and disorganized person. This can have massive negative impacts. For example, thinking you are an incompetent person can cause a looping effect where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Over time you will develop schemas about yourself and your prospects and become the inept person you carelessly labeled yourself to be. Engaging in a few isolating behaviors is not the same as your character.

7. Attachment is thinking you “have to” or “must do” something because it is part of your identity.  When we adhere to only one vision of ourselves and believe that possibly this one person or this one job can only make me happy, we close ourselves to many other options that could make us even more fulfilled.  Sure, living in NYC can mean a blissful life, but so can living in other cities (I think).  You may have your heart set on being a teacher because you like helping others, but there are multiple other ways you can achieve those same ends, such as being a coach, a facilitator, working in learning and development in an organization, being a mentor, volunteering, and so on. We cannot be sure unless we approach the situation with an open mind and welcome other possibilities.

8. Negative Filtering is when you focus exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives.  Thinking about all the people who do not like you at your company, instead of the ones who do. You may get 6 pieces of positive praise on your presentation and 1 piece of constructive criticism and your mind zeros in on the negative and forgets the positive. How do you take a moment to look at the whole picture and really take in the good?

9. Discounting Positives is when you claim that the positive things you or others do are trivial or do not really count because of various circumstances.  For example, disregarding your best friend’s compliments of you because that is what friends are supposed to do. Or, if success came easy then it does not really mean much because you did not have to work hard for it.

10. Blaming is about focusing on others as the source of your negative feelings, maybe you blame your parents for how you turned out or you hold your boss culpable for your unhappiness and refuse to take responsibility for changing.  It is common to think, “if this person would just quit their full-time job of making me miserable, all my woes would disappear.” What purpose is blaming serving? How do you start with yourself and your contributions?

11. Always Being Right is the belief that we must always be correct and will fight to prove that we are.  In this mindset, we fail to consider the other person’s feelings in the discussion, and it becomes hard to sustain a relationship because nobody wants to be in constant competition. Meir Ezra notes, “The more a person needs to be right, the less certain [they are].” What is behind that desire to be right? What do you win? More importantly, what is lost?

12. Personalizing is when we attribute a disproportionate amount of the blame to ourselves for negative events, and we fail to see the role others play in causing certain events.  “The partnership ended because I failed.” Yet, you do not take into account their part.

These types of twisted thinking can interfere with our intellectual development and harm our mental health. Epictetus stated, “What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but how we think about them.  It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.”  When we can identify our thought patterns, we can decide what we want to do about them. We have more choices than we realize.

Quote of the day: “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.”  ― Eckhart Tolle 

Q: Which one of these distortions do you most often use, and when do you use them?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog 2/2 will focus on strategies for correcting our counterproductive thought patterns.]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to explore their blind spots around their mindsets and assumptions to better serve their actions, contact me to explore this topic further.

Manage your mind for more happiness

What’s The Best Way To Address Accountability? (Accountability Series 3/3)

Having an accountability conversation to let somebody know where they stand is essential for an excellent culture.  It should not just happen in one conversation where all your stored information comes out at once, but it should be communicated through multiple interactions. And, as the recipient, while it may not feel good at the time, it is a gift to have that valuable information to know exactly where your performance stands.

Here are some steps to consider when thinking about an accountability conversation:

1. Check in with yourself.  When a work issue is causing you stress, a typical first instinct is to point outward and blame others.  But if you want to have a productive conversation with someone who appears not to get it, first consider if you may be contributing to the problem (even unintentionally).  Instead of asking, “Why aren’t they doing your part,” you can ask a series of questions to look internally first, such as “Is there anything I can do differently to help? Have I been clear about my expectations?  Have I asked what I can do to help?  Have I taken time to brainstorm and review processes?  Have I built an accountability plan with them?”  Self-awareness is a leadership superpower and reflecting on this may help you recognize any unhelpful patterns. 

2. Use the Accountability Dial.  Author Jonathan Raymond offers the accountability dial as a helpful framework to keep others accountable.  There are five steps: mention, invitation, conversation, boundary, and limit.

A. Mention. A brief comment or piece of feedback that you noticed that you want to check in and get more information.  It can be something that might be counterproductive.  For example, “I noticed that the proposal that went out today had aspects that were a little unclear.  If I was the customer, I think they would have had a hard time figuring out what we meant based on our previous meeting.”  The mention can also be empowering – I loved how you kept that meeting on track; I know how distracting it was to keep pace with the conversation going on in the chatbox or off to the side.  It is best to mention right after the event and not wait for the quarterly or yearly meeting.  The mention is about offering a piece of data you notice that is either helpful or hurtful to the person to have timely feedback so they know what to do more of or what to do less of. 

B. Invitation.  This is about asking the person to connect a few mentions and get their take to put things into context and learn about that fuller picture.  Three different isolated mentions on the same topic can help them see a pattern.  For example, if your team member is constantly missing deadlines, you could begin by saying, “I’ve noticed that you seem to need a little more time to get the work done lately (or insert another behavior).   What’s the pattern here?”  They may not have been aware that they have been late in different aspects of the project; let them make that connection and give any additional context that can get at the root challenge.  To test to see if there is alignment on expectations, you can have them provide a self-assessment of what quality of work would look like and what standards would need to be met.

C. Conversation.  It is a one-on-one discussion to learn even more about what’s going on.  You brought information to their attention in your mentions, and in the invitation, you welcomed them to think about their behavior in the big picture.  The goal of a conversation is to listen, remain genuinely open to their take on things, and restore the work instead of casting blame.  It helps to assume positive intent and come from a place of curiosity and support and not a mindset of hostility where there are unhelpful and untrue assumptions being tossed around.  You can start with any of the following:

· The expectation was X and Y was delivered, what is behind this misalignment?  

·  There is a conclusion I have drawn based on your behavior, but I know I only have a snapshot and that there is crucial information I may be missing, so would love to learn more from you.

· Your performance fell short of the goals we set together. I would love to know the barriers that got in the way and what we can do differently going forward.

· Help me understand the disconnect of where we set the goals and where we fell short so we can do things better next time.

You may discover that they are not “lazy,” “incapable,” or “unreliable,” but rather, that they are unclear on organizational goals, and therefore, are not properly prioritizing projects.  You may discover that they need more feedback to do their best or that other obstacles hold them back.  In Crucial Accountability, Kerry Patterson et al note that 70% of project managers admitted that they would be late because deadlines were initially unrealistic.  While none of these factors entirely excuse a broken commitment, lack of initiative, or follow-through, acknowledging what they have said, understanding the underlying issues, and noting where they are coming from can give you a clear idea about how to move forward, even if it means you disagree.  This is an excellent opportunity for you to be supportive and offer positive reinforcement.

If you do not learn anything valuable and they are just slacking for some reason, you need to deliver the truth.  Talk about how their behavior is impacting the company.  You may say, “I know you do not intend to take the team sideways, but when you do not return emails on time that have action items in them, it makes life harder for the rest of the team and more difficult for the customers and stakeholders.” Pointing out their specific behavior always works best when you have built trust and demonstrated that you care.  Maybe they did not have any idea of their impact or did not think it was a big deal, but now understand, and do not want to be the person everybody chases, so they are ready to make some adjustments.  You can also use the contrasting approach, which shares what you are not intending before the feedback.  For example, “I’m not saying it was wrong for you to disagree with me in the meeting, we need to hear everyone’s view to make the best choice, but I think the team listened to your tone as attacking, and it would be better to address your concerns with me privately or in the meeting with a curious and positive manner, how do you see it?”

It’s essential to leave the conversation where you both understand what the underlying issue is, how to address it, what success looks like, what needs to be done, by who, and by which date to achieve it.  Having that type of clarity and mutual agreement on how to move forward can be a game-changer.  You can also have them suggest that they are planning to make changes and even ask them if they are open to trying some new strategies.  You can reassure them that you want them to be set up for success and get one last confirmation – “does this all seem doable given other things on your plate?”

D. The Boundary.  If the conversation and feedback did not change their behavior, you need to have another conversation, and talk about the boundary or the limit.  The boundary is the idea that even though they have been working on something and made some change, it is not enough or not to the desired standard.  I know this can be uncomfortable, but you are providing feedback in the spirit of helping them grow.  Not addressing the behavior would send a message that you approve of their behavior which can continue to harm the team.  The outcome could be that you monitor a specific behavior change you want them to show in a reasonable time frame.   

E. The limit.  A clear consequence and the last step before the person is dismissed. In the conversation, you tell the person you have tried everything you could – coaching, mentoring, feedback, and other supports.  Where we go from here is on them.  They can take the weekend and tell you if they want to stay and present their plan of what they are prepared to do that has not been tried or if they want to go because it is not the right fit for them now and they want to move on.  Two things can likely happen – they can reflect or talk to others to have that wake-up call to realize they can be better and move into another gear and come back and show this newfound initiative, or they will select out.  When you have determined that the person cannot meet the expectations, don’t delay, let them find another place where they can thrive.  As a leader, it is not about keeping everybody happy, it is about keeping the organization humming along where people can achieve their best, and a crucial part of that is emphasizing accountability and maintaining standards of excellence; that’s part of what keeps morale high. 

Raymond stresses that the Dial is not a linear process – it can be turned up and down depending on the situation.  For serious issues, you may jump immediately to the conversation or even the limit.

You can also use a more simplified 3-step framework for accountability which would be to communicate the expectations and observations, follow-up to make sure the expectations are communicated right and are being met, and make the consequences clear. The consequence can be positive or negative, if they are exceeding an expectation, they could get certain recognitions. A common pitfall is that most managers do not do step 1 or 2 well but then go heavy on the consequential in an annual review because they have 6-12 months of stored feedback.

When one team member’s behavior and work performance negatively impacts another, you need to hold the person accountable.  An excellent tool to use is the Accountability Dial, which starts with mentioning the behavior, inviting them to see patterns, having a conversation to learn more, showing the boundary, and utilizing the limit.  Keeping people accountable is the kind thing to do because not addressing their unacceptable behavior would be perpetuating the cycle of failure and wreak havoc on all those involved. 

Q: How do you initiate your accountability conversation for maximum results?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

Quote of the day: "When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice." ― Brené Brown

"When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else." David Brin, Author 

As a Leadership and Executive Coach, I partner with others to help with all kinds of accountability, contact me to learn more.

The best cultures embrace accountability conversations

What’s Your Accountability System? (Accountability Series 2/3)

Now that we talked about the importance of accountability and why it is not happening, let’s jump into creating a process that fosters excellent accountability.

When leaders can put some of these structures in place, they can nurture an accountable culture.  Here are some steps to consider:

1. Clear Expectations.  The first step is to have a meeting to be crystal clear about your expectations — the desired results you’re seeking, the capabilities needed for the job, how you’ll measure success, and what standard you seek.  It does not all have to come from you. The more skilled your people are, the more ideas and strategies they can contribute.  They should have the autonomy to determine the HOW in achieving their objectives. When you have a genuine two-way conversation about ways to contribute and tactics that they are considering, you will create the necessary buy-in and build confidence in tackling the project.   Before the meeting’s end, you can learn if you are on the same page by asking the other person to summarize the critical pieces - results, capabilities to be successful, metrics, and approaches to reinforce that alignment.

A. Clear outcomes.  What are the outcomes to be produced?  While the employee has the autonomy to figure out how they will achieve results, it is vital to specify a general destination and set the standard of excellence so they have the example.  If I tell you to put together a presentation and do not explain some requirements such as length of time and critical aspects, your understanding of a presentation can be vastly different from the other mine. Let’s talk about the parameters to mitigate any confusion.

B. Clear capability.  Be sure that the person you are holding accountable has the skills and resources they will need otherwise they might be set up for failure.   You can ask yourself, what do they need to meet the expectations?  If the person does not have what’s necessary, can they acquire what’s missing?  If so, what’s the plan?  If not, how can they delegate parts of the work?

Here are some helpful questions to ask to create active effort (certainty on how to move forward) rather than anxious effort (uncertainty which morphs into procrastination).

·       What do you see yourself needing to do to be able to achieve the result?

·       What could get in the way?  Excuses can be helpful signs; once surfaced, they can now be included in the roadmap.  You can offer a follow-up – “Given what's in the way, what’s possible or what else can be done?”

·       Where are the first 1-3 places to begin?

C. Clear measurement.  During the expectation conversation, you should agree on weekly (or whatever cadence works best) milestones with clear, measurable, objective targets.  If any of these targets slip, jump on it immediately, brainstorm a solution, identify a fix, redesign the timeline, or respond in other productive ways that get the person back on track.  Nothing frustrates leaders more than being surprised by failure to meet expectations in the 11th hour.  Sometimes this failure is due to premature optimism on both sides, or the direct report is reluctant to ask for help. Either way, it can be avoided or mitigated with clear and transparent communication.

2. Clear feedback.  In one of your first feedback meetings, you can ask them how they like to receive feedback and consider their preferences.  Honest, open, ongoing feedback is critical to their development, and just because you have said something once, does not mean you are done; good feedback should be continuous and reinforced.   People should know where they stand.  You can ask yourself, is the person delivering on their commitments?  Are they working well with other stakeholders?  If they need to increase their capability, are they on track? When you have clear expectations, capabilities, and measurements, your input will most likely be fact-based and easier to deliver. The feedback can also go both ways — is there something you can be doing to be more helpful?  

Co-Founder of Pixar Ed Catmull said feedback should always leave an employee inspired.  Ask questions that start with what or how, such as:

·      What will you have to do to have this done on time (rather than, do you expect to have this done on time)?

·      What ideas do you have (rather than do you have any ideas)?  

·      What do you want to do next regarding your objective? 

·      When this happens, what do you want to happen next?

·      How will you keep yourself and the project accountable for what you want?

·      How will we accomplish X by this date with only Z resources available to us? (instead of jumping in and helping, let them take a first crack at solving the problem).

·      I need your help, when you miss meetings frequently [insert behavior], I feel/think/wonder that you are not committed to the position.  Could I have some clarity on this?  What would it take for you to be at the meetings?  In the future, I expect you to be at the meetings because your input is essential.  What do you see getting in the way of this expectation? What’s needed to meet it?

Undergirding all these questions is genuine care, trust, and support. You should let the person know that feedback is about providing supportive accountability, not in remediating problematic behaviors or surveillance.  It is meant to accelerate their behavior through continued conversations so they can do hard work, think, learn, grow, and contribute.  When employees believe their bosses are interested in their success, they feel less guarded and less inclined to hide their underperformance.  If you have not built that trust or if the feedback is not sincere, it will not work. When the trust is there, people will be open to sharing failures that can be addressed at the moment because they are learning opportunities and not mistakes to be covered up.  When people feel criticized or attack or when there is fear, they will shut down and it will be a culture of psychological danger.

When the job is done, you can ask them to walk you through how they did their work to engender pride.  You can learn about the parts they struggled with and the parts in which they were incredibly satisfied.  Other good questions to ask:

·       What did you learn? 

·       What are you most proud of?  

·       What aspect do you want to carry forward to your next project?

3. Clear consequences.  How would they like to be held accountable so you can cater to their style within limits?  This is important because you can use the same approach with different people, and one person could be embarrassed while the other empowered.  When you know your people’s preferences, you can better support them.

4. Model accountability by going first.  A great way to create a culture of accountability and enhance psychological safety is to share that accountability travels both ways.  While you will hold your direct report accountable for their work, you expect that they will hold you to it as well.  If we want to be the best we can be, we have to have high standards and when they are not reached, we want to address them, so we know what to do better and differently next time.  You can share the standards you have for yourself and when they notice you have not met them, your expectation is that they are going to tell you where you have fallen short so you can learn and grow together.  It is not about criticizing in public, but constructively addressing the issue in private.  When the leader goes first it emphasizes the importance of promoting a culture of ownership. 

5.  Address challenges that could surface at the beginning.  You can share that when a promise of delivery is made, there is an expectation that it will be done.  If something comes up that compromises the timeline, it is essential to bring it up.  I’d rather know about a situation days or weeks before the big meeting so there is enough time to come up with creative solutions or workarounds or bring in support than to learn 5 minutes before the meeting with no opportunity to remedy the situation.   The damage to the relationship is most severe when people wait too long to bring up an issue because they do not want to disappoint the person or they have a hard time with tough conversations. Delays do happen, Author Kim Scott shared that when writing her book Radical Candor, she thought it would take 3 months, but it ended up taking 4 years but she was able to keep the trust in line because she was always upfront about shifting timelines.

If you are reasonably sure that you were clear with expectations and did what was necessary to support their performance, and they still have not proven to be accountable, in that case, they may not be a good fit for the role and could lead to a change (in position, teams, or in the company) that would create more of a win-win.

Setting up a process of accountability, including clear expectations, feedback, and consequences can empower others to take responsibility.

Q: What is your system for holding others accountable?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

Quotes of the day: "Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility before they place blame." ― Courtney Lynch

"Responsibility equals accountability equals ownership.  And a sense of ownership is the most powerful weapon a team or organization can have." -Pat Summitt

[The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on having an effective accountability conversation]

As a Leadership and Executive Coach, I partner with others to help with all kinds of accountability, contact me to learn more.

It all begins with clear expectations

Why Accountability Matters And Why It Fails (Accountability Series 1/3)

We all want to work in an environment where people deliver on their commitments.  In fact, the presence of accountability is a key reason why companies have a high belonging score.  When an organization stands for a noble purpose, has a compelling mission and vision, and noteworthy values, it is important for leaders to create a culture of accountability where people hold themselves and each other responsible for delivering on these promises.

Accountability can often get a bad rap.  Traditional accountability might have been viewed as more punitive; when people did not hit their targets, there were consequences.   This often conjures up feelings of blame, shame, and guilt which triggered them to shut down and feel discouraged.  While accountability can be a little bit of an uncomfortable process at times, when it is done right, it looks more like a supportive rather than a disciplinary process and can be a morale booster.  Founder & CEO Peter Bregman says, “Accountability is not simply taking the blame when something goes wrong.  It’s not a confession; it is about delivering on a commitment.  It’s a responsibility to an outcome, not just a set of tasks.  It’s taking the initiative with thoughtful, strategic follow-through.”  People can learn to love accountability when it is about helping to achieve better results, improve their performance, and get recognition for their tremendous efforts.

Accountability is necessary at all levels of the organization.  Executives at the top of the org chart cannot be accountable unless the people who report to them also follow through on their commitments.  Leaders play an essential role in inspiring others to advance the organizational goals without micromanaging or using a pure command-and-control approach since it is an ineffective relic that does not promote people’s greatest work.  The best accountability can address the WHAT and WHY of the work by providing a framework with expectations, boundaries, and consequences. It can also handle the HOW by granting autonomy to people to pursue what they think is best to achieve the agreed-upon results. For example, a person should know what exactly they are building and why they are building it through co-creating the broad strokes with their leaders but can make numerous mini decisions in executing the work.

Some of the best managers support, mentor, and coach people for self-accountability; they are interested in providing maximum effort and engagement to achieve desired results, are receptive to feedback and improvement, and remain resourceful as they aim to achieve solutions.  Even more than keeping commitments, self-accountability is a considerable driver of happiness and engagement.  In Dan Harris’s 10% Happier, he explains how well-being and happiness are correlated to the level of accountability people take for their lives; it is a prime motivator for their evolution.

Why Accountability Fails:

Research shows that many managers, even senior ones, are surprisingly weak in this area.  According to one study in the Harvard Business Review, 46% of high-level managers were rated poorly on the measure "holds people accountable for when they don't deliver."  Data offered by Tom Starner in HR Dive shows that 82% of managers acknowledge they have limited to no ability to hold others accountable successfully and 91% of employees would say that effectively holding others accountable is one of their company’s top leadership-development needs. 

It’s not working from an employee perspective either.  Gallup found that only 14% of employees feel their performance is managed in a way that motivates them, 26% get feedback less than once per year, 21% feel their performance metrics are within their control, and 40% feel as if their manager holds them accountable for goals they set.  

Let’s explore the top reasons for the lack of accountability:

1. Organizational challenges.  A lack of accountability can sometimes be unintentional if it results from underlying issues, such as unclear roles and responsibilities, limited resources, poor strategy, or unrealistic goals.  This is why some leaders report not knowing exactly how to get people to be more accountable for results if they have a lack of organizational clarity or if the goalpost is constantly shifting.

2. Leadership challenges.  Before pointing fingers elsewhere, you want to check in with yourself to ensure you are not part of the problem.  Have you set the person up for success?  Have you defined clear goals and provided an accountability plan from the beginning of who will do what by when?  Have you given feedback along the way and monitored metrics?  Have you addressed issues and not let them balloon by ignoring them?  If the answer is no to these questions, it will be hard to hold people accountable when some of the responsibility may lie with you.

3. System Changes.  Leaders sometimes find system changes impacting accountability.  Maybe the norm was to grant leniency and look the other way on small things.  Now, if the message is to impose stricter standards, your direct reports could be dismayed if you do not communicate the recalibrated expectations.  How could they be rated a 3 / 5 when their whole career, they have been a 4 or at the top?  They may wonder if they are suddenly a 3 because only a certain amount of 4s can be granted.   These are painful conclusions that the person can draw about themselves and their boss, so a manager may be nervous about turning the dial up on accountability if they do not have good reasoning behind the system changes and how they will improve the culture.

Most companies would admit that they have an accountability problem.  Leaders in particular struggle with it because there are underlying organizational issues or a lack of confidence and experience in their leadership.  Accountability does not have to be complicated; it can be a positive and productive experience that builds morale and excitement and contributes to an incredible culture when it is done right.

Quotes of the day: "Understanding the true meaning of accountability makes us strong and enables us to learn" -Sameh Elsayed

"On good teams, coaches hold players accountable, on great teams players hold players accountable." ― Joe Dumars

Q: What is your biggest challenge when it comes to accountability?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 2/3 will focus on setting up a system for accountability] 

As a Leadership and Executive Coach, I partner with others to help with all kinds of accountability systems, contact me to learn more.

How do you maintain a culture of accountability that inspires people’s best?

How Is Your Executive Presence?

The term executive presence can be vague and mean different things to different people, like the concept of leadership.  Is it about how you show up by what you wear, how concise and convincing you are in meetings, how great you present, how much credibility you have, or how strong your decision-making and strategic thinking skills are?

When you ask a group of managers who aspire to the C-suite what it takes to get there, they invariably mention executive presence, even if they may not be clear on what it means.  In a survey conducted by Coach Source, Dr. Brian Underhill shares that from a manager’s perspective, 42% of people who seek a coach want to develop their executive presence.

So, what are these “make or break” factors in considering whether to promote somebody into the upper leadership rank?  Executive presence is not just about one or two factors, such as how you look or dress, but about the whole person.  It may seem like some people either have it or not, but they likely worked hard to achieve it, and it can be developed with intention.  Executive presence, or I would extend the concept to also include leadership presence is about inspiring confidence in others because of character, capabilities, and reliability.  These leaders can handle complex and unpredictable situations, make tough decisions quickly, and hold their own with talented and strong-willed team members.

The Bates Executive Presence Index, a research-based, scientifically validated assessment measures executive presence according to 3 big categories: character, substance, and style.  I’m going to borrow aspects of that framework and include my categories based on commonalities from clients I’ve coached on this topic.

Components of Executive/Leadership Presence:

1. Character.  Arguably one of the most important is about the personal traits and values that define you.  Two key components include:

·      Integrity - Acting authentically, transparently, sincerely, and in accordance with your actions and beliefs.  You live up to ethical standards because you care about doing the right thing for yourself and others, even when it is unpopular.  You are credible, trustworthy, professional, dependable, and know how to keep your promises.

·      Humility - Part of being humble is being self-aware – you have a good sense of your strengths, weaknesses, and the impact that you want to make.  At the same time, you know you do not know it all, so you seek out diverse perspectives and feedback, you listen inclusively to others, and you believe that all people have worth regardless of title or position.

2. Substance.  This relates to depth and overall maturity and can be split into practical wisdom and emotional intelligence.

·      Practical Wisdom – Having those hard skills and competencies in getting the job done.  You also exercise good insight, judgment, vision, strategic thinking, and collaborative skills in bringing teams and stakeholders aligned and along with you as you achieve results.   

·      Emotional Intelligence – You show calm and balance when under pressure because you know how to manage your own emotions.  You do not have erratic and unpredictable outbursts or become emotionally unhinged when you clash with others or receive pushback on your ideas; instead, you use your emotional strength to understand the situation better.  You are also attuned to others’ emotions because you listen, ask questions, factor in other perspectives.   You show care and build great relationships because you can read the room, receive data, and make pivots to fit the moment better.

3. Style – This is about how you present yourself and how others see and experience you quickly, if not immediately.  It is the first impression.  Two critical aspects include presence and effective communication.

·      Presence – This is more than the right clothes, firm handshake, eye contact, or voice projection; it is about exuding confidence, being calm in hectic times, and adapting your demeanor to serve the situation better.

·      Effective Communication – Relates to talking with intentionality.  You are clear, brief, direct, and speak with authority.  You do not bog others down with the details or open the floodgates and blast them with information; you know how to get to the bottom line swiftly.  You use your communication to empower, inspire, and bring out your best.  That may entail providing a forum where others feel safe, expressing themselves, asking questions, and feeling stretched in their growth because of your high expectations in their development and support. 

Like many intangible leadership traits, these skills can be grown, especially if you have a baseline level of self-confidence and a willingness to deal with unpredictable situations that come with the territory at the executive level.

Let’s jump into some things you can do to develop executive presence:

1. Skill build.  Understand where you want to go, assess your starting point with your current skill set, determine the new proficiencies you will need, and pick one capability to grow.  You can raise your awareness by reading about it and then practicing the skill.  Perhaps, you want to begin with style and specifically your public speaking.  You want to stand and deliver confidently, clearly, and concisely to large groups, answer questions effectively by maintaining curiosity and not becoming defensives, and handle pressure calmly.  You can start with the headline, provide some more details, and hold space for others to jump in with questions, then go deeper on topics that interest them.  Being comfortable with releasing some control means that they can drive the conversation, and you can handle whatever comes your way.  Speaking in shorter bursts is helpful because it is more of an exchange and not a lecture.

2. Get support from others. You can work with a coach to get clear on who you are, what you want to work on, what it will take to work on it, and be held accountable along the way.  You can also work with advocates, managers, peers, colleagues, mentors to let them know that you are actively focusing on this one thing.  If they have tips or suggestions and can be mindful of sharing feedback when they see you doing the behavior, you can gain their support for your growth.  Receiving helpful feedback from them can allow you to adjust along the way.

Expressing your executive presence is unique to each person.  You make an impression through the values you bring to the organization, the results you deliver, the way you connect, and how you communicate your points.  It is a worthy skill to invest in because it can lead to more career advancements and opportunities.  When you lead with character, substance, and style, you can positively influence and inspire greatness in others. 

Quote of the day: “How you act (gravitas), how you speak (communication), and how you look (appearance) count for a lot in determining your leadership presence.” -CEO Sylvia Ann Hewlett

Q: How do you define executive presence?  What’s one essential feature of it?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help develop their executive and leadership presence, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you show up? Is it the way you want to?

How to Fire the Humane Way (Firing Series 3/3)

The prospect of firing someone you’ve worked with for years can be daunting, but you have decided that it is the last step in what was a fair and transparent process where all other options failed.  You are left with the best choice to elevate your team’s needs over any one individual.

How do you have the termination talk?  Here are some steps to consider: 

1. Check with Human Resources.  Before you schedule the conversation, Management Consultant Dick Grote suggests sharing your plans with human resources to see if there are any additional considerations.  They can offer a fuller picture of the employee’s extenuating circumstances.  Maybe their pension vests on Wednesday, so firing on Tuesday can be suspect, or you find out that their wife is starting cancer treatments, so firing on the same day can especially sting.  HR should tell you if you have all the proper documentation and if there are other things you need to do to go about the process fairly and professionally.  They can answer any questions you might have.  Since you know the situation best, if you think it would be helpful for an HR rep to attend the meeting to help with questions or unusual reactions, you can make that call, but it should be done in the spirit of support and not a show of force.

2. Don’t delay.  This is one of the hardest things you might have to do as a manager, but you must not let your agony delay the conversation.  Prolonging their employment when they do not gel properly with the core values and culture is unfair to them and can be very expensive and damaging to the company.  When you choose not to fire someone, it ruins the integrity of the organization.  “Managers rarely regret acting too quickly on a termination, but they have regretted waiting too long,” says Grote.  If you’re still having trouble mustering the courage to act, think about your team, which may be picking up that extra slack and working longer hours to cover the poor performance.  Once the decision has been made to pull the plug, do not wallow in the misguided hope that somehow things may still work out. They hardly do. Grote says, “Remember: It’s not the people you fire who make your life miserable. It’s the ones you don’t.”

3. Choose your timing.  Doing it early in the day and week may encourage them to find another job and reduce the chances that they will spend the weekend moping in a black hole.  Choosing Friday after­noon, on the other hand, often creates the minimum amount of disruption to the rest of the staff.    Whatever you decide, make it logical and compassionate for those involved.

4. Do it in person.  It should come from the manager, a familiar face who had previous conversations about the potential ramifications if things did not change so there is no surprise.  It should go without saying, but do not send an email or text.  If the person is in a different city or working remotely and cannot do it in person, a video call can suffice.

5. Be clear and concise. The words you use to terminate a team member should be simple and to the point.  There is no reason to sugarcoat a termination; take the rip-the-band-aid off approach by skipping the excessive small talk and leading with the headline.  Consultant Jodi Glickman suggests beginning by saying, “I have some bad news.  Today is your last day here.” Then be transparent and state the reason for termination in one or two simple sentences.  “We’ve let you go because you didn’t meet your sales targets” or “You’ve not been a good cultural fit, e.g., missing deadlines in a fast-moving culture.” Then, tell them directly they are terminated.  It’s essential to use the past tense because it “precludes arguments about second chances,” says Grote. “The plug has been pulled.”  You can also say, “Last month’s report indicated that your department still has the lowest quality index. We have decided that a change must be made, and as of today, your employment has been terminated.”  It is important not to waffle or be ambiguous because being clear is kind.  While both examples point to termination happening immediately, I think it is always helpful to give the person enough notice to transition.

6. Be compassionate.  When you have decided the right thing to do is dismiss a team member, you want to make the dreaded process go as smoothly as possible, both for you and the person you are letting go.  

Dick Grote says, “Even when the business justification is clear, you’re sitting down and telling someone that [they] are no longer getting a paycheck and that when [they] wake up in the morning, [they] have no place to go. That’s tough.”  Very few people are eager to put themselves in situations of discomfort as keeping somebody accountable does not feel good, but it is an eventual gift.  If you feel guilty, you should know that you are keeping them from another job where they can be happier and thrive.  Thinking about how uncomfortable you are in having the conversation is selfish, you must keep in mind what’s best for the company, the teammates moving forward, and the ones being terminated.

Be sure to have the conversation in a humane and dignified way by doing it behind closed doors.   It is essential always to be respectful and compassionate not only because it is the right thing to do but also because it helps with morale.  John Stieger, CMO of Wilke Global “Anyone with empathy can at least understand how losing a job will impact a spouse, children, and others who are blameless,” he says.  How you treat people on their way out the door does not go unnoticed by the rest of the organization.”  When terminations are well justified and professionally executed, the rest of the workgroup realizes that this is an excellent place to work.   

7. Stay in the room and be prepared to answer questions.  While some experts contend that you do not need to say anything more or even remain in the room after the initial pronouncement, Grote vehemently disagrees. “Leadership demands compassion,” he says. “You were the agent of a terrible thing that has just happened in this person’s life.  Don’t run away, and don’t force HR to pick up the pieces.  You should be prepared to speak as needed and answer questions as they come up.”

 Before the meeting, you need to be well versed on practical matters or allow HR to handle questions relating to the last day of work, the last paycheck, the details of the severance agreement, the process of collecting unemployment benefits and health insurance, and what happens to their benefits and unused vacation time.  Of course, there may be issues you and HR have not considered.  In that case, you can let them know that you will get back to them shortly once you have the answer.  They should know the next steps.

8. Be prepared for emotion but keep yours in check.  Some people take the news in stride, while others might go through various emotions such as shock, grief, and anger.  Be prepared to listen and support in the best way you can.

9. Offer additional support if you would like.  If you genuinely believe the person has talent that could be useful elsewhere and are being let go for non-ethical or performance issues, offer to help with their transition so it is as seamless as possible.  Can you give them a long lead time to find a new job?  Can you assign them a Career/Transition Coach to support their next steps of polishing their resume and getting clarity on their next position?  Would you be willing to serve as a reference or write a testimonial?  How about making a LinkedIn introduction to a team where you think they would be valued?  Can you reassure them that the lines of communication will be open and that they can contact you for support?

10. Conduct an exit interview.  Exit interviews are a way for employees to be heard and state their case for why they are leaving.  They can offer valuable feedback on improvements since they may not hold back with their candid remarks, and you can use that information to plug any holes for improvement.  When possible, you should share their contributions and how they positively impacted the organization to feel proud of the time they spent.  Not all firings will be as amicable, but no need to burn bridges, ending on a high note is always the way to go.  Be sure to thank the person for their service and wish them well.

11. Talk to your team & focus on the future.  Gathering the colleagues affected by the termination to address the matter and offer a straightforward message, no need to reveal the reasons behind the decision due to confidentiality, but if it is probable that your team already knows.  The firing likely presents short-term challenges for your team so ensure them how it will be much better in the long run.  Share your strategy on managing the workload while you look for a replacement and are open to their suggestions to minimize the impact on them and the business.   

Deciding to fire is never an easy option but you should not delay just because it is uncomfortable for you.  That would be selfish and unfair to the person who is not a right fit because you keep them from moving on to better things.  It is also not fair to the other team members who may be overworking to compensate or to the organization if the business needs are being overlooked.  There is a way to fire with compassion, choose it and you will sleep better.

Quote of the day: “The day that firing becomes easy is the day to fire yourself.” -Tom Peters

Q:  What’s your best tip for successfully firing somebody with compassion?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to think through compassionate plans to dismiss their employees when they must, contact me to learn more.

Using compassion in saying goodbye

Choose to Double Down on Support (Firing Series 2/3)

Deciding to fire can be a tough choice.  In the last blog, we explored the reasons to let an employee go, this blog will focus on another option, which is to support your teammate rather than letting them go. 

Reasons to support:

If an employee is not working out, instead of rushing to release that individual, you may want to closely examine the reasons.  Choosing to support somebody by providing guidance for improvement, switching roles to better match their skillset with the work requirements, or changing teams could be the better decision.

Here are some common reasons why you would choose to support:

1. You were unclear in the hiring process.  If you did not articulate the job requirements and if you did not train the person adequately in the onboarding process where they are set up for success and feel safe to contribute fully, you should not let them go because you are responsible for the mismatch.  You should give the person adequate training so they can win at their job.  This happens often because we are usually rushed to fill a position and choose to throw them into the fire with insufficient training. 

2. Realignments and changing business needs.  If the business has changed and you need people to do other jobs than what they were doing or if you had a realignment and created a skillset redundancy, you may want to move them to another team where they would be able to contribute and thrive.  Quality employees with a fierce skillset and a learning mindset can be versatile enough to be plugged in elsewhere to positively impact; they are people you want around.   

3. You haven’t managed them well.  Part of the success of an employee can be attributed to how well they were supported.  Have you had regular meetings with your direct reports to learn what the person needs to succeed?  Did you set clear goals and expectations measurable with benchmarks, deadlines, and a general timeline for completion?  Have you had 1:1 performance discussions where they are aware of their gaps, and you have created an opportunity to invite their feedback to co-create an improvement plan with outcomes you are both comfortable with?  Have you had career development conversations where you understand their short and long-term motivations and dreams and how they fit into their daily tasks while offering opportunities for support, growth, and development?  Generally, have you be a present thought partner enabling their best efforts and clearing the path for their great work?

If you had a conversation about their struggles, do they know exactly what to do to improve and how their progress will be measured?  Are they aware of the timeframe and consequences if they break the mutual agreement and no improvement is made?  Making sure you have done everything possible to support the person matters.  If they still have not responded well to your assistance, it could be time to let the person go.

4. You have not kept them engaged or focused on their wellbeing.  If an employee is underperforming, it could be because they are burned out.  They were given more work than exceeded any normal human’s capacity, so they shut down, and so did their productivity.  They could also be dissatisfied with their job if they have been in the same role for a long time and they have not been offered growth opportunities, they could be showing signs of dissatisfaction and frustration by not being challenged by the work.  They can also feel resentful that all their time will work and they do not feel supported in having time off.  Before Thanksgiving of 2014, President Joe Biden sent a memo to his staff reminding them that he did not expect nor want anyone to “miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work.”  That includes celebrations, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or weddings, and time needed to step away from work due to an illness or death in the family.  For Biden, it was an unwritten rule for staff to take time off for family responsibilities or wellbeing.  Workplace cultures where there are no boundaries between professional and personal and being on call 24 hours a day is not conducive to bringing out people’s best, even if it may seem so in the short term.  Rewarding overwork can be detrimental.

If you have determined that you did not offer the proper support in the hiring and managing stage or if the business needs have changed, there are still things you can do to support your people.  You can move them laterally to another team or another department to thrive and be happier somewhere else in the company.  Perhaps, they have been in sales for many years, and an opportunity in marketing would be a breath of fresh air.  Or maybe they're in tech or operations and would enjoy a career pivot to manage people because that is what gives them joy.  Separate the person from the job; if they are great, where else can they go?  Around 2010, Salesforce wondered how it can be just as easy to transfer within the company as it was to leave so they created their Opportunity Open Market initiative.  After each quarterly release, software developers could transfer teams.  There would be internal job fairs to facilitate that transfer.  It allowed people to find what motivated them and work on things that challenged and excited them.  It was so successful it was integrated into the broader company. 

5. Your company decided to downsize.  If the company is going through a tough time and you must make layoffs, what are all your options?  The worst thing about layoffs is not only what you do to the people who leave but what you do to the people who stay because if they are expected to double their work, they end up losing trust and getting frustrated.  Is it possible to do furloughs instead?  Would anybody on the team volunteer for some time off because they are in a more comfortable position and wish to spend more time with their family?  Can you agree on a temporary promotion freeze if it means your people can stay?  Every team and culture are different; choose what works best for the group.  In 2008, Barry-Wehmiller got hit hard with the recession, so the board put pressure on the CEO Bob Chapman to make layoffs, but he believed in committing to people like family.  Instead of firing, he had each person take a four-week furlough of unpaid vacation whenever they wanted because he thought it was better for all to hurt a little than some to suffer a lot with a job loss.  As a result, morale went up because people saw leaders sacrificing the numbers for them, so they started to care for each other even more.  They would give their days to those who could not afford furlough.

Deciding to let a team member go is a big choice.  Before pulling the trigger, you want to understand the reasons for doing it and whether they are valid.  If the fault lies with you, you should give your people another chance.  If you have genuinely done everything you can, but they still show no improvement, do not waste one more minute.

Quote of the day: “On what high-performing companies should be striving to create: A great place for great people to do great work.” - Marilyn Carlson, former CEO of Carlson Companies

[The next blog in this firing series 3/3 will focus on the best ways to go about firing]

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to support their teams to do their best work, contact me to learn more.

How can you partner with your direct report for success?

Is it Time to Fire? (Firing Series 1/3)

One of the most difficult and least favorite parts of a leader’s job is deciding to let their employee go and then carrying out the process with humanity and fairness while also keeping the ship sailing smoothly.  Before making this decision to either fire or continue to support, it can be helpful to understand the turnover trends at your organization to put the issue in perspective. 

What is the turnover like on your team and at your company?

Low turnover is a sign of great company culture.  It shows that employees enjoy the environment and that the company has been thoughtful in its hiring processes and has gotten the right people matched to their positions.  On the other hand, high turnover is not only costly but could be emblematic of deeper and more systematic issues.  Perhaps, mistakes are being made in the hiring, training, or role placement process.  It could also be due to poor leadership if the common denominator is that you’re the one team that fires the most.  Or, maybe the company is growing so fast that leaders are not paying attention to the big picture such as to the phase shifts, which is where everything breaks as the company triples. Leaders may not be preparing for that different environment and getting their team adequately braced for the transition.  They may not be able to use the same processes for a team of 50 as they would 150.

Another reason to examine trends is to get a grip on the costs. According to Gallup data, the cost of turnover can be extensive; it can equal one-half to two times the person’s annual salary, including the expense of finding a replacement, onboarding, training, and the loss in productivity, morale, and institutional knowledge.

While low turnover is a great sign, you are not aiming for 0% within teams or in the company because some shakeup is healthy and necessary.  According to Adam Grant, a body of research shows that teams do the best when they have 4-4.5 years as a nucleus as it takes a few years to create effective routines and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and ways to complement them further.  It’s challenging to build alignment when teams are only together for a brief period.  Similarly, when teams stay together for too long, success drops because it lacks the diversity of thought and the pouring of fresh ideas which leads to innovation.

Reasons to Fire

While noting every organization is different and making these decisions are specific to the culture and needs of the company, here are some common reasons to dismiss an employee:

1. Ethnical violation.  If your employees lie, steal, or betray you, your team, or your clients, that is grounds for dismissal.  If they intentionally hurt, harass, or offend another person, there should be a zero-tolerance policy for this behavior because it can be quite corrosive to the culture. Nobody has the right to deliberately belittle others. When the trust is appallingly low because of frequent deceptions and misdeeds, a productive and genuine relationship cannot be built and productivity will be compromised.

2. Poor cultural fit.  If the employee is causing more problems than solving and the bad outweighs the good, it is time to go.  For example, if they do not operate with a growth mindset or a “what’s possible” mentality, and their default is seeing only the obstacles and getting easily deterred, that behavior can be counterproductive to the objectives.  Suppose they have an apathetic attitude in not caring about their work or their teammates or a negative disposition and exhibit toxic behavior where they are bringing everybody else down.  In that case, it is time to make a change.  Recent research from Harvard Business shows that one bad employee can corrupt a whole team.  The study looked at how employees act when they are around someone who misbehaves.  It found that 37% of those studied were more likely to do something dishonest if they worked with someone with a history of bad behavior. 

3. They are consistently underperforming and have not responded to your support.  If you have managed them well by giving them timely and specific feedback and have been a supportive partner in their performance reviews and career advancement plans, but they are regularly performing poorly, not capitalizing on any of the opportunities for improvement, or have ignored your repeated efforts to support them, it’s time.  In any of these cases, it should never be a surprise to them when they are let go, they should be well aware of what they need to do and the ramifications of not delivering on realistic expectations.  In most organizations, performance improvement plans are in process to address these issues. If you have a high standard of excellence and offer a supportive culture, keeping a low performer can be more costly to the team than the disruption of letting them go.  A good check-in question to ask yourself is, if you were starting this company today, would you rehire this person?  If the answer is no, follow your gut.  Netflix uses the “keeper test,” which is when managers ask themselves - “Which of my people if they told me they were leaving for a similar job at a competitor or peer company would I fight hard to keep?”

When it comes to the tough decision of letting an employee go, certain reasons make this decision an easier one.  If the person committed any ethical violations, is a net negative on the culture because their attitude diminishes the team instead of accelerating it, or if they are consistently underperforming and do not care to get better, then do not delay, make the call, as tough as it may be.

Quote of the day: “Firing is not something you do to someone: firing is something you do for someone.” Author Larry Winget

Q:  When do you know it is time to let somebody go?  What’s your process for firing?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this firing series 2/3 will focus on choosing to support your team instead of dismissing them] 

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to best navigate performance management challenges and build flourishing cultures, contact me to learn more.

When is the right time to let your employee go?

When Hiring, End Strong (Hiring Series 5/5)

The last few blogs in this series dealt with the beginning and middle phases of the hiring process, this article will focus on the latter stages.  Once the candidate has made it past the initial interview rounds, you may want to consider the following steps to decide among your potential matches to find the best fit.

Here are some helpful steps:

1. Written sample. Many companies collect writing samples from candidates before or after an initial interview to gain insight into their thinking and written communication skills.  It is an excellent way to know how they can convey messages.  This criterion may be more critical than others depending on the job.  Amazon, for example, has a practice where people share their written updates before meetings, and others silently read, review, make comments, and ask questions so having that ability is essential. 

2. Demo/job audition.  Ron Friedman recommends designing a job-relevant assignment that reflects the type of work the applicant will do if they are hired.  For example, if it is a software development position, maybe you want them to write sample code to see how clean their style is or build a feature to see how they conceptualize a project, and then have them explain it so you can understand their thinking process.  If you are deciding on salespeople, have them sell you the product after providing the contextual details and time to prepare. If you're hiring web designers, have them mock up a landing page. If the position is for a professional coach, have them do a brief coaching session. This way, your assessment is based on actual performance, not simply how charismatic they might be during the interview or about trusting your gut.  One of the best predictors of how somebody would perform at a job is to see a work sample.

3. Final Round Interviews:  There will be a few people you will want to see again.  The goal here is to ensure the right skill-culture-job fit. Southwest’s model is to hire for attitude and train for skill because it is hard to teach somebody to have a positive disposition and growth mindset. In this stage, Lencioni says, “do not be afraid to interrogate your applicants! If they skirt around a question, ask it again, and keep asking it until you get an answer. If you have a nagging doubt that the candidate is hiding something, there is a good chance they are, so don’t let it go—just change the wording slightly each time. For example, if the candidate keeps giving a vague answer to a question about coping with conflict, you can ask, ‘would your best friend tell you that you hold grudges?’ If a candidate eventually snaps at your pushy technique, that gives you valuable information.”  Get to the heart of what really matters.

4. Observe them in their environment [optional for top-level hires].   This is to get more of a sense of how they treat others for the cultural fit.  Bill Gates would introduce potential hires to others and see how they interact and observe if they could keep the conversation going.  Lencioni suggests conducting nontraditional interviews over soccer practice or even taking candidates out shopping so you can get to know them in a different context.  Charles Schwab’s CEO Walt Bettinger takes candidates out to a restaurant and deliberately ensures the waiter messes up their order to gauge how well they react to mistakes. A person who will be unforgiving toward waitstaff is not someone you want on your team.  If it is a small enough company, the CEO should be involved in hiring, especially with the early ones to be intentional about fostering a culture of excellence and humanity.

5. Check their references. Usually, references that people provide do not speak negatively, but if they confirm dates of employment, that's a problem because the absence of enthusiasm is a bad sign.  People who like you will go above and beyond.  You can ask on a scale 1-10, how great is this person?  You can ask a leading question: what is the one task the candidate would be most proud of that they experimented with and did well?  Luis Von Ahn, CEO and Cofounder of Duolingo, offers this advice.  When you contact their reference, you can ask, “Did he/she work well with others?”  You are looking for a more definitive and enthusiastic response like “absolutely” over a more wishy-washy one – “yeah, with most people.”  Maybe you detect the reference is being coy, you can frame your questions to elicit specific choices.  For example, “what’s more likely - that this person will be a total pushover or a little manipulative?”  “Work more by themselves or inclined to work with others?”  Listen closely to these responses because they can contain the exact answers you are seeking. 

6. Making a decision.  Part of what goes into a great company is hiring great people.  The way to know if the person is an A player is to answer the question – “Will this person raise the performance and cultural quality?”  If the answer is a yes on both fronts, you may have yourself a winner.  It may be tempting to let somebody in who is exceptional on their technical proficiencies, but if they are culturally challenging, it should be a hard pass because you send a message to the others that sub-par behavior is acceptable, and great culture is not prioritized.  Steve Jobs was rumored to have said, it is better to have a hole on the team than an A-hole. You should be dying to hire the person because of their competencies and cultural fit. David Ogilvy, known as the Father of Advertising, said, “If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs.  But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.”  The quality of the people you bring in will directly lead to the satisfaction of the quality of the team members.  Indeed, cultivating unbelievable talent starts with one good hire after the next.

7. Send the non-hires feedback.  For the people who did not get the job, take the time to send them feedback, it will mean a lot to them, and it is the human way to operate, especially after they invested all that time.  Adam Grant offers this advice, “It's disappointing that so few interviewers give feedback to job applicants after rejecting them.  When turning candidates away, the least we can do is make it a learning experience.  Ghosting is selfish.  People are hurting.  A bit of guidance might help them get hired elsewhere.” A few thoughtful comments can have a massive positive impact on the candidate, do not squander the opportunity, build it into your process.

Finding the right candidate takes time and while there is an initial upfront cost, when you get the right person in the proper position, you will be glad that you took the extra time and thought to make a meaningful hire.

Quote of the Day: “Time spent on hiring is time well spent.” - Robert Half, Founder of Global Human Resource Consulting Firm 

Q: What methods work for you in asking for a job sample or checking a candidate’s reference?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear!

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

What do you look for when you hire?

The Art of Asking The Right Interview Questions (Hiring Series 4/5)

As your candidates move through the hiring process, it can be helpful for the committee to create a series of questions that will cut through the applicants’ buzzwords and bullet points to get a more accurate gauge on how they will perform on your team.  According to a study by Leadership IQ, 46% of new hires do not last longer than 18 months primarily due to poor interpersonal skills even though candidates may be qualified.  Asking questions that get at this issue can make a big difference. 

When thinking about the questions, you can choose ones that invite both scripted and unscripted responses.  Common questions allow them to share their prepared and practiced responses, such as tell me about yourself and why would you be an asset to this company, but it is only going to reveal so much.  You want to ask some questions that yield impromptu responses to engage in real-time self-reflection. This can show the best clues to whether the person would be a good fit. 

  1. Here are some attitudinal, career, and background-focused questions that can tap into both their scripted and unscripted responses: 

·      Tell me about yourself and highlight two turning points that led you to apply to this position.

·      What are your superpowers?  Give me examples of your strengths and put them in the context of your previous jobs.

·      Tell me about your track record of success.  What did you do to create your success and whom did you have to partner with to make that happen? [Research shows one of the best indicators that somebody will be successful in the future is if they have a winning past track record].

·      What are you not good at or do not like?  How have you addressed these weaknesses or found workarounds?

·      What are your pet peeves when it comes to collaboration? What types of people do you find the most challenging to work with? What is your strategy if you find yourself on a team with some of these people?

·      What do you look for in an ideal teammate?  What do you have to offer to the team?

·      Whom do you admire as a leader and why? How would your teammates describe you as a leader?

·      What are the ingredients of good company culture?  How would you contribute to an incredible culture?

2. Behavior Questions:  Asking behavioral and future-focused, realistic questions related to how they would approach their job can give you a lot of data on their potential performance.  Knowing what they would do can yield more robust responses than attitudinal questions that are more theoretical and philosophical.  For example, what is your philosophy on leadership versus how you would handle this issue?  

Here is a sample set:

·      If two colleagues are not getting along, how would you handle it?  Name 2-3 specific things you would do. Other variations include: Tell us about when your team had disagreements.  How were these differences resolved, and what was your role?

·      What are the steps you would take to manage an underperforming employee?

·      Can you tell us about a time when you disagreed with your manager’s directions or priorities? How did you respond?

·      Tell us a time when you made a mistake or were asked to go back and make corrections. How did you handle it? An alternative can be, what was your biggest failure? What did you learn from it and how have you avoided repeating it?

·      Have you had to work with someone whose personality was particularly different from yours? How did you make it work?  Another variation: Tell me a time when you had difficulty working with someone, what made them difficult to work with? What steps did you take to resolve the problem, what was the outcome? What could you have done differently?

·      Tell me about a time you faced a challenging situation?  What did you do to improve your situation?

·      If you are trying to get a new initiative implemented, walk me through how you would do this.

·      Tell me about a situation in your last job where you volunteered to help somebody outside your area or an important project where you volunteered even though you did not have anything to do with the core assignment.  Tell me why you did it, what was the result, and what was your role?   [A question like this helps you assess their track record of collaborating or teaming up with others to succeed.]

3. Questions to assess their preparation and career aspirations:

·       Can you tell us what you know about our company and what stands out the most?

·       Please tell us what you understand this position to be?  What excites you, and what concerns you?

·       How do your values and mission align with the company’s values and mission?  You can follow up on their response and provide some of the company information if you are trying to figure out alignment.

·      What are your career goals? What would need to happen for you to achieve your professional aspirations?

4. Questions to help understand their listening, communication, and curiosity skills:  This could involve formatting some questions as directions. 

·       Teach us about one of your passions, something that you know a lot about or consider yourself to be an expert in, and as if we do not know anything about it.

·       What have you been learning about lately or what is a recent topic that has captured your curiosity?

5. Questions that help reveal their level of self-awareness:

·      What have you been doing to work on your non-strengths?

·      What conditions can you do your best work in?

·      What is the biggest misperception people have about you?   

The misperception question is about whether they know how they come across to others, even in ways that may not be a true reflection of who they are.  Tony Hsieh, the former Chief Executive of Zappos, uses this question often. He said, “I think it’s a combination of how self-aware people are and how honest they are. I think if someone is self-aware, then they can always continue to grow. If they’re not self-aware, I think it’s harder for them to evolve or adapt beyond who they already are.”

Tony Robbins said, “successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” To truly understand if the candidate is going to be a right fit, you want to inquiry well.  Specifically, behavior questions can be the best indicator of how the person will perform on the job. 

Quote of the day: “People are not your most important asset. The right people are.” -Jim Collins

Q:  What are your favorite interview questions to ask? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear!

[The next blog in this series 5/5 will focus on the concluding parts of the interview process]

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

Which questions do you ask to get the best candidate?

When Interviewing, Beware of Your Biases (Hiring series 3/5)

Organizing a successful hiring process can determine if you secure the right person for the job.  A crucial component to success is the interview stage as it is a great way to get to know your prospective employees, both the hard skills and intangibles such as passion, initiative, goal-orientation, and cultural fit.

Below are some steps to consider when you are designing the interview process. Be sure to filter any of these tips based on the culture and mission of your organization.

1. First-round individual interviews.  If you have many applicants, you can have a brief 30-minute group interview meant to cull the list further and separate the A from the B and C players.  As you move to the preliminary one-on-one interviews, the goal is to get to know your candidates a little deeper.  You can open your interview by letting them know you would like to spend 25 or so minutes getting to know them and then leaving some time to answer any questions they may have. Give the candidate the first words instead of telling them about the company as they can parrot what you would like to hear.

2. Beware of biases. While the interview is going to give you some essential data, there are inherent problems of deception.  Psychologist Ron Friedman argues, “The interview is dreadful in predicting if somebody’s going to be successful because they're measuring their ability to think on the spot. 80% of people lie and it seems like it’s almost advantageous for them to lie if they want to get the job.”  Another problem is that people have biases in hiring.  As humans, we are hardwired to make quick decisions, to go with our intuitions. The way we think is largely shaped by various unconscious biases which ultimately influence the way we perceive reality.  In fact, according to Quartz publication, 60% of interviewers will decide about a candidate’s suitability within 15 minutes of meeting them.  Some will even have made that determination within seconds of the interview.  When we have formed our intuition, we are no longer considering new information, we are just rationalizing it.

 Here are some common biases in which to be mindful:

·      Confirmation Bias.  Is the tendency to search for information that confirms some preliminary assumptions you may have.  For example, suppose you see a tall person, you may think they are a good leader and then ask questions that can evoke favorable answers such as – tell me a time when you led a group successfully versus a more neutral question - how much experience do you have leading a team?

·      Halo Effect.  We assume that just because somebody has achieved success in one area, they are likely to excel in another area. They were incredible coders so they are likely to lead a technical team, but they are two different skill sets that need to be individually assessed. 

·      Overconfidence Bias.  Is the tendency to hold an over-bloated assessment of our skills and abilities.  Some hiring managers believe they have a special talent to choose a candidate based on their gut, but our personal experiences can be limited.  To have an accurate read, we need to have more objective measures in addition to our instincts, however strong they may be.

There are steps we can take to interrupt our biases and have a fairer process:

A. Have a standardized set of questions.  Ask all candidates the same questions, write them down in advance and execute. The reason is that if we think somebody is extroverted, we are going to ask for examples of when they led a group, whereas if we think somebody is introverted, we may not ask them about speaking in front of an audience because we assume they may not have.  The way we frame the question influences the information we get, and when we ask the same questions, we level the playing field.

B. Have a scorecard. This is an idea mentioned by Geoff Smart and Randy Street in their book, Who: The A Method for Hiring.  Their card has three parts: mission, outcome, and competencies so you are clear what you are looking for and so the candidate is clear on what to expect.

·  Mission: 1-5 lines of why the role exists. For example, the customer service representative is to help customers resolve problems with the highest level of courtesy.  You can ask candidates how their mission aligns with the company’s mission.

·  Outcomes: 3-8 specific outcomes to achieve an A performance.  For example, improve the customer performance score from a 7-12 measured by x, y, and z by 12/1.  Another example could be to work with a team to generate copious ideas and then choose the most innovative one, gain consensus and galvanize the team to execute by a specific date.  You can ask how they feel about achieving the outcomes.

·  Competencies: - Choose the capabilities that most matter to the work. At Google, Kim Scott talked about hiring for general cognitive abilities, leadership, role-related responsibilities and expertise, and googliness (the culture piece).

·      Technical Competencies or hard skills: These are the skills and behaviors that people need to do the job (coding, product management, creating the strategic vision and executing, designing, etc.). You can ask them how they have exhibited those competencies and provide an example from a previous job or how they would complete a realistic project they would have to do for this position.

·      Interpersonal or soft skills: These are all the intangible that allows the work to get done and the business results to be achieved. It can involve being self-aware and understanding how they are being perceived, managing their time and being dependable, being an effective communicator and clearly spelling out expectations with respect and openness, as well as being a listener and excellent team player.

·    Leadership skills: Do they know how to develop others to advance in their role, do they know how to motivate, inspire, care, and appreciate others, can they run high performing teams, manage conflict, and promote DEIB (diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging) initiatives? Managing and leading a team is different than being an individual contributor.

·      Cultural Competencies:  Do your values and mission align? You can share the values of the company (e.g., hungry, humble, and smart) and ask how they exhibit those values, and provide an example from a previous job.

·      You can use the what/how/tell-me-more framework for follow-up questions. What do you mean? What happened? What does that look like? What is a good example of that?  What is your role?  What did you do?  What did your boss say?  What were the results?  What else?  How did you do that? Please walk me through the steps and how you overcame any obstacles.

Based on the responses, you should provide a score from A-E or 1-5 to each of their questions.  When you are done, you can review the scorecards with the hiring committee and advance the candidates with the highest scores.  If there are none, you may need to re-source potential candidates.

 C. Have a committee.  Eliminate siloed interviews in favor of at least 3 people on a panel because each person can be attuned to different aspects and see different things.  You can assign roles, such as a hiring manager to organize and then others that are looking for specific competencies. The panel should be made up of not only the hiring manager but peers and if there is a heavy cross-functional component, that person should be there as well. The committee should also be diverse in different areas such as experience, gender, race, etc. Before the interview, members should know the competencies, take notes, fill out a rubric independently, keep a tally, and then debrief their observations and compare impressions and scores.  If one person gave a score of a 5 in consciousness and the other gave a score of a 2, the idea is not to agree but expose the different perspectives and increase understanding, vote, and move on.  If there are any aspects that you are unsure about, you can drill down on those specific things in the next interview. Southwest conducts a lot of peer and team interviews. These processes help delay and test our intuitions so our decisions are more grounded in more data sources.

Many people complain just how hard it is to get the right hire.  The process can be lengthy and there is no guarantee that you are going to bring on great people.  Thinking about interrupting biases, having uniform questions, a scorecard for evaluation, and a committee to thoughtfully review the candidates can increase your chances of securing the right candidate.

Quote of the day: “Hiring is the most important people function you have, and most of us aren’t as good at it as we think. Refocusing your resources on hiring better will have a higher return than almost any training program you can develop.” - Laszlo Bock, Former SVP of People Operations at Google

 Q:  What’s your process for conducting group or one-on-one interviews?  How do you choose among the candidates you interview, which criteria do you use to assess a candidate’s performance?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear!

[The next blog in this series 4/5 will focus on asking the best interview questions]

 As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

How do you disrupt your biases when hiring?

Your Hiring Process Determines Your Talent (Hiring Series 2/5)

Finding excellent employees can sometimes feel like finding your soulmate – you have to meet a lot of people to find that great fit.   A top concern for CEOs and other executives relates to attracting and retaining talent, according to the 2020 Conference Board Annual Survey.  Not only is it time-consuming, but it can be expensive. Gallup shows that “The cost of replacing an individual employee can range from one-half to two times the employee’s annual salary.”  Given the challenges around hiring and the high stakes of recruiting, we often rush to fill the vacancy, but bringing the wrong person aboard can have lingering repercussions.  Beyond the direct costs associated with orientation and training and eventual termination, the greater cost may not be as easily measured, which is the negative impact it has on current employees. The price of a poor cultural fit can be devastating to top performers, both in terms of their morale and productivity.   

Finding the right candidate takes time, and having an effective process increases your chances of procuring a great match.  Southwest Airlines has a comprehensive and competitive approach to sift through its many applications.  According to SVP Ginger Hardage of Culture and Communications, there is about a 2% chance of getting the job. This is because they take their time to hire right so they can manage easily.  Author Jim Collins supports this method; he famously endorses getting the right people on the bus and in the right seats, which is a metaphor for hiring well and putting people in positions where they can thrive.

 Here are some steps to consider in the early stages of the hiring process: 

1. Plan.  Make it a team effort, form a committee to do the following:

A. Define Your Team & Company Values. This is to share the most important drivers of your company and the values you are seeking and the behaviors that would support those values.  For more on values, check out the previous blog.  You do not need to attain homogeneity in work style and preferences, but on those core aspects you care about.  Making a deliberate effort to hire for diversity and inclusion will only improve your company.

B. Specify the Role.  Make a list of the specific tasks to be done and define them.  You can even try and do some of the work yourself or consult a teammate who has done the work before so they can clearly explain the specifics involved.  Sure, there can be flexibility in HOW the person hits the outcomes, but you want to be clear on the WHY and WHAT. When you write clear descriptions and results, you give the person a sharp sense of what they have to do to be set up for success.  This also allows them to select out if they feel they cannot do the job.

Generalist v. Specialist.  If you are clear on what the role demands, then you can create detailed requirements.  When I have worked with technical managers and software engineer leaders, they are usually looking for a specialist to do a tough job fraught with wicked problems or somebody who can crank out the work quickly, efficiently, and reliably.  In some cases, they may not need the highest standard of communication skills because they may only deal with the one direct report who hired them.  If they do not have to interact with the other teams, such as sales, marketing, and product development, you may be safe in being more lenient with this expectation since you need to overvalue technical chops.  If you are the leader working with that direct report and are satisfied with that level of chemistry, that’s fine.  If the role requires analytical and fast pace thinking, you need somebody that could work in a pressured environment with quick turnarounds; if it is a customer service job, you need somebody with incredible people skills.  Adjust your category weights based on the nature of the job.

Hiring is a two-way street, so while you will benefit from getting a talented person, you should be clear on their value proposition.  What are the benefits that the candidate will receive from the job?  Talented people can be weighing their options in a competitive environment.   The clearer you are, the better the chance you will have to secure the position. In the book, WHO: The A Method for Hiring, Geoff Smart talks about five criteria in which candidates seek:

1. Fit.  There is an alignment between what the candidate cares about, their goals, strengths, values, and mission with the purpose and vision of the company.  People yearn to do good work and have an impact.

2. Family.  There is enough balance in the position for the person to spend time with their family, friends, or on other important commitments.  There is an acknowledgment of the whole person and what they need to be set up for success, not just in the job, and that means not allowing work to be all-consuming.

3. Freedom.  There is autonomy in the role to make independent decisions and have creative expression and not be micromanaged.

4. Fortune.  People want to be paid a competitive wage.  Money is rarely the key motivator, but it is one important piece that allows for more freedom in your life.

5. Fun.  There are opportunities for enjoyment and the development of strong personal relationships.  Studies show that having a best friend at work plays a prominent role in job satisfaction.  How is the culture set up to foster connections among coworkers and have those enjoyable moments?

6. Mastery & Belonging.  Daniel Pink, Author of Drive talks about mastery (along with autonomy and purpose) being the trifecta of motivation.  It is essential for people to feel like they are doing good work.  Gallup also maintains that people seek opportunities to grow and work with managers who can support their development.  I would also add feeling a sense of belonging.  According to recent research released by Coqual (formerly Center for Talent Innovation), people are currently searching for belonging (a place where they can be seen for their contributions, connected to their coworkers, supported in their daily work and career development, and proud of their organization’s purpose and values).  This sentiment leads to an uptick in engagement, loyalty, and productivity.

C. Seek referrals.  A common approach to hiring is to tap into your professional and personal networks as talented people usually know other talented people and are happy to pass along names.  Ask people you work with and know the culture well if they can recommend any good candidates but be specific – if you are looking for sales associates in NY who can create content and make the sale, share that information.  You can make it a practice to occasionally ask about whom they know even when you are not hiring so you can form a queue of talent and can expedite the process when the time comes.  It is vital to have a pipeline and always be recruiting.

D. Consider insiders v. outsiders.  Hiring outsider executives can be typical because people imagine this extraordinary potential that unknown people can have, even if they are more expensive.  Despite the common trends of favoring outsiders, Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant prefers insiders because you already know what you are going to get, and they have the advantage of mastering the culture and skills of the organization. There are also prevailing perspectives about the value of hiring outsiders for a team that can bring in new views.

E. Look for diversity.  Diversity matters for a lot of reasons. A crucial benefit is that diversity provides different perspectives for innovation, problem-solving, and creativity.  There should be energy devoted to getting diverse candidates in the sourcing stage, where you have a larger pool to initially pick.  Many talented candidates are not even putting their hat in the ring because they may not know about the position. Take that time to find those people so you can set your team up for great success.

2. Resume & Video. Your first introduction to a potential candidate can review their resume to see if they have the general qualifications.  While a resume offers a brief view of their record of accomplishments, usually embellishments, it says nothing about failures, so that is why you must dig beyond the resume.  You can have them send in a 5-minute video explaining how their background would allow them to be an excellent fit for the job and what they have to offer.   Alternatively, you can request a cover letter so you can get a sense of how they present themselves in writing. That will be more labor-intensive to review so you can make it optional.

3. Group Interview.  If you have many good candidates, you can do a 30-minute group interview where you ask the candidates the same 4 questions to get a read of their conversation skills, how they answer the questions, and how they interact with each other in a group setting.  For example, do they dominate the conversation and cut others off or do they build off others and allow space for multiple contributions?  This can give you a lot of data on their personality dispositions.

Setting up your hiring process can make the difference between hiring the right candidate.  By first getting clear on exactly who you want, you can begin constructing a job position that will attract the right candidates for the proper position.  Once you have these processes established, hiring can occur in a more expedited fashion.  When you go slow and get the systems down, you will be able to get better at hiring quality talent to compliment your team.

Quotes of the day: “Bet on people, not on strategies.” -Lawrence Bossidy, retired CEO of AlliedSignal

“The employer generally gets the employees he deserves” -J Paul Getty

Q: How do you plan to put together a job offer to attract the best candidate for your team? Comment and share with us; we would love to hear!

[The next blog in this series 3/5 will focus on interviewing practices]

As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

Finding the best fit for your company leads to success

Hire First For Values (Hiring Series 1/5)

What goes into selecting the right candidate to join your team?  While there are many aspects to consider, few are more important than the values of others and how they will align with your team and organization for the best synergy and results.

In Patrick Lencioni’s “The Ideal Team Player,” he argues for the importance of hiring for values and offers his humble, hungry, and smart model.  That is, exhibiting humility to think of yourself less, having the drive to pursue your goal aggressively, and the capabilities to be astute in how you interact with others.  When recruiters test for these values, they are more likely to get a great teammate.  Some would argue that these types of values and traits, such as having a positive mindset and a learning disposition, can be more important than having the technical skills to complete certain jobs because the latter can be more easily taught than the former.  This is how Southwest Airlines and many other entities organize their culture.  Hiring begins with bringing the right employees with the right values who can identify with the company’s purpose.

 Let’s take a deeper look at each value:

 1. Hungry. This value relates to an inner drive for excellence; you push until the job is done and are not satisfied with giving anything less than 100%; you have superb execution abilities.  You often think about the work outside of regular hours because you care beyond your job description.  The role may not just be a job for you, but a feeling of ownership and enduring impact.  You think more in terms of when a job is done and not dedicated hours of work.  You do not just care about your contributions, but the team outcomes.  This disposition can be inspiring to other team members and motivate them to do better.   Lencioni believes this is the hardest value to teach because it is all about the level of passion that you possess.  If you have it in abundance, you will move mountains to get the job done, if you do not, it will be hard to discover any incentive to get you to care and be hungry for positive impact.  It’s about the intrinsic motivation (you do it because you want to) over the extrinsic (you do it because you have to or simply to attain some reward).  This also does not mean you have no personal life because it is not about the number of hours but the quality of work – when you are on, you are driven by care and want to see things to the end, and when you are off, you can disconnect to get that much-needed renewal that will make you more effective overall.

A dimension of the hungry characteristic relates to having a growth mindset or eagerness to learn, you approach tasks knowing you can learn and get better at how you do them. Adam Grant mentions this as one of the most important criteria to look for in hiring.  If you have the ability and passion for learning and acquiring new knowledge and skills, there is nothing that you cannot master.  As the proverb goes, “where there is a will, there is a way.” For some generalist jobs, it is ok if you do not have the complete skillset because you will find ways to get the job done regardless, whether that means pulling in resources or developing the skills yourself. Ray Dalio’s Principles echoes a similar sentiment.  He talks about not hiring people to fit their first job but providing the ability to evolve and contribute in unforeseen ways, and that’s what learners and achievement-oriented people do, they are motivated to jump in, problem-solve, and figure things out aligned with the shared mission.  Three out of the five traits specified in the book Who: The A Method for Hiring would fall under this one category of hungry - motivation (a drive for achievement), initiation (taking action and inspiring others), and problem-solving (having the ability and interest to assimilate new information to get the best results). 

 2. Humble.  Author Rick Warren says that “humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”  When you are humble, you know what you are great at, you know how to use your talents well, and do not think you are more important than others.  Humility means jumping in and doing any work needed by the team because you are not above any task or any person.  You are comfortable using “we” language instead of “me” and can quickly apologize when you err because having that harmony is more important than your need to be right.  Lencioni said humility is the single greatest attribute to being a great team player because the root of all sin is being too proud; when you are arrogant, you think you are better and deserve better and put your interests over that of the collective.

 3. Smart.  This one has two dimensions – being capable of doing the job and being emotionally intelligent.

The first one is being proficient enough to do the job and knowing that you can be trained to learn the skill or task for whatever you do not know.  When you hire smart people, they are eager to figure things out, and even though they do not know everything, they can solve problems and grow in unfamiliar territories.  Some influencers endorse the strategy of hiring people smarter than you because you want to surround yourself with capable individuals who can challenge you.  As a leader, your job is to listen to your team, filter recommendations, and make the best decisions. 

The second dimension is having emotional intelligence, a good awareness of themselves and others, and can regulate their emotions and be sensitive to others.  They understand their strengths and weaknesses and can receive constructive criticism to make adjustments.  They have tremendous people skills; they know how to emphasize and connect with others through compassion and have common sense in group situations; they know how to “read the room” and respond to other’s concerns.  Lencioni notes that smart candidates “understand the dynamics of a group of people and how to say and do things to have a positive outcome on those around them.”  They are good listeners, collaborators, and team players. 

Lencioni says that if you hire for only one of these values, it can be dangerous because somebody who is just hungry will be a bulldozer, somebody who is just humble can be a pawn, and somebody who is just smart can be a charmer.  Aiming to get all three would increase your chances of getting an excellent team player.

4. Integrity and Character.  I added these components to Lencioni’s model.  When you hire good people, you know they will operate in ethical ways for the best interest of others.   They are honest and do not cut corners.  They are friendly and enjoyable to be around.  Management expert Tom Peters stresses the importance of hiring nice, empathetic people whose natural sensibilities would be to do the right thing.  In contrast, if you hire a jerk, they can bring down the morale and productivity of the entire team.  It does not matter how smart they are or how good they are at completing a task if it reduces the collective performance and happiness.  People yearn to connect with good people doing good work and it makes the work that much more enjoyable.

While this is the model mainly used by Lencioni, which fits his organization’s culture, you want to be sure to pick the values that align with your culture.  Before interviewing candidates, you can gather your team to ask how they would define the culture and the three most important values.  Your team can even help you determine the behaviors that exhibit those values.  For example, if you care about being a team player, you need to measure this in the interview.  You can ask about the projects they were a part of and how their contributions made the overall group better.  How did they put in processes to thrive and avoid or minimize conflicts that can derail projects?  Tell me when you had to partner with two other stakeholders and what you did to get their buy-in?  They can give an example of when this value was practiced and when it was challenged. This will help you determine if the person has lone wolf tendencies, which will not be valuable for your objective.  Pay attention to how they answer the question and if they are using words like “I” and “me” v. “we” and “the team.”

Once you are clear on the traits you are looking for, you need to let the candidates know just how much you take these values seriously, how they play out in your company, and how people are held accountable.  At the end of the interview, you can reiterate how serious you are about the values and how uncomfortable it will be to work at the company if they do not feel the same way. In fact, how much they are going to dislike the experience because the behaviors are so abundant that they would not be able to dodge them.  Sending a strong message will allow them to select out if they are not a good fit because they do not genuinely possess these values.  After all, finding the perfect candidate is not just what is best for the organization, but what is best for the candidate and the clearer the expectations are, the more they can make choices that will allow them to be in a position where they can do their best work in an environment that speaks to their values.

 Quote of the day: “I think the most important thing is just if you hire people whose personal values match the corporate core values – and not just the stated ones.”  -Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos

 Q: What are the most important values that define your team and your organization?  How can you assess this in potential candidates? Comment and share with us; we would love to hear!

 [The next blog in this series 2/5 will focus on creating a successful hiring process]

 As a Leadership Coach, I partner with leaders to get clarity on the hiring process to secure the best candidate, contact me to learn more.

Which values do you look for when hiring?

The Strength of Making Decisions in Teams (Decision Series 8/8)

Every organization consists of teams that face grave challenges – how to innovate faster, build better relationships with clients, respond to competitive threats, decide which products to invest time into and which ones to abandon. How do you decide the best direction?

Here are some tips that help teams make the best decisions together:  

1. Get on the same page.  In 1999 NASA had a mission to study the climate on the planet Mars.  After 10 months of travel and 125 million, the spacecraft burned due to a navigational mistake, which was entirely preventable.  It turns out, multiple teams were working on the project, one group used the metric system, while the other used inches, feet, and pounds.  Some of the smartest people forget to check that both teams were using the same unit of measurement, and the consequences were catastrophic.  Before you embark on the decision-making process, take some time to cover the basics, get the small details right, and properly understand the problem before deciding on something and be sure to level set on the expectations, processes, and tactics.

2. Take time for independent thinking.  Spend some time individually to consider the problem and solutions so your ideas are not heavily influenced by anybody else’s.  This will allow for more variety in creativity and innovation because there will be an even larger pool of plans in which to choose. A common mistake that many people make is that they may share their idea with their teammate and then ask for their opinion, but they have already tainted the person’s thinking and may create an environment where the person does not want to disagree with you, especially if you are the boss. This is why as a leader it is important to go last so you can hear as many raw ideas as possible for you to share your perspective.

3. Share in small groups.  Form a series of small groups of 4-6 people within the larger team so all opinions can be put on the table and a consensus can be reached on the best way that the team can solve the problem.  According to a Ted Talk by Mariano Sigman, a leading figure in the neuroscience on decision-making space, he shows how crowds are wiser when they can talk to other people in small groups.  He ran an experiment where people provided an answer to a question about how tall the Eiffel Tower was and then they had a chance to discuss and debate.   The result was that the average of the group was more accurate than the average of the individuals.

4. Share in big groups.  Have a big group discussion where each team presents their ideas and then gets outside perspectives.  It allows you to go for a “robust average”  which gives a rough estimate of all the members’ answers while discrediting outliers. The old saying, “Two heads are better than one” is most true when you can extract each person’s untainted thinking first and then combine it with others to form even deeper insights.

5. Time for thoughtful disagreements.  If three groups within the team put forth their ideas, they can exchange in the thoughtful back and forth, while others can ask questions for clarity and provide a challenge to the ideas.   When you engage in quality discussions, people’s thinking can evolve and the best collective decision can be reached.   Ray Dalio uses a technique like this.  His goal is to attain an idea meritocracy, where the best ideas win out and have nothing to do with politics, personalities, status, or other influencers. 

6. Decide on a tiebreaker. You may have strong ideas, energy, and evidence for two dominant positions, but in the end, you need to decide once you have carefully considered all sides of the discussion. Usually, when there is a deadlock in ideas, the leader should weigh in and break the tie. However, use the approach that works best for your team, if it is strictly by consensus, you can opt for that method.

7. Disagree and commit. Used widely by Andy Grove and Jeff Bezos, they believed that once a decision has been made, regardless if it was yours or not, as a team player, you need to be behind it and hope for its success rather than being indifferent or worse, aiming to sabotage the idea.

8. Use timeframes. To facilitate the decision-making process, it is helpful to use timeframes. For example, maybe you allocate a week for the first phase which is about gathering information and discussing openly. For the second phase, you can allocate the necessary time to make the decision. Without timelines, you could get stuck in endless discussions and fail to move to the execution phase.

There are many techniques that you can use to make the best group decisions. By having clear processes that allow each person to contribute their best input, hard decisions become a little less hard.

Quote of the day: "My opinion, my conviction, gains immensely in strength and sureness the minute a second mind has adopted it." -Novalis, German Author and Philosopher

Q:  How do your teams make decisions?  What processes do you use?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help them make hard decisions, contact me to explore this topic further.

What’s the best way to make group decisions?

What Comes After You Have Made a Decision? (Decision Series 7/8)

Congratulations, you have taken careful steps to make the decision that is right for you.  You got clear on your values, utilized effective informational and creative strategies, followed systems, and took action.  Now what?

Depending on your goal, whether it is about improving your decision-making skills, enhancing your current situation by reversing the decision, or just enjoying your peace of mind, you may consider the following:                                                                                                     

1. Reflect.  If you are interested in improving your decision-making abilities, carve out the necessary time to reflect.  After the choice, monitor it.  What is working?  What approaches, criteria, metrics, and systems did you use that were successful?  What did you overlook and may want to include next time you choose?  Mark Twain described the complicated nature of decision-making as follows: “Good decisions come from experience, but experience comes from making bad decisions.”  This is not to say that the only way to become a great decision-maker is to make a ton of mistakes; it just means that it is important to keep past decisions in the front of your mind to capitalize on the learning moment.

You can also do long-term reflection. You can do an annual review by asking - what was your best and worst decision you made last year? How do you know they were your best or worst? To answer these questions, most people follow a concept that Annie Duke describes as “resulting” - a decision was good if the outcome was good, but that is an incomplete way to evaluate. Just because you got home safely after drunk driving does not mean you made a good choice to jeopardize your life and the lives of others. Instead, what you can do is map out a few other choices you could have made and then evaluate them against the choice that you actually made. What did you wish you would have known at the time, how could you have found out that information, what will you do differently next time? Asking these kinds of questions will improve your decision-making processes.

2. Choose to reverse a big decision.  We think that when we make a selection, we have lost all agency, but we can always choose to course-correct if we have given it enough time and decided with all our minds and hearts that it is not right for us at this time.  Decisions are not permanent sentences and when we can get creative about having the confidence to tweak our choices or even reverse them, we can attain more happiness.

3. Enjoy the peace of mind of making a small, lasting decision.  Making some irrevocable determinations can bring more happiness.  Daniel Gilbert ran a study where at the end of his photography course, students had to choose which photo of the many to keep.  Group A was told that if they changed their mind later, they could swap the photo.  Group B was told their choice was final.  You would think that many people were happy in the first group because they preserved their options, knowing they could always trade their photo.  The study found that when people made an irrevocable decision, they rationalized it easily move forward.  Once something is gone forever, the mind gets to work, figuring out why what it has is better than what it lost.  But when a decision is irrevocable, you ruminate and think, do I like this photograph, maybe the other one goes better in my living room, I should take it back and upgrade.  When it comes to smaller decisions, set yourself up for ones that do not leave you with an out, at the end of the day, it is just a picture.

Depending on your goal, there are things you can do after a decision is made.  If you are trying to be a better decision-maker, you can reflect on your choice and monitor how it works out and what you did well in the process leading up to the decision.  If you are aiming for happiness, you may choose to alter or reverse the selection.  If you are interested in attaining peace of mind relating to small decisions, you may want to make irrevocable ones.

Quote of the day: “All life is an experiment.  The more experiments you make, the better.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Q: How do you reflect on your decisions once you made them to improve your future decisions?  What was your best and worst decision of last year? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 8/8 will focus on decision-making in teams.] 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help them make hard decisions and reflect on their process, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you make decisions that make you proud?

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help them make hard decisions, contact me to explore this topic further.